


Heartburn

by Phandomrunners



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angry Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Phil, Bottom Phil Lester, Bullying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cutting, Depression, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, First Dates, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Marking, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, School Dances, Sexting, Slow Dancing, Smoking, Sneaking Out, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Dan Howell, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, top dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:59:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 68,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandomrunners/pseuds/Phandomrunners
Summary: Dan is the badass of the school. He only has one friend and everyone else is scared of him or just avoids him. Phil is pretty popular and he gets dared by one of his friends to try and get Dan to fall for him.Who knew a dare could lead to so much more?





	1. Chapter 1

Phil laughed loudly when Marcus threw his bag of carrots at him. "Bug off dude!" Marcus yelled, insulted when Phil had pointed out his crush on one of the Senior girls. "Oh come on, you're totally into her!" Phil said, sticking a carrot into his mouth and waving his eyebrows at him.

Dan walked into the lunchroom with PJ. Dan had been going to this school for three years now and he'd made exactly one friend. He insisted that was all he needed. "Peej. Come over this weekend?"

"What about you, Phil? Who do you like?" Alfie asked, smoothing out the wrinkles in his jacket as he raised an eyebrow at him. Phil leaned back slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "You know I don't get crushes," he said, taking a drink of his water and sighing when nobody believed him. "It's the truth!"

"Yeah sure. We could smoke a bit." PJ says and Dan nods. "That's what I was planning." He gets up, beginning to walk across the room to get himself a tray of food.

"Why you gotta lie to us man?" Marcus said, grinning as a cute girl walked past and he smirked at Phil. "Come onnn this school is loaded with hot girls. You have to have at least one crush." Phil just shrugged again, setting his water down.

Dan walked passed their table, glancing over out of habit because of their loud conversation. He looked away quickly and kept walking, standing in line for his food.

Phil watched as the guy wearing all black and wearing a pissed off look walked by. Dan. He wondered what his problem was as he turned his attention to Zoe, who was curled up to Alfie's side. "You look dead, are you okay?" He asked with a chuckle. She blinked slowly at him and yawned. "I forgot to bring coffee and I'm literally dying."

Dan got his food, walking back to his table. He sat down next to PJ who was on his phone texting because, unlike Dan, he had more then one friend.

Phil laughed and stood up from his seat. "I'm gonna buy hot Cheetos anyone want anything?" He asked, pulling out his wallet and grabbing a 10.  Everyone yelled out a type of chips and he gave them a thumbs up before he went to get chips for all of them.

Dan pulled his phone out, checking for a text from someone. He knew he wouldn't have one though. "Fuck. I forgot a drink." He says, standing up and walking towards the vending machines to get a Pepsi.

Phil looked down at his phone as he walked, laughing at something someone said before he accidentally bumped into Dan, knocking him down. "Oh my god, are you okay?" He asked, laughing slightly, holding his hand out to help him up.

Dan glanced up, taking his hand and standing up. "I'm fine." He mumbles and pulls a dollar out of his pocket to get his drink.

Phil nods at him and continues on, feeling slightly bad for knocking him down as he continued on to the vending machines to get the chips. When he made his way back to his seat Marcus raised his eyebrows at him. "What?" Phil asked, tossing him his chips. "The freak of the school, really Phil? You have bad taste."

Dan heard this as he walked past but said nothing, getting to the table and sitting down. He opened his drink and started eating his food, trying to ignore the fact that the words hurt. No matter how much he acted like they didn't.

"What? I don't like him, you asswipe. I helped him up after knocking him down. I'm not an asshole like you," he said, tossing the other bags to Zoe and alfie. He sat down and started digging into his own chips, pulling out his phone again.

PJ looked up. "What's wrong?" He asked immediately. He was the only person who saw through Dan's charade. The only person who knew when Dan was really upset. Dan shrugged, glancing at the table quickly. "Fucking Marcus talking shit again?" He asked.

"Are you sure? I saw you doing googly eyes," Marcus said teasingly, winking at Phil. "Oh shut up Marcus," Phil said in response, shoving more chips in his mouth and throwing one at him. Zoe shook her head. "He's a bad choice Phil."

Dan nodded and PJ sighed. "Do you want me to beat his ass?" He asked softly and Dan chuckled. "No. I'll be fine. It's just... fucking annoying."

"I don't like him!" Phil said louder than he meant to, pissed at his friends. "Seriously. You guys just try to hook me up with whoever I look at," Phil said, lowering his voice and rolling his eyes.

PJ looked up at the noise, rolling his eyes and looking back at Dan. "I can't believe I used to be friends with them."

All of Phils friends shut up when he yelled at he continued eating, moving his attention back to his phone as the rest of his friends cracked jokes and shit talked on Dan. He smiled when he got a text from Chris and answered it immediately. "Ay party this weekend? Parents are away." Phil thought about it before he shrugged and replied "hell yeah I'm down."

Dan chuckled. "And then I became your neighbor. Whoops." PJ punched his shoulder jokingly. "Shut up. I like being friends with you. By the way, one of my friends is having a party this weekend. You down to go with me?"

"Chris is having a party this weekend," Phil told his friends quietly so nobody else heard. "I think it'll be fun."

Dan shrugged, "Whatever." PJ nodded, "I'm taking that as a yes." He grins and sets his phone down, beginning to eat his lunch. "We can go to the party Friday and then I'll crash at your place Saturday and Sunday."

Marcus nodded and whooped. "I'll bring the beer," he said, raising his eyebrows at Phil. "You know I don't drink," Phil said, sliding his phone into his pocket. Marcus shrugged. "You're missing out dude."

Dan nodded, "Sounds good. I'm full." He said, standing up to go dump his tray.

Phil saw Marcus stick out his foot to trip Dan and Phil kicked his leg so he would miss him.

Dan tripped anyways, dropping his tray on the floor and falling. He managed to bust his lip when he hit the floor and he just stayed there for a moment before he felt hands on him, trying to help him stand. "Real mature Marcus." PJ says as he helps Dan up.

Phil dropped his eyes to his plate in guilt as his friends chuckled. Marcus snorted and shoved a chip into his mouth. "Watch where you're going."

Dan stands up, not saying a word. He brings his hand up to his lip and wiped the blood away. He rolled his eyes and walked off.

"You sure you don't have a crush on him?" Marcus asked with a smirk, crossing his arms. Phil shook his head. "I don't," he said before he stood up as well, throwing his plate in the trash and making his way to his next period as the bell rang.

Dan walked to the bathroom, cleaning up his lip. PJ followed him. "God. Marcus is such an ass!" He says angrily.

Phil walked to math class and sat himself down in his seat, pulling out his papers and textbook and drumming his pencil on the desk as he waited for the stupid class to start.

Dan nodded. "I'm aware." He says, rolling his eyes. "Can you help me?" He asked and PJ nodded, walking forward and cleaning up his lip.

Kids started taking their seats and Phil smiled when Chris sat behind him. "A party?" He questioned as he turned around in his seat. Chris nodded and shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? It'll be cool, and I've got 4 days to clean up the house after."

After PJ cleaned his lip, standing a bit closer then he probably needed to, they left the bathroom and Dan headed to class. Math. He groaned and walked in.


	2. 2

Chris laughed when Phil joked about Marcus falling into the pool like he did at the last party, and he nodded his head. "Wouldn't surprise me, he always does stupid shit when he's drunk." Phil nodded in agreement and turned around to face the teacher as she did attendance. When she called Phils name he replied with here and several people whooped, causing him to chuckle and roll his eyes.

Dan rolled his eyes. Sometimes he just wanted to drop out of school. The teacher called his name and he said "Here." And no one gave a shit. Sometimes he really hated school.

Phils eyes found Dan when she called the teacher called his name and he noticed his busted lip but averted his eyes to the teacher again as she began explaining the lesson and writing down notes, which Phil lazily copied down. Doing well was important to Phil because he wanted to go to College and do well in life, but he didn't try as much as he should've. When the teacher looked away he turned back to Chris. "You wanna hang out at my place tonight? I have a history project I don't wanna do alone."

Dan took notes perfectly. He had to pass this class, it was the only one he struggled in. Everything else he passed with flying colors, whether he skipped class regularly or not. Math was the one subject he struggled with though and he never skipped this class.

"Sure, if you help me set up for the party tomorrow," Chris said, keeping his voice low. Phil shrugged. "Why are you setting up tomorrow why not set up on Friday?" Chris seemed insulted as he huffed. "Because that means I have a day to make sure I didn't miss anything. You need to improve your party knowledge Phil, honestly." Phil laughed and was about to reply when he heard his name being called by the teacher.

Dan chuckled as the teacher asked Phil a question, he looked clueless. It was obvious he hadn't been paying attention.

Phil cleared his throat and turned back to the teacher. "Yes?" He asked with a small smile, hoping his teacher would let him get out of this one.

Dan bit his lip, trying to stifle a chuckle.

The teacher crossed her arms. "There will be no talking in my classroom. What is the answer to number 30 on your worksheet?" Phil bit his lip and looked down, "$3.26," he read aloud, thankful when the teacher nodded and moved on to the next person. He let out a shaky breath when he heard someone chuckle, his eyes finding Dan, trying to hold in his laugh. He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked away and began paying attention again.

Dan chuckled and continued doing his work, his face scrunched in concentration.

Phil did all the boring shit the teacher tossed at them and was thankful when the class ended, as he quickly grabbed his stuff and walked out of the door, pulling Chris out by his sleeve. "She's such a bitch!" He said when they were in the halls. "She's just bitter because she needs to get laid," he continued on, sticking his math book in his locker. Chris chuckled and leaned against his locker. "Aren't you a virgin?" He asked a bit too loud, causing Phil to go red as he smacked him. "Bug off!"

Dan walked by, rolling his eyes. He hated when students did that. Got mad at teachers because they caught them doing something they shouldn't be doing. And then talking shit about them for enforcing the rules.

"You're a virgin too," Phil said, grabbing his history book. "Everyone in this school is because we're all too pussy to actually do anything. Besides Marcus who sleeps with any girl that is desperate enough." Chris nodded, "you've got a point," he said, grabbing his science book. "Only a period to go," he said with a sigh before he walked off to his class.

Dan heard the conversation, shaking his head slightly. He definitely wasn't a virgin. Neither was PJ. But that was none of their business. So Dan kept his head down, walking to his last class.

Phil noticed Dan watching him and he rolled his eyes. He hoped that one time helping him off the ground wouldn't make him talk to him. As much of an ass Marcus could be, he did have a point. Dan was rude and he was the type of kid who did drugs in the school parking lot, and Phil wanted nothing to do with him. Phil was thankful when he walked away as he began walking to his own class.

Dan walked into his next class, sitting down in the back like he usually did. He got his notebook out and looked around. They still had a few minutes before class started so he got his phone out, texting PJ. "Apparently Lester thinks everyone in this school is a virgin. If only he knew..." He chuckled.

Phil sat through his history class miserably. Why does history even matter? He didn't feel like learning about a bunch of old people. He watched the clock as he turned to the girl who sat behind him. He didn't know her very well, but everyone in the school knew him and all it took was a smile to make friends for Phil. "Hi. Do you have the notes from last night? It seems I've forgotten mine," he said, smiling gently.

PJ laughed loudly, he was in history as well. He looked up at Phil quickly before responding to Dan's text. "If he think either one of is a virgin he's sadly mistaken."

"Y-yeah sure, you can copy mine," the girl said with a blush and Phil smiled widely at her with a nod before he began copying her notes quickly before the class started. He grinned, thankful for his charm as he handed her back her notes. "Thank you ma'lady," he said, causing her to giggle shyly and smile.

PJ chuckled, "Ooh. Lester's flirting pretty hard here. Maybe he's ready to finally swipe his vCard" he sent and Dan had to fight back a laugh.

Phil turned his attention to the notes as he read them, making sure they were believable as his. He leaned back in his seat and began to drum his fingers on his desk as he waited for the teacher to collect them.

Soon the bell rang and Dan walked out, going to his locker and throwing everything inside since he didn't have any homework today. He waited for PJ to meet him so he could get a ride home.

Phil tucked his stuff into his backpack and swung it over his shoulder, pulling out his phone and texting Chris. 'Hey meet me by my locker, I'll drive us.' He waited for Chris as Marcus and Alfie walked up to him. They talked for a bit until he saw Chris, smiling at him as he held up his keys and they started outside, talking about the party and who all was coming.

PJ and Dan walked out as well, heading towards PJ's car. "So what do you want to do?" Dan asked PJ and he shrugged.

"No way! You're inviting Samantha?" Phil asked, laughing loudly. "Dude she turned you down like 5 times, why do you keep trying?" 

Chris shoved him and chuckled. "Maybe she changed her mind." 

Phil rolled his eyes as he unlocked his car. "You're aiming too high buddy. Everyone wants a piece of her."

"We could go back to mine. Get high." Dan says, smirking a bit and PJ laughed. "You know what happens when we get high together Dan."

Phil started the car and listened to Chris rant about her as he pulled out of the school parking lot. "Do you actually like her or are you just trying to get some?" Phil asked as he adjusted his mirror. 

Chris sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I really like her," he said, causing Phil to make a sour face as he drove them to his house. "Yikes," he said, feeling bad for Chris.

Dan grinned. "Well maybe that's what I want." He says and PJ chuckled. "Alright. Let's go then."

When they got to Phils house, they made their way up to his room, and Phil was thankful his parents worked late so that they weren't bothering them. He threw his backpack down and collapsed on his bed. "I fucking hate school," he said with a sigh, turning over to face Chris, who nodded in agreement.

They made it to Dan's house, walking passed his mom on the couch who was lighting a bong. They made it to his room and Dan opened his school bag, pulling out his weed. "Let's do this."

Phil sat up as he pulled his history assignment out of his backpack, showing it to Chris as he sat next to him on the bed. "This is fucking dumb," he said, pulling out a pencil and having Chris help him with it as he groaned and sighed through the whole thing.

They'd worked their way through about three joints, giggling and blowing smoke into each other's faces. "Fuck." Dan leaned back on his bed and PJ straddled him. "Fuck indeed." He said, causing both of them to laugh.

Phil jammed his stuff back into his backpack when they were done, lying back on his bed as Chris told him about what he was getting for the party. "You should try drinking at one. It makes things better," Chris said, sighing as Phil shook his head. "You know how my parents are," he said with a sigh, taking his shoes off and setting them on the floor. "C'mon, I'll look after you. Please?" Chris asked, wanting Phil to actually have a good party experience.

"Why do you always look so hot when I'm high?" PJ asked and Dan chuckled. "I'm hot all the time. It's just the only time you admit it is when you're high."

Phil shrugged his shoulders. "Only if you keep me out of doing stupid shit," Phil said, grinning. Chris smiled excitedly, "hell yeah! The famous Lester drinking at a party!" Phil rolled his eyes and kicked Chris, laughing lightly.

PJ laughed, taking another drag from the joint and leaning down, blowing the smoke into Dan's mouth. He giggled and kissed Dan's cheek.

Phil rolled over when Chris pulled out his phone, lying next to him as he texted Zoe the details of the party. "I'm actually kinda excited," Phil admitted as he looked up at Chris. Chris smiled down at him and nodded, "it'll be a blast. You just need to learn how to loosen up." Phil pretended to look offended as he rolled onto his back. "I am very loose," he said, his eyes growing and his face going red as Chris laughed. "Not what I meant!"

Dan laughed, turning his head again and pecking PJ on the lips. They did this sometimes when they where high. Sometimes it was small kisses. Sometimes they made out. A couple of times they'd gone all the way and had sex with each other. And sometimes they did nothing.

A couple of hours later Chris left and Phil was left alone at home again. He ran his fingers through his hair as he searched the pantry for food, finding all healthy shit and groaning. He made his way to his room and turned his light on, pulling out his math homework and starting on it in the silentness of his house.

Dan was laid in bed next to PJ. PJ was sleeping, his head resting on Dan's chest. They where both naked, the bottom halves of their bodies hidden by the blankets. Dan was scrolling on his phone, trying to find something to distract him.

Phil sighed and set his books down on the ground, yawning as he took out his phone to see a text from Marcus. 'Yo you're drinking at the party?!' Phil groaned and sent a reply 'Chris told you?' Marcus didn't respond and he sighed again, setting his phone down as he made his way to the bathroom to shower.

PJ woke up slowly, looking up at Dan. "Shit did I pass out again?" Dan chuckled, nodding. "You did. As always."

Phil started the shower as he locked the bathroom door, looking at his reflection as he started undressing, looking down at his body with a frown. People always told him he had a nice body but he didn't see it. He didn't have as many muscles as people like Marcus and he had skinny arms. He looked away as he stepped into the shower, humming at the warmth over his tired body from track team.

PJ got his stuff together, running his hands through his hair. "We really should stop having sex when we're high." He says and Dan looks up with a chuckle. "Yeah, probably. We won't though. Will we?" PJ paused. "Probably not."

Phil washed his body and heard his front door open, meaning his parents were home. He washed slower, not wanting to talk to them as they'd just ask to check his homework and check how his grades were. That's all that mattered to them. Having the perfect son.

PJ left and Dan walked downstairs. "Mum?" He called, seeing her still on the couch. "Yeah baby?" He sat down next to her. "Dad coming home tonight?" He asked softly.

Phil finished washing a while later when he was sure his parents were in their bedroom, where they spent all of their time at home and he stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around himself and hurrying to his room, closing the door and locking it so they couldn't barge in as he sat on his bed and checked his phone again, not seeing any notifications and frowning as he plugged it into the charger and got under his covers, deciding to text Chris.

"I don't know baby." She says and stands up, stumbling a bit. "What do you want for dinner? Mac and Cheese?" Dan sighed. "We had that last night." She looked down sadly. "It's all we can afford right now, Dan."

Phil texted Chris hey and was relieved when Chris texted back immediately. 'Rooftop?" He asked, hoping Chris would be able to sneak out. Sometimes he and Chris would sneak out to his rooftop and they'd just sit and talk, a stress reliever for Phil and a chance away from his clingy parents and a good time for Chris, as he usually drank.

"I could get a job." He offers again, something he did regularly. "No. No, I refuse to have my son support us. I'm your mother. I work. Your father works. We have to give up a few things but we make it work. You focus on school." Dan sighed sadly and sat down on the couch, seeing his moms bong. "Can I have some of this?" He asks, his mom knew he smiled and she didn't care. "Sure. I'm going to cook dinner."

When Chris agreed, Phil turned off his light before he cracked his window open, sliding out of it and running down to street to hang out on Chris's roof.


	3. 3

Dan immediately took a hit from the bong and sighed deeply. It always seemed to taste better, work faster, coming from a bong then a simple joint.

Phil sat next to Chris as they stared into the dark sky. "Did you want to talk about something?" Chris asked, offering a bag of chips to him. Phil shook his head but took the chips. "I just needed some company," he said, opening the chips. "I wish I had a brother or sister," he admitted as he looked at Chris. Chris had been his bestfriend since 6th grade and he was the only one who was really ever there for him.

Dan leaned back, wondering if there was ever a time when he wasn't high? He shook his head, best to leave the existential crisis for sober thoughts. He heard his mom stumbling in the kitchen and he checked the time. His dad was probably working late. He always worked late now a days. Trying to make ends meet was hard. His mom worked at a grocery store across town, they where the only place that would hire her. But they only needed her two or three times a week so Dan's dad worked late to make ends meet. Both of his parents refused to allow Dan to get a job.

"Can I even consider them friends Chris?" Phil asked with a sigh, looking down at his jeans. "I mean yeah they hang out with me, but when are they ever there? When do they ever ask if I'm okay?" Phil liked ranting to Chris because Chris listened to him and was there for him instead of laughing at him. 

"I don't know.. I think you're lucky enough to be able to get through school with anyone.. think of that Dan guy."

Dan heard his mom curse and he jumped up, "Oh fuck!" He shouted. "Mum, get away!" He yelled, she'd somehow managed to set the curtains on fire. He grabbed her and ran, picking his phone up quickly and dialing 999.

"He has that PJ guy.. and it's not like he'd let anyone in even if someone tried. He hates everyone," Phil said quietly, picking at the fabric on his jacket. 

Chris shook his head. "Its not like anyone tries though."

The fire department got their quickly. The only damage done was to the kitchen. They'd have to stay with someone else though, there was too much smoke in the house. "Fuck. Mum do you think I could stay with PJ, so I have a ride to school?" She nodded, "Just let me call and talk to his mum. Tell her what's going on."

Phil shrugged his shoulders and lied back, looking up at the stars. "Am I a fuckup?" He asked Chris quietly. He seemed so perfect from everyone else's view but he was lame on the inside. He never smoked or drank or took risks. He had never slept with anyone or had a girlfriend. He was boring. Simple. 

Chris shook his head. "You're one of the most popular guys at School Phil." Phil groaned. Thats all he was to anyone. Popular.

Dan sat on the sidewalk, waiting for PJ to get here. He lived across town, having moved there last year. He and Dan used to be neighbors. Now he lives down the street from Phil, across the street from Chris. He heard a car pull up and he jumped up, walking to the car. "Dude what happened?" PJ asked and Dan shrugged. "She was more high then sober. Tried to cook dinner. Caught fire to the curtains. We're both fine. Just a lot of damage done to the kitchen and we have to stay somewhere else for a couple of days because of the smoke."

Phil noticed smoke in the distance and pointed it out to Chris. They both frowned looking at it. "I'm gonna head home," Phil said smiling at him gently. "Thanks for being there for me," Phil said before waving at him and climbing down his roof, making his way back home as he stuck his hands in his jacket pocket and looked in the distance at the smoke.


	4. 4

* time skip *

Dan was wearing PJ's clothes. He had been for a couple of days, he thought maybe people would notice he wasn't wearing his usual all black. But nobody noticed that. Nobody noticed his busted lip or the fact that he couldn't stop coughing because of his smoke inhalation. No one noticed. "High school fucking sucks." He said to PJ Friday night when they where getting ready for the party and PJ chuckled a bit. "Yeah. That's true."

Phil adjusted his buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning the top two ones and running his fingers through his hair. When he thought he looked okay, he met Marcus and Zoe outside of his house, Alfie was already at the party. "You ready Lester?" Marcus asked as he leaned back on his car. Phil nodded and cleared his throat. "Let's do this," he said, before sitting in the front seat of Marcus's car and pulling out his phone to text Chris.

Dan and PJ made it to the party, Dan stepping out and looking around. "Do you think they've got weed here?" He asked and PJ laughed. "I'm sure you'll be able to find some in there somewhere. Come on, let's go get fucked up."

Phil stepped out of the car once they got there and laughed, seeing someone mooning everyone on the roof. He turned to Zoe and offered her a wide smile as they walked into Chris's house, which was packed with people. 

"Lemme get you a drink Lester," Marcus said, putting a hand on his shoulder as he maneuvered him through the crowd of people. "Damn it's packed," Phil said, leaning back on the kitchen counter while Marcus grabbed them beers.

Dan was sat on a couch between one couple that was making out to his left and a girl who was snapchatting everything to his right. He groaned and stood up, heading to get himself a beer from the kitchen.

Phil took the beer from Marcus and opened it up a bit hesitantly. He'd only drank once in his life at the beginning of last year and he was still weird about it. 

"Come on don't be a pussy," Marcus said, raising his drink to his lips. 

Phil nodded and did the same, drinking down the cold alcohol that burned his throat.

Dan made it to the kitchen, seeing Phil and Marcus. He ignored them and walked forward, grabbing a beer for himself.

Phil watched Dan get a beer as he raised the drink to his lips again, ignoring the burn to instead bury his worries in it.

Marcus smirked at him. "You're doing good. We should get everyone together to play some truth or dare," Marcus said, drinking down his beer almost instantly and setting the empty bottle down. 

Phil nodded and tried to drink his a bit faster as well, looking for Chris in the crowd.

Dan leaned against the fridge, not caring that he was around people who hated him. He opened his beer and drank half of it in one go.

Marcus looked at Dan with a face of disgust and Phil looked at him as well, thinking about what Chris had said. He leaned off of the counter as his head spun some. "I'm gonna find Zoe, Alfie and Chris, let's meet up in here," he told Marcus as he drank down the rest of his beer. He waited for Dan to move out of the way so he could grab another one.

Dan chuckled at Phil slurring his words a bit already but moved out of his way, locking eyes with Marcus. "There something you need Marcus?" He asked snarkily.

"For you to get out of here. Nobody even wants you here, why bother to show up?" Marcus said rudely. Phil grabbed another beer and opened it as he left the kitchen, not wanting to be involved in the fight as he started searching for his friends in the crowd.

He found Zoe and Alfie making out and he told them about the game and they agreed, heading to the kitchen. He looked everywhere but couldn't seem to find Chris.

"Chris invited PJ." Dan says, moving slightly out of Phil's way as he leaves the room. "And PJ invited me. So obviously one person wanted me here."

"Yeah your boyfriend," Marcus said with a chuckle, chugging down his second beer. "Where is he by the way? Getting laid without you?" Marcus said as his lips curled up into a smirk.

Phil finally found Chris on his roof and sat down next to him, smiling softly. "Why aren't you down there?" He asked as he drank more of his beer. "We were gonna play truth or dare."

"Just because we fuck once in a while doesn't make him my boyfriend." Dan says and chuckled. "And if he wants to 'get off' without me I don't care." He shrugged finishing his drink. "At least I know I can get laid."

Marcus laughed loudly and got in Dan's face. "I can get laid anytime I want. I don't have to be high for it," Marcus said sharply. Everyone knew about Dan's smoking problems and everyone knew him and Pj fucked, and Marcus loved using that against him.

Phil convinced Chris to join them, and soon enough everyone was meeting up in the kitchen, Marcus and Dan still arguing.

"I don't have to be high for it either dipshit." Dan said calmly. "I like the way smoking makes me feel. That's not a fucking crime. "But believe, motherfucker, everyone likes a bad boy. And I can get laid anytime I want. It doesn't have to be some helpless drunk girl at a party."

Phils eyes widened as he looked at Chris, trying not to laugh as Dan made a point. "The only fuck you get is Pj because he's as desperate as you are. You're both fags that nobody wants around," Marcus growled.

"Oh please!" Dan laughed and looked around the room. "See her," he said, pointing to Cat. "We fucked last week." And he stepped closer to Marcus. "And neither one of us where high. We just really wanted to do it."

Marcus shoved him away and narrowed his eyes at him. "Get out of my face, freak."

Dan backed up slightly. "Don't fucking touch me." He says and looks at Marcus. "Don't be jealous. We all know you've wanted to bone Cat since she moved here. But she chose me, ME, the freak of the school to sleep with before you. How's that make you feel?"

Marcus got close to Dan and grabbed him by his shirt. "You're just a fucking sad loser. You spend your days smoking away because you know you're not good enough for anyone. She probably boned you because she felt bad for you. Let me guess, you asked her to shove her fingers up you?" Marcus spit in his face, shoving him against the fridge.

Dan chuckled. "No. I believe she asked me to shove my fingers up her." He said, wiping his face. "And oh god, the way she moaned when I finally gave her what she wanted." He glanced at Cat. She didn't look mad. Just shocked. She didn't care that people knew now. Dan was the one that offered to keep it a secret, not wanting to ruin her reputation. But she just looked happy that he was finally coming clean. "And when I slid inside of her. Oh god, she moaned so loud. She loved it." Dan was just trying to piss Marcus off now.

Marcus got angry as he shoved Dan again. "You're such a pathetic cunt," he said, turning around and walking away, Alfie and Zoe following him while Chris and Phil stood shocked staring at him.

Dan slid down the fridge a bit, coughing again. PJ walked in the room and he saw Dan. "What the hell happened?"

Phil wanted to help but he couldn't bring himself to move, just watching PJ comfort Dan. Chris pulled on his arm, snapping him back into reality as he went to find Marcus and the others.

Phil found Marcus in the backyard, sitting down as they had already started the game. Phil and Chris sat down as they joined in. "Okay - Zoe I dare you to... chug down a beer as fast as you can," Alfie said, grinning as he handed her a new beer. Phil sat stunned as Zoe opened it and began chugging it down with no problem, finishing it within a minute and throwing it as she whooped.

PJ rolled his eyes, helping Dan a bit. "Come on. Let's go get high. Thank you Cat." He says as they walk away, going upstairs. "He was right. About me smoking." Dan say and PJ shook his head. "He doesn't know shit."

When Zoe finished she whispered something to Marcus and Marcus smirked. "Alright Phil, you down to take a dare?" 

Phil nodded and Marcus's smirk grew. "I dare you to talk to the freak."

They made it upstairs and PJ opened a window, crawling on the roof. "Come on, I brought a joint for us to share. Smoke with me."

Phil shrugged his shoulders. "That's easy," he said, ready to stand up before Marcus stopped him. "I have a better idea.. I dare you to get him to fall for you." 

Phil stood stunned. How was he going to do that? Dan hated everyone. "I can't do that.." Phil said nervously and everyone groaned.

"Oh come on, don't be a pussy! It's a daree," Alfie said and Marcus and Zoe nodded. "Can't let down a dare," Zoe added.

Dan sighed and laid his head on PJ's shoulder, smoking with him. "Am I a fuck up?" He asked quietly and PJ shook his head. "No. A little fucked up? Yeah, maybe. But not a complete fuck up. You're actually pretty awesome. People just refuse to see it."

Phil shook his head again, sitting back down. "Hed never like me anyway, there's no use trying." Chris didn't say anything and Phil was a bit surprised that he wasn't trying to stop Phil.

"Cmonn man if you're not going to do it then why are you even playing?" Marcus asked with a groan. "Do we gotta tell everyone Lester is a pussy?" He added on with a smirk.

Phil shook his head and thought about what he was agreeing to. It's not like Dan would fall for him anyway, why did it matter?

"One day." PJ says, looking at the stars with Dan. "One day someone will look at you and see the stars in your eyes and the sun in your smile and they'll realize how amazing you are and they'll fall for you." He looks at Dan and Dan chuckled a bit. "How high are you?" He asked PJ.

Phil bit his lip before letting out a shaky breath. "Fine. I'll do it," he said, causing the group to cheer and high five him. Phil sat back down as the group continued playing, wondering how the fuck hed get the bad boy to fall for him.

PJ laughed. "I am very very high right now. But I'm being serious Dan." He said and turned slightly, looking him in the eyes. "It'll happen one day." He whispers and Dan sighs shakily, leaning in to kiss PJ because he was extremely happy because of what PJ was saying and emotional because of some of the words screamed at him tonight. He needed a distraction from everything.

Phil did some other dares like eating gross stuff and chugging more beers, and at the end of the night he had lost track of how many beers he had had as he giggled and leaned into Chris, feeling like he could fall asleep at any moment. He hiccuped before he pulled Chris up with him. "G-gotta find Dan," he said, his words slurred and his head fuzzy as he thought about his dare.

PJ kissed back immediately and Dan sighed, wrapping his arms around him. He honestly loved kissing PJ. It was always nice, never forceful. And when it lead to more.. sex with PJ was the most meaningful sex he'd ever had. He'd never been in love. Never made love. But PJ was his best friend. And when they had sex it was as close to love as anything Dan had ever felt before.

Phil couldn't find Dan anywhere and he groaned. "I think we should head home Phil, your parents will be home soon," Chris told Phil.

PJ pulled away, "I don't think we should do it tonight. You're upset." He says and Dan nods. "Let's get out of here. You're good to drive right?" He asked and PJ nodded. "I didn't drink at all. I'm good to drive."

Phil nodded and let Chris lead him out of his house, glad he was walking him home. "I'm so tired.. of Marcus," Phil said with a hiccup. He looked down at his feet while Chris held him so he wouldn't fall, leading him back to his house. When they got there, Chris led him up to his room and moved to get water and medicine for him. Phil had always hung around the wrong people and had been pressured to do the wrong things, but he didn't see "tricking dan" as a bad thing.. Dan needed someone.

PJ drove them to his house. They walked upstairs, Dan stripping to his underwear like he usually slept and PJ changing into pajama bottoms. "Peej. You're so nice. Everyone else, they're dickheads. Make my life hell, worse then it already his. But you.. you're so helpful." Dan was obviously still high.

Chris handed him the water and pills and Phil quickly took them, lying down as his head was fuzzy and he blinked slowly, obviously sleepy. "Get some rest," Chris said gently, before he was locking Phils door and climbing out his window. Phil lied on his stomach after Chris left, closing his eyes and immediately falling asleep, his memories already fading.

PJ crawled into bed next to Dan, kissing him on the cheek. "Get some sleep. We both need it. Tomorrow is going to be hell." PJ says, knowing Marcus was going to cause drama after what happened at the party between him and Dan.

Phil slept quietly through the night, the party now just a blur in his head.

 

**

Dan woke up the next day, his head hurt a bit but besides that he was fine. He stood up, pulling his clothes back on. He needed to go home.

Phil stirred awake at the loud banging on his door. "Get up! You have school in 15 minutes!" His mom yelled through his door and he sighed, sitting up and groaning at the pain in his head. His head was pounding and everything was too bright and too loud. He slowly got up and threw on one of his loose shirts and skinny jeans, wondering what the hell he did last night. He went into the bathroom and slipped his contacts in, hating the bags under his eyes.

Dan got home quickly, changing into his usual all black attire. He walked to school, getting there a bit earlier then he usually did but not really caring. He didn't need PJ to babysit him all the time.

Phil slid on his school jacket and his converse, trying his best to fix his hair before he was grabbing his backpack and hurriedly walking out the door, not wanting his parents to talk to him. He was thankful when he made it out of house without being stopped. He slipped into his car and grabbed his phone, texting Chris.

"Do you remember what the fuck happened last night? Also, do you need a ride?" Phil started his car and it didn't take long for Chris to reply. "Yes to both of those questions."

Dan walked to his locker, seeing Cat there. "Hey, how are you?" She asked and Dan laughed a bit. "I'm good Cat. Honestly. I'm fine. Marcus is an ass, but it's fine."

Phil stopped by Chris's house and was glad when Chris was waiting outside. "Hop in," he told him, and Chris didn't waste any time, sliding into the passenger seat. It was silent for a little until Chris finally told Phil what he needed to hear.

"You got dared to make Dan fall for you - and you agreed," he told him, Phils eyes going wide as he panicked. "I did what?! That's so cruel!"

Cat smiled. "You're so strong Dan. Tough too." She flirted and Dan chuckled a bit, feeling awkward. "Thank you."

"Marcus told us that he's going to tell everyone that you're a pussy if you don't do it and that Dan deserves it," Chris said, trying to calm Phil down some.

"Oh god Chris, I can't do that. He doesn't even like me!" Phil said, his mind buzzing with thoughts on how he could get out of this. 

Chris shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window. "Maybe it's not a bad idea.." he said quietly, nearly causing Phil to slam on his breaks. "Chris are you crazy?!"

The bell rang, signaling they had five minutes before class started. "Uhm.. I better go. I've got English first period."

When Phil arrived at school he was still panicking slightly, hurrying into the school with Chris by his side.

"What do you mean it's not a bad idea?!" He asked in a low voice. Chris smiled awkwardly and shrugged. "I mean Dan does need someone.."

Phil rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, making his way to his first period class, which he had with Chris. "God why did I agree to this?"

Dan sighed, looking out the window as his class started. He had a sinking feeling that something was going to go wrong today. He shut his eyes briefly, he was feeling the need to get high. School hadn't even actually started yet. He sighed, ignoring the feeling and opened his eyes again as people walked into the classroom.

Phil led Chris to his drama first period, which him and Chris took together as an elective. "What if I actually do this? What if people find out? I'll be just as bad as Marcus," Phil said quietly as he set his backpack down on his desk. "I don't know.. Maybe nobody will find out," Chris said, setting his backpack down as well. Phil sat down in his seat with a huff. "Why am I agreeing to this?"

*time skip until after class* 

Dan got his stuff together, leaving the classroom and walking towards his locker. He passed Marcus who knocked his books out of his hands and he sighed, bending down to pick them up without saying a word.

Phil took a deep breath when he saw Marcus drop Dan's books. He looked at Marcus before he nodded, leaning down to help Dan pick up his books. "Hey, you okay?" He asked, handing Dan his books with a caring look.

Dan took his books from him. "I'm fine. You should probably learn how to control your ape of a friend though." He says in an annoyed tone and walks away.

Phil chuckled and walked to his locker, grabbing the stuff he needed for his English class. They were starting an essay today and Phil found himself worrying about it, as he set his stuff down on his desk, playing with the string of his hoodie as he quickly pulled out his phone to text Chris.

"Essay right now, prep me?" He sent before he hid his phone in his pocket, needing Chris's words of advice before he did it.

Dan had study hall this period which he usually spent in the library. He walked in, going to his usual spot in the back and sitting down, putting his headphones in and beginning to read.

"Just focus on your writing, don't focus about anything else. You can do this. Go for it tiger!" Phil smiled at Chris's text and put his phone in his pocket when class started. 

The teacher began lecturing them about the rules of the essay and what it was about and Phil tried desperately to focus, but he could only focus on how he could get Dan to fall for him.

Eventually the bell rang and Dan sighed, time for athletics. He stood up, putting his book back and started walking towards the locker room.

Phil had science next period and he was relieved when the teacher said they could finish up their essay at home. He hadn't been able to focus and he hated how such a simple dare could make him worried and irritated. He walked to his next class grumpily, sitting in his seat as he just wished lunch would come already.


	5. 5

*time skip* 

Dan walked quickly from the locker room to the lunchroom, eager to eat. And he hadn't seen PJ all day, he was still feeling pretty crappy. He was in a bad mood.

Phil sat down next to his friends and Marcus grinned at him. "How's the dare going?" He asked with a knowing look and Phil huffed, ignoring him as he ate. He noticed Dan sitting alone and he stood up from his table, walking over to him shyly. "Hey.." He said awkwardly, his heart pounding in his chest.

Dan glanced up from his phone where he'd been texting PJ. He hadn't came to school today because he was sick. "Uh.. hi?"

Phil rubbed the back of his neck. Fuck this was hard. "I um.. I.." He fought for the right words, letting out a nervous breath before he continued. "Can I sit here..?"

Dan shrugged. "Sure, I mean. If you want."

Phil smiled at him and sat down across from him, playing with his fingers awkwardly. "Where's PJ?" He asked kindly, his heart still thumping against his chest. 

This wasn't like Phil. Usually flirting was easy for him but Dan was different and Phil wasn't sure how to talk to him.

Dan sighed sadly, looking at his phone. "He's sick. Couldn't come today." He said and glanced at Phil. "I was thinking of taking him soup but I don't have a car or money for the soup." He chuckled a bit and glanced down at his phone, checking to see if PJ had answered. He hadn't.

"I could help.." Phil offered, pulling out a 5 dollar bill he had in his pocket and handing it to Dan. Why was he giving up his money for him? He didn't know, but he felt bad and wanted to help. "I could maybe drive you," he said, smiling at him softly.

Dan glanced up. "No. That's fine. I don't need your charity. Thank you though." He says and stands up, ready to leave the table.

Phil bit his lip, wanting to say something but not knowing what. He let Dan leave as he sighed, walking back to his other table, tucking his money in his pocket. "Did you bribe him?" Alfie asked quietly with a laugh and Phil shook his head, a bit grumpy at Dan's rejection. Maybe this was gonna be harder than it seemed.

Dan walked out of the lunchroom, leaving the school. He walked home, coming inside seeing his mom getting ready for work. "Oh honey. You're home early." She says, not caring that he was skipping. "Yeah. Hey mom. Do we have any soup? PJ is sick and I was gonna take some to him." He says and she smiles. "You're so sweet honey. Uhm.. I don't think we have any here but.. I can pick some up half off at the store, bring it to you during my break. How's that sound?"

Phil ate quietly through the rest of lunch, nobody bothering him. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he picked it up, seeing it was from Chris.

"You okay?" Phil looked up to see Chris looking at him from across the cafeteria. 

"Totally got rejected by Dan," he sent, shrugging his shoulders. 

Chris started texting back and Phil looked down at his phone. 

"Don't give up. He needs someone."

Dan nodded. "Thanks mum." He says and checks the time. "Are you working all night tonight?" He asked and she nodded. "Yes. And your father is working late again. I'm sorry baby. Money's tight right now." Dan nodded. "I get it. I'm not upset." He reassured and she left. He sat down, sighing sadly. "Sometimes I feel really alone." He whispers to himself.

Phil nodded at Chris and tucked his phone away, finishing his food right as the bell rang. He threw his trash away and was confused when he didn't see Dan in math. He stayed grumpy as he didn't bother talking to Chris and did what the teacher told him to.

Dan turned the tv on but there was nothing interesting on. He turned it off and laid on the couch. "Fuck." He whispered, staring at the ceiling. He missed the way things where before. When his parents where home more often and he wasn't so.. alone.

Phil walked through the rest of his school day feeling mad about the rejection even though he was just playing Dan. He hadn't really been rejected before so he figured that's why it stung so bad. He wants giving up though. He wanted the bad boy of the school falling for him.

**

The next day Dan walked into school alone again, PJ was still sick. Seemed he had the flu. Dan sighed, opening his locker and grabbing his books for English.

Phil saw Dan by his locker and he took a deep breath before walking up to him. "Hey.. sorry about yesterday.. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad," he said awkwardly, playing with his sleeves.  When did flirting become so hard? Why was he pausing and stuttering so much? He wanted to scream in frustration; it usually wasn't this hard.

Dan sighed, he seemed to be doing that more often now a days. "No. I'm sorry. I was just in a shitty mood. Thank you for trying to help."

Phil didn't know what to do as he stood around. They stood for a moment in silence before Phil nodded, coughing awkwardly. "Have to get to class," he said quietly before he was carrying his stuff to his first period class, his heart beat in his throat as he looked back at him.

Dan nodded and walked away, was him saying something slightly nice really that shocking for Phil? He chuckled a bit, walking to English.

Phil sat down in his seat as he panicked slightly, glad when Chris sat next to him. "Why is flirting with him so hard?" He asked him quietly, his nerves still on fire. 

Chris giggled out and shrugged. "I don't know you tell me."

Phil let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. "He's different than anyone I talk to. I can't just compliment his eyes and say he's amazing."

Dan walked to his seat, rolling his eyes a bit when Cat sat next to him. "Hey Dan. How've you been?" She asked and he turned to look at her. "Since you asked yesterday? Pretty good."

"Calm down Phil, panicking will make it harder. Just act natural around him. Be yourself," Chris said, glad they sat in the back.

Phil let out a groan and covered his face. "I can't! I get nervous and fidgety and don't know what to say."

Chris patted his head and shushed him. "Just act like he's me." 

Phil snorted out, "So shove him and tell him all of my problems?"

It seemed like the class flew by. Maybe Dan was just worried about PJ because the next thing he knew he was leaving the locker room to eat lunch.

Phil talked Chris's ears off and didn't blame him when Chris told him to shut up and calm down.

"I know i know. I'm sorry," he said apologetically. "I'll see you later," he said to Chris as he made his way to his table, throwing himself down in his seat and groaning. "I hate english," he lied, his eyes finding Dan.

Dan didn't get lunch or a drink, not able to afford it. He sat down alone, pulling a book out of his bag and beginning to read.

Phil saw Dan read as he looked away, listening to his friends gossip about a girl who had apparently asked out 3 guys in one day. Phil stayed silent most of the time until Alfie noticed his quietness. 

"What's up with you Phil?" Phil looked up from his hands and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Just didn't get much sleep," he lied, standing up from his seat. "I'll be back," he said, just needing to get away from all the socialization.

Dan sighed deeply, flipping the page. He felt like someone was watching him but that wasn't new. People watched him all the time. Talked about him all the time. He was the freak of the school after all. He kept reading, acting like he didn't notice.

Phil walked to the vending machines, pulling out a dollar to buy a candy bar, needing some kind of energy to help him get through the day.

He walked back to his seat and sat down again, biting into it as he found himself watching Dan again. He felt a bit weird stating at him, and he forced his eyes away again, pulling out his phone.

Dan finished the chapter, setting his book down. He put it back in his bag and stood up. "Fuck I can't do this." He mummers, walking towards the door, having to pass Phil's table before he got there.

Phil found himself watching Dan pass and Marcus kicked Phil harshly at the same time, causing him to yelp out.

Dan heard the sound, turning his head on instinct. He kept walking, leaving the lunchroom. If he was going to make it through the rest of the day he needed a smoke.

Phil looked at Marcus quickly. "What was that for?!" He asked as he held his bruised leg.

"You need to make your move! Before that PJ guy comes back," Marcus said lowly. 

Phil sat stunned. "You think it's easy?" He asked scoffing. "He's different than everyone else."

Dan walked out, behind the library where he and PJ usually went. He pulled out a joint, lighting it quickly and taking a drag. He sighed when the relief flooded him almost immediately.

Marcus rolled his eyes and continued talking to Zoe about something. 

Phil grabbed his backpack and candy bar trash. He didn't say anything as he walked out of the cafeteria to find Dan.


	6. 6

Dan was sat alone, "Nothing new about that." He mumbled and sighed. "Fucking hell. I'm talking to myself." He laughed a bit and took another hit from the joint.

Phil searched around for Dan for awhile until he saw smoke, following it to find Dan seated behind the library. When he stood looking at him he realized he had no idea what to say. Stay calm. Act natural.

"Sorry this probably looks really weird. I um.. You looked frustrated I thought maybe.. I don't know," he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Can I?" He asked, starting to sit beside him.

Dan glanced up, startled. He saw Phil gesturing to sit beside him and he nodded. They were quiet for a moment before Dan spoke. "Ever smoked weed?"

Phil shook his head and leaned his back against the building, inhaling the scent of Dan's smoke. It didn't smell too bad, and he actually kind of enjoyed it. It seemed to calm him a bit. He looked at Dan and watched him smoke, staying quiet as he just watched him.

"Wanna try it?" He asked, offering the joint to Phil.

Phil was hesitant on it, but he took it anyway, inhaling it and exhaling it when it burnt his throat. The feeling was new and almost scary as he watched the smoke come out of his mouth. "Never thought I'd be doing this," he admitted, watching some of his words come out with smoke.

Dan laughed. "Watch this." He said, taking the joint back and inhaling some before opening his mouth and letting this smoke out in rings.

Phil watched with a smile as Dan did a trick. "How the hell did you do that?" He asked with a grin as he ran his finger through one of the smoke rings.

Dan laughed and inhaled again, this time holding the smoke in and exhaling through his nose, making him look slightly like a dragon.

Phil laughed lightly and smiled after as Dan did different tricks and stuff with the smoke. "That's amazing," he said with a warm smile. "Can i?" He asked, motioning at Dan's joint.

Dan nodded, handing it back. "Never thought I'd be getting high with Phil Lester." He chuckled.

Phil smiled and inhaled the smoke again, closing his eyes as he exhaled it. "I don't wanna go back to class," he admitted after he let out all of the smoke in his throat. He leaned his head against the wall behind him as he opened his eyes again and locked eyes with Dan.

Dan laughed a bit, throwing his heat back. "Then don't. It's our last class anyways. Who cares?"

Phil nodded and took another hit, handing it back to Dan as he blew the smoke out. "I fucking hate school," he said quietly as he ran his fingers over the grass around him.

Dan chuckled, taking a drag and then blowing it out. "That's something we have in common."

"We might have more in common," Phil said as he looked over at him, watching his lips wrap around the joint as he inhaled it and watching how the smoke came out of his mouth gently. Almost soothingly.

Dan laughed, nodding a bit. "Have you ever heard of shotgunning?" He asked after a few minutes.  
Phil shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest as the bell rang. He couldn't care less about going to class as he was sat feeling at ease next to Dan.

Dan scooted closer a bit. "Me and PJ do it all the time, come here." He didn't know why this seemed like a good idea. He was probably just high.

Phil turned towards him as he looked at him, a bit curious at what Dan was about to show him.

Dan brought the joint to his lips, inhaling deeply before leaning over and pressing his lips to Phil's, not kissing him, but blowing the smoke into his mouth and pulling away.

Phils eyelashes fluttered shut as Dan pressed his lips to his. He could feel Dan and taste him as he blew smoke into his mouth.

He exhaled the smoke as he opened his eyes slowly to look at Dan. "That was.. awesome," he said shyly, his head clouded and his heart beat speeding up a bit in his chest.

Dan laughed, moving back to where he was originally sitting. "I think you're just high."

"Maybe. But I enjoyed it," Phil said, closing his eyes again as he licked over his lips, tasting Dan and the smoke mixed into one. 

"Can we do that again?" Phil asked with a smile, wanting to forget all of his worries.

Dan laughed again, scooting back over and handing Phil the joint, "You try it this time, Lester."

Phil nodded as he pressed it to the lips, inhaling smoke deeply and closing his eyes as he cupped Dan's cheek in his palm and pressed their lips together, gently releasing the smoke into his mouth and pulling away slowly.

Dan closed his eyes, opening them as Phil pulled away and smiling, blowing the smoke back out. He took the joint back from Phil and put it out on the ground below them. "Schools about to be out." He said, moving towards his bag and picking it up.

Phil nodded as he stood up, his breathing soft and smooth as he felt like he was in a dream. He giggled as he touched his lips. "I'll see you around," he said softly before he was leaving to find Chris.

Dan nodded, watching him leave. He bit his lip softly. "Did that actually just happen?" He asked himself, shocked. He thought maybe he just made a new friend.

Phil found Chris in the halls and he laughed lightly when he saw him. "Can you drive me home?" He asked softly, his head fuzzy and his eyes drooping. 

Chris looked at him oddly before realization hit him. "Oh my god, are you high?" He asked quietly and Phil nodded, smiling widely. 

"Dan's nice," he said, leaning his head against his locker. 

Chris shook his head, "I can't believe you," he said, before he was leading him to Phils car to drive him home.

Dan was walking towards PJ's house, determined to see him whether he was sick or not. Plus Dan had the can of soup for him in his bag. He hated walking though and he was stumbling a bit.

As Chris drove Phil home, Phil was playing with his lips. "We kissed," he said quietly as he looked at Chris. "He blew smoke into my mouth and i felt his lips."

He felt loopy but he loved the feeling. He felt relaxed and okay. 

Chris stared at him in awe. "You guys shotgunned?" He asked, and Phil nodded in reply. 

"Oh god Phil what have you gotten yourself into?"

Dan finally made it to PJ's, knocking on the door and his mom answering. "Oh Dan honey. It's nice to see you. I was just about to leave for work. PJ is in his room."

Chris dropped Phil off and Phil waved goodbye giggling. He could barely feel his legs as he walked inside, stumbling a bit as he walked up his stairs and locked his door before he collapsed on his bed, letting out a happy sigh. 

He wanted more. He wanted Dan. He lied on his back as he ran his fingertips over his lips again, a soft smile creeping on his face.

Dan walked to PJ's room. "Hey. I brought you soup." He says, sitting on the bed next to him. "Also I skipped math two days in a row and got high with Phil Lester behind the library."

Phil fell asleep as be sighed happily again and snuggled into his blanket, feeling smoke and happiness all over him.

PJ gasped. "Wait what?" He asked and Dan laughed. "Yeah. I don't know how that happened either. He's kind of been like actually nice to me the last couple of days."

Phil slept feeling at ease, which he hadn't done in a long time as he wanted more, wanted to spend forever just feeling at ease like this.

Dan talked to PJ for a while before he walked downstairs, fixing the soup for PJ. He walked back upstairs. "You need to get better soon because school sucks without you."

Phil heard his parents come home and stirred awake, burying himself under his blanket as he groaned, knowing he'd have to shower to get rid of the weed smell on him. 

Phil waited until there was no noise before he slid out of bed and into the bathroom, locking the door as he looked into the mirror, seeing his red eyes and tired expression. He began undressing as he started the water, wondering if he would ever get a chance to do that with Dan again.

Dan eventually left PJ's house, heading towards his own. It was times like these he wished he could afford his own car. He lived all the way across town from PJ. He sighed and started walking, knowing it would take him a while to get home.

Phil ran his hands over his body and giggled when it felt different than usual. He began washing his body as he thought of what it would be like being friends with Dan. He could still somehow feel his lips against his as his lips tingled some. He hadn't kissed someone in years and the feeling was warm and welcoming. He began washing his hair as well as he closed his eyes and let his mind wander back to how good Dan looked when he was smoking the joint.

Dan made it home, walking in and closing the door. He saw a note from his mom. She was supposed to have the day off but she got called in and they needed the money so she didn't say no. Dan frowned. He understood why his parents worked so much.. he really did. He just wished it wasn't so hard on them.

Phil finished washing and he stepped out of the shower, making his way to his room and locking his door. He didn't get dressed as he set his towel on the floor and crawled into bed, burying himself under the blanket again as he fell asleep almost instantly. The day had started out scary and nervewrecking but had all turned out okay.


	7. 7

The next day Dan got to school a bit early again, walking to his locker. He looked around for PJ, hoping he was feeling better.

Phil got up earlier than he usually did since he had gone to bed pretty early as he yawned and got up, throwing on a collared shirt and jeans and finished getting ready before he was walking out of the door before his parents could yell at him to get up. He hummed softly as he walked to his car. The previous day hadn't been as faded as he thought it'd be so maybe he wasnt as high as he thought. He got into the car, not seeing a text from Chris and humming to the radio as he made his way to school.

Dan didn't see PJ anywhere and he sighed, frowning a bit. He decided to waste time before class, he still had about 45 minutes until class started. He sat down on the floor in front of his locker, pulling his phone out.

Phil sat in his car as he hummed a song on the radio, letting out a tired yawn as he realized he'd have to make up an excuse of why he slipped math. He turned his car off and got out before locking it, making his way to school and wondering if Chris was there already.

Dan looked around, watching people arrive. He wanted to text PJ but knew if he was still sick he wasn't awake yet. He sighed sadly, pulling his book out of his bag and starting to read the new chapter he was on.

Phil made it into the school and saw Dan sitting on the floor by his locker, debating whether or not to say anything to him. He seemed very into his book and Phil didn't want to bother him as he walked past him and made his way to his locker, pulling out his phone. 

"Where  are you?" Phil sent to Chris, looking around to see if any of his friends were around, not seeing them.

Dan looked up as Phil passed, half expecting him to say something. He frowned slightly when he didn't. 'I don't know why you're upset.' He thought to himself. 'It's not like you're friends.'

Phil leaned back on his locker as he waited for Chris to reply. "Walking right now." Chris replied and Phil grinned, looking over to see Dan looking at him as he gave him a warm smile.

Dan blushed a bit, waving, and going back to his reading.

Phil found himself smiling wider when a pink colored ran over Dan's cheeks. He never took Dan as the blushing type. He was startled as Chris came up behind him and scared him playfully.

"Jesus Chris are you trying to kill me?" He asked with a grin as he shoved him lightly. 

"You have so much to tell me. If you even remember it," Chris said, crossing his arms and wiggling his eyebrows at Phil and Phil smiled widely, blushing slightly. "It was amazing.." Phil said, almost breathlessly.

Dan glanced up a bit, hearing Phil do that squeal he does when he gets scared. He looked back down to his book, trying to concentrate.

"Spill the beans," Chris said, wanting to know more. 

"Okay okay.. so.. it started out because I saw him getting frustrated and so I followed him and he was smoking and he offered me some and it was amazing," Phil said, smiling widely. "And then he blew smoke in my mouth and I did the same to him and I felt his lips."

Dan dogeared his page, putting his book in his bag. He stood up and started walking towards the bathroom.

Phil saw Dan walk past him as he watched him. "Fuck Chris, I think this is getting deeper," he said nervously, frowning. 

He hadn't crushed on anyone in forever and this is the closest he had ever felt to being able to call it a crush. 

Chris's eyes grew and his mouth hung open. "You like Dan?" He said quietly and Phil shrugged his shoulders, looking down at his sleeves.

Dan walked into the bathroom, walking in the stall. He sat down and opened his bag, looking in for something. Anything. He couldn't get high right now, fuck it was only 7:30 in the morning. But he needed a distraction. Fuck he felt alone.

Chris nodded and patted him on the head. "It's okay. Everyone gets crushes.. just don't tell Marcus. Or any of them. Or else it'll be all around school in a period."

Phil nodded and gulped down the lump in his throat. "I want to do it again," he admitted as he lied his head on his locker.

Chris shook his head, frowning. "That's how addictions start Phil."

Dan sighed and walked out of the stall. He looked in the mirror and then walked out of the bathroom. He slightly wanted to talk to Phil. Why the fuck did he want to talk to Phil?

Phil found himself watching Dan again as he walked out of the bathroom, his heart speeding up a bit just by looking at him and he turned back to Chris. "Fuck it's a crush," he admitted in a whisper as he groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "This isn't good."

Dan walked passed Phil, smiling at him and waving a bit before he walked back to his locker, opening it and grabbing his English notebooks.

Phil smiled back and looked at Chris with a blush. Chris smiled at him and nodded, "It's a crush," he repeated quietly, getting the stuff he needed for drama. Phil did the same as he bit his lip and walked to Drama, looking back at Dan once before he walked into the classroom.

The day passed quickly, eventually Dan was walking towards the lunchroom. He didn't know why he was going in there, he didn't have money to eat and he'd be sitting alone again.

Phil got lunch before sitting next in his usual spot, ignoring his friends again as he ate quietly. He noticed Dan sitting alone again and he chewed on his lip as he grabbed his backpack and food and walked to his table shyly. "Any room here?" He asked with a soft smile.

Dan looked up, smiling a bit. "Oh hi." He said and laughed. "Yeah. Go ahead." He said shyly and reaching in his bag to pull out his book again.

Phil sat across from him and smiled, pulling out his phone to text Chris, who he knew was watching him. 'I can't breathe' he sent before he put his phone away, stirring his food on his plate but not in the mood to eat.

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked him as he set his chin in his hand.

Dan glanced at Phil's food before looking back at his book. "Uh yeah. A bit." He says, not wanting to explain that couldn't afford to get school lunch.

Phil pushed his food towards him and when Dan tried to object he shook his head. "I'm not hungry," he said, pulling out his phone again to try and hide his blush some.

Dan bit his lip before picking up the sandwich, biting into and moaning a bit. He blushed a bit and glanced at Phil. "Sorry. I'm just really hungry." He says, taking another bite.

Phil giggled and shook his head, pretending to be distracted by something on his phone so he wouldn't make Dan uncomfortable.

Dan seemed really hungry and Phil wondered why he hadnt eaten, but decided not to ask him. 

He set his phone down when Dan was chewing and he started playing with his fingernails. "Thanks for yesterday," he said softly, smiling some.

Dan looked up, swallowing the food. He smiled. "Anytime." He says and takes another bite, he hadn't eaten lunch in two days and the only thing he'd had for dinner for two days was mac and cheese. It was nice to have something different.

Phil would be lying if he said Dan's kindness didn't surprise him. Dan had always been so anti-social and dark and Phil couldn't believe he wasn't like what he seemed at all. He thought about the night of the party and he remembered the fight between him and Marcus. God Marcus had been such an ass. He frowned as he looked over at him, only to find him holding a girl close and Phil shrugged, turning back to Dan. "I..um.. i," he searched for something to say but couldn't find anything, blushing and laughing lightly.

Dan laughed and pushed the tray away, empty. "Cat got your tongue?" He asked sarcastically.

Phil rolled his eyes, but blushed deeper. "I dunno.. I'm not very interesting," he said with a small laugh.

Dan turned his head a bit, laughing. "If you're so uninteresting why are you so popular then?" He asked bluntly.

"I wish I knew," he admitted shyly, looking into Dan's eyes with a smile. "I think it's the hair," he said, grinning.

Dan laughed. "If it was the hair I'd be just as popular as you." He pointed out.

"I guess. Maybe it's the eyes. Although yours are amazing as well so no it can't be that," he said as he pretended to be thinking.

Dan blushed gently, looking down. "My eyes are just brown."

"They were gold in the sun," Phil said gently, blushing as well as he complimented his eyes. "They're pretty," he said, looking down at the lines on his palms.

Dan's blush deepened and he laughed awkwardly, standing up. "I'm gonna go uh.. yeah. Not going to math today."

Phil frowned as he made Dan uncomfortable and he nodded, wishing he could take it back. He stood up as well and nodded at him before he went to sit with Chris, not in the mood to deal with the others.

Dan walked out of the cafeteria. He was shocked and confused and stressed. He went behind the library where he always did this and sat down, pulling a joint out if his bag and lighting it.

Phil sat down next to Chris and groaned. "I embarrassed myself again," he whined, putting his head on the table. 

Chris chuckled at him. "What'd you do?" He asked quietly. 

Phil groaned again and looked up at him. "I called his eyes pretty," he said, causing Chris's eyes to widen as he giggled.

Dan sighed softly, inhaling and exhaling slowly. He loved this. He wasn't addicted, he could stop smoking if it caused him any real problems. But the only bad part about it was that it was illegal. It made him feel good. Helped when he was stressed or anxious. And sex while you're high is more intense. He didn't even know why it was still illegal.

Chris laughed at Phil for a minute straight as Phil whined, shoving him lightly. "Chrisss." 

Chris calmed his laughing as he wiped a tear from his eye. "I can't believe you," he said, giggling slightly and Phil frowned. "He probably hates me," he said, covering his face with his hands. 

Chris shook his head and patted his head, something he did to calm Phil down. "It'll be okay, he doesn't hate you."

Dan took another drag, looking around. He half expected PJ to walk out and smoke with him. Or Phil to.

Phil sighed and looked down at his hands. "I haven't been like this in forever. I forgot how bad rejection feels," he admitted. 

Chris shook his head and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure he didn't reject you, maybe he just got nervous." Phil shook his head and sighed again, burying his head in his arms.

Dan looked around again. Smoking alone didn't feel as good. He like when PJ was around and they made out. He kind of wished Phil would come around again.

"Hey, remember what I told you," Chris said, nudging him with his elbow. "You can't give up. He's just different, but if you like him, you should go for it." 

Phil looked up at him and sat back up, "but what if I annoy him?"

Chris scoffed and rolled his eyes. "It's Dan we're talking about, he'd be eager to have anyone. You should go talk to him." Phil chewed on his lip as he shrugged.

Dan sighed and shook his head. "Why am I thinking about Lester so much? Just because we hung out like twice."

"I'm not good with this stuff Chris. I barely know how to talk to him. All I do is stutter and blush," Phil said quietly. 

Chris sighed loudly and stood up, pulling Phil up with him.

"What are you doing?!" Phil asked as Chris practically dragged him out of his seat. Chris shoved him towards the door with a wink as he went back to his food. 

Phil groaned and tucked his hands into his pocket as he took a couple of breaths before he was walking to behind the library again.


	8. 8

Dan pulled his headphones on, he loved listening to music when he was high. It always seemed like he got the lyrics more when he was high.

Phil was tempted to turn back, to just leave him alone but here he was walking to hang out with some guy that he barely know but seemed to be obsessed with. 

He slowly walked behind the library, smiling smally at him as he sat next to him, a deep blush over his cheeks and his nerves on fire again. He was never like this with anyone. Flirting was always easy and he used to be able to make girls collapse just by smiling at them, so why was he trying so hard with a guy who would never like him?

Dan looked up, smiling widely when he saw Phil. He took one headphone out, the universal sign for 'it's okay to talk to me now.' He bit his lip softly and offered the joint to Phil, not saying a word.

Phil took it and slowly lifted it to his lips,  inhaling deeply before exhaling. He wanted to apologize to him for being so clingy and annoying but he didn't want to make things more awkward so instead he just handed the joint back to him and lifted his knees to his chest, smiling shyly.

Dan smiled, not being able to help it. Friendships didn't come easy for him. But it felt like he and Phil were. He tapped his fingers to the beat of the song and tried to think of something to say.

The silence wasn't very awkward for Phil, if anything it was relieving. He was used to silence from spending so many nights home alone but having Dan by his side was a relaxing silence. One that brought comfort and warmth. He looked over at him with a gentle look, seeing him tapping his fingers on his jeans and he felt his smile grow.

"If I keep skipping math I'm going to fail but I just can't be bothered to go." He said after a while, taking another drag and blowing it in Phil's direction.

Phil smiled as the smoke blew in his face and he nodded. "I don't even care anymore," he said, resting his head on the building behind him.

"Really? Phil Lester doesn't care?" Dan asked, a bit shocked.

"Guess not," Phil said, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm so tired of having to be perfect for everyone," he admitted quietly.

Dan looked over, taking a deep breath. "Hey. You don't have to be perfect for me." He said quietly, reaching over and resting his hand on Phil's leg, trying to be comforting.

Phil bit his lip and nodded, the hand on his leg feeling like it'd burn through his jeans. "I feel like I can actually be myself around you," Phil said as he looked down at his jeans, playing with the side that Dan's hand wasn't on.

Dan laughed a bit, leaving his hand on Phil's leg. "That's because most of your friends are judgmental dickheads. Meanwhile, I don't give a fuck about anything. According to everyone here at least."

"I don't consider them my friends. The only one who's ever been there for me is Chris," Phil said bluntly. "Sure I'm "popular," he said, making air quotations. "But they're never real friends."

Dan nodded. "People think I don't give a shit about anything because I don't give a shit about high school." He sighs, "They don't understand that the things I do care about are bigger then high school. Like is my dad going to come home tonight? Or is my mum working the graveyard shift again? Will we be able to afford to pay rent this month?" He shrugged. "Am I going to be able to eat lunch?"

Phil frowned and rested his hand on Dan's. "People always assume shit. They think that I'm happy because I have friends and good grades, but they never see the struggle i have to go through to keep my grades up. All the time I spend alone and lonely," Phil said quietly. He'd never admitted to someone that he was lonely before, and he'd never really talked about himself in general. "Its never about me."

"I'm lonely too." He says. "I mean.. PJ helps. But he can't always be there. Like now, when he's sick. And my parents work all the time. I understand why they do, to make ends meet. Neither one of them want me to get a job so I can help. No one is ever home but me. And I mean.. besides PJ I really don't have anyone at school."

Phil locked his fingers with Dan's, the action automatic as he didn't really put much thought into it. "I'm here anytime," he said shyly, hearing the bell ring to signal the end of lunch.

Dan smiled. "Thank you." He glanced around. "Uhm.. if you're planning on going to math you might wanna go I was gonna head to my house." He said, slightly hoping Phil might want to hang out more.

"Nah. I need some time off of trying. Can I come?" Phil asked, running his fingers over one of the holes in his jeans, hoping Dan would let him come. He didn't want to go to math or give a fuck anymore. He just wanted to run away from it all.

Dan smiled. "Yeah. Let's go." He said, grabbing his bag. "You've got a car right?" He asked.

"Yeah, ill drive us," Phil said, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He looked over at him as they walked to his car. Funny how things worked out. 2 weeks ago he never would've thought hed be hanging out with Dan Howell, but he was glad he was. He was like an escape from everything. Almost like a safe place. He unlocked his car and slipped inside, apologising for the slight mess as he started it.

Dan gave him directions to his house. It was small compared to others and Dan was slightly embarrassed. He was poor, now Phil knew just how bad. "Sorry about the mess." Dan says as they walk inside.

"I don't mind," Phil said with a smile as Dan led him inside. His house smelt like weed and was a bit messy, but Phil couldn't bring himself to care.

Dan opened his door and looked around shyly. It was a bit messy, not too bad. His room was small, his bed taking up most of the space. He threw his bag down and sat on his bed. "So.. what do you want to do?"

Phil shrugged and sat next to him, putting his bag on the floor. "I haven't really hung out at someone's house before," he admitted. He had hung out at Chris's a lot when he was younger and had been to parties before but it was all long ago.

Dan chuckled. "Well.. I only really hang out with PJ and we just make out a lot when we're high. So.. I don't know either."

Phil laughed and leaned his back against the wall, drumming his fingers against his jeans. "Can I put on music?" He asked as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Sure yeah." Dan said, sitting up and taking his jacket off, throwing it across his room.

"Have you heard of Muse?" Phil asked as he scrolled through his playlist on his phone.

"Uhm duh." He said and laughed. "They're my favorite band."

Phil smiled widely. "Really?! I love them." He put on one of their albums before he pulled his own jacket off, setting it in his lap and humming to one of the songs that came on.

Dan shrugged. "I come home and eat mac and cheese." He looked down at Phil. "Sometimes PJ is here and we.. ya know." He laughs. "And sometimes I just wank." He didn't know why he was being so crude, it wasn't like Phil wanted to know this. But Dan had a blabber mouth when he was high.

Phil blushed when Dan admitted to wanking and he fought off the images that came to mind. "Hm.." He said, thinking of what they could do. What did friends normally do? Phil grinned and looked up at him. "Let's have pillow fights and talk about boys."

Dan laughed loudly, "How about we just get something to eat. I can make some Mac and Cheese. That's kind of all we have though."

"Sure," Phil said with a grin. He stood up and tucked his phone into his waistband so that they could still hear the music as he walked with Dan to the kitchen. He leaned on the counter and watched Dan get everything he needed out.

Dan turned the stove on, cooking the noodles. It wasn't that hard. Just stir until they're soft and ready to be eaten. He heard Super Massive Black Hole start playing and he grinned. "This is probably my favorite song by them." He said, moving his hips to the beat.

"Same," Phil said, grinning as Dan danced to the song. He watched the way Dan's hips moved and found himself staring for too long as he dragged his eyes to the food again. He took his phone out of his pocket and saw a few texts from Chris.

'Did you sneak off with Dan? ;)'

'your parents are gonna freak if your grades drop.' 

'Be careful.'  

Phil sighed as he texted back   
'im fine and yes I'm with Dan.'

Dan leaned forward a bit, turning the stove off. "Foods ready." He grinned and reached up to grab two bowls, his shirt lifting a bit and showing his lower back.

Phil watched the way Dan's shirt rode up and he let out a deep breath, looking away as his teenage hormones reacted to anything Dan did. He tucked his phone into his waistband and let Dan get them their food.

Dan got them both some noodles and handed the bowl to Phil. "We can eat in here, the living room, or my room."

"Let's go to your room. Your bed is comfy," he said with a small smile.

Dan nodded and started walking upstairs, he sat his bowl on his bedside table and looked at Phil. "I'm going to change into some shorts if that's alright with you."

"Yeah doesn't bother me," Phil said, sitting on the bed and leaning against the pillows. He could hear his own heart beat as he looked down at his bowl and began eating.

Dan grinned, "Alright." He kicked off his shoes and reached down, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them off.

Phil found himself watching the way Dan unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and he blushed some as he ate more of his food, looking down at his bowl. God Dan was in his underwear right in front of him and he was trying his hardest not to get affected by it. He hated being a teenage boy, as he could get turned on by the simplest things.

Dan bent down a bit, opening his drawer and pulling out his favorite pair of basketball shorts. He pulled them on and sighed at how comfortable they where.

Phil pulled out his phone as he breathed out slowly, focusing on anything else but Dan in his underwear. When he pulled on shorts Phil relaxed some, but couldn't get the image of Dan unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans right in front of Phil.

Dan crawled on his bed, sitting closer to Phil then earlier. He grabbed his food and started eating.

Phil ate as he set his phone down again, not getting any notifications or texts as usual as he ate. "This is amazing," he admitted after he swallowed down a bite, feeling Dan's arm rub against his as they sat close together.

Dan smiled. "I make it pretty much everyday. I've gotten pretty good at it I guess."

"You should open your own mac n cheese restaurant," Phil said, as he stuffed his mouth more.

Dan laughed. "Thanks." He sat his bowl down sitting up. "God, its fucking hot in here." He complained and took his shirt off, throwing it across the room.

Phil felt his breath quicken as Dan took off his shirt, his eyes running over his chest and stomach and god he had a nice body. He felt his dick twitch as he sat up and pulled his jacket over himself. "Yeah a bit," he said, gulping down the lump in his throat as he looked down at his food again. Fuck Dan was a tease.

Dan glanced over, laughing a bit. "If it's hot why'd you grab your jacket?" He asked, slightly confused.

Phil blushed and just laughed, shrugging his shoulders. He ate more to avoid the question as he felt his cheeks burn and he was sure he was making it obvious.

Dan laughed, leaning over a bit and grabbed his bag. "Wanna smoke some more?" He asked.

"Sure," Phil said, leaning over Dan to set his bowl on the dresser and he grinned when he felt Dan's warm chest against his arm.

Dan grinned, lighting the joint and inhaling deeply. "Fuck yes." He mummers and chuckled, handing it to Phil.

Phil smiled and inhaled it deeply, blowing the smoke into the air as he closed his eyes again, a soft hum leaving his lips as he relaxed, scooting closer to Dan out of habit as he handed it back to him.

Dan closed his eyes, wrapping his lips around the joint and inhaling.

Phil leaned his head back and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew that his hair was probably messy but he couldn't bring himself to care as he watched Dan with a giggle. "Have anymore tricks?"

Dan laughed. "No. Just the three I showed you." He says and looks at Phil. "And shotgunning isn't really a trick. Just something people do."

Phil shrugged and smiled. "It's cool either way."

Dan laughed. "A bit, yeah. A bit sexual as well if you do it with the right person."

"Just makes it better," he said, taking the joint from Dan and breathing it in, exhaling the smoke as he leaned his head back again and watched it stain the air before disappearing.

Dan giggled. "Dilutes it a bit. Sometimes, if you've got old weed, you can't even taste the weed just the persons mouth."

"Sounds good to me," he said chuckling as he felt the joint affecting him, making him calm for the first time that day. He handed it to Dan as he licked over his lips.

Dan laughed and took a hit before leaning in, breathing it into Phil's mouth before pulling away, laughing a bit.

Phil breathed it in and then exhaled it, smiling softly at him. He took the joint from Dan as he breathed it in and did the same thing to him, letting his lips linger a bit longer than last time before he pulled away, exhaling some of the smoke that stayed in his mouth.

Dan licked his lips, giggling a bit. "Now my lips taste like cherries."

"Delicious," Phil said giggling as well, taking another hit as he moaned around it softly. "This is great," he mumbled out, the words coming out with smoke as he handed the joint back to Dan.

Dan laughed. "Everyone thinks I'm crazy for smoking pot." He inhaled more smoke, sighing a bit. "They don't understand how good it makes you feel."

"That's true," he said sighing happily.

"I feel okay again," he said, lying his head on Dan's shoulder.


	9. 9

Dan glanced over, running his hands through Phil's hair, tugging a bit. "Your hair is soft."

Phil smiled and giggled. "Thanks I wash it," he said grinning as he hummed at the feeling of Dan's fingers in his hair.

"It'd be pretty gross if you didn't." He said and laughed, hanging the joint back to Phil. "What are you thinking about?" He asked after a while.

"You," Phil said softly, closing his eyes and letting himself relax in Dan's warmth and comfort.

"What about me?" He asked, his mind clouded over. He was curious.

"How you're different from what everyone thinks. How kind you are. How good you smell," Phil said with a giggle, running his fingers over the material of Dan's shorts gently.

Dan giggled loudly. "I smell good?" He asked, his mouth working faster then his brain. "Wonder if I taste good too."

"I wonder," Phil said, taking his head off of his shoulder to look at him with a small smirk. His head was fuzzy and all he could think about was Dan.

Dan grinned a bit, licking his lips.

Phil wasn't thinking straight as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against Dan's gently, feeling like he'd melt away, a chill going up his spine.

Dan gasped a bit, bringing his hands up to cup Phil's face as he kissed back.

Phil felt like he was going to faint as he kissed Dan. His lips were soft and he tasted better than he smelt. He tasted like weed but he also tasted sweet and warm and welcoming and Phil couldn't get enough.

Dan scooted closer, kissing Phil a bit deeper. It had been a while since he'd kissed anyone but PJ. Phil was very different, his lips where a bit chapped and they tasted like weed and cherries and Dan moaned quietly.

Phil heard Dan moan and that just encouraged him to deepen the kiss more, moving his hand to his hip as he tilted his head and tasted Dan more.

Dan pulled Phil closer, practically on top of him.

Phil moved his hand up to Dan's hair and ran his fingers through it as he kissed him, licking at his bottom lip to ask for permission as he wanted to taste more of him.

Dan opened his mouth, allowing Phil's tongue to slip inside and tangle with his own. He moaned again, tugging on Phil's hair.

Phil slid his tongue into Dan's mouth and groaned deeply. Dan tasted amazing and he was intoxicating, leaving Phil wanting more and more. He trailed his hands to Dan's chest, running his fingers over the warm skin there as he pulled away to breathe for a second. He was practically sitting on Dan and he was panting, looking into his eyes.

Dan looked up at him, panting as well. "Fuck." He ran his hands over Phil's clothed chest.

"The answer is yes. You taste as good as you smell," he said with a grin before he locked his lips with Dan's again, moving to straddle Dan and wondering if it was too much at once. He pulled away to look at him shyly. "Is this okay?"

Dan nodded quickly, moving his hands to Phil's hips. "Y-Yeah. This is great." He leaned up, kissing him again.

Phil leaned down and kissed Dan hotly again, sliding his tongue against his as he moved his hands to Dan's hair, pulling at the soft hair and resisting the urge to grind his hips down.

Dan rubbed circles over Phil's hips, kissing him deeply. He never imagined he would be doing this with Phil Lester. Yet, here he was.

Phil found himself getting lost in Dan's lips as he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it softly again. He pulled away to catch his breath again, a soft smile on his lips. He hadn't been this relaxed and comforted in a very long time and he enjoyed it, adjusting himself on Dan's lap so that he was sitting comfortably.

Dan leaned up, kissing Phil's cheeks and then his lips lightly. Pulling away. "You're a really good kisser."

"I haven't kissed someone in years," he said shyly, running his fingers through Dan's hair.

"Guess you're just a natural then." He laughed.

Phil laughed lightly and played with Dan's hair. "I never thought I'd be here. Not that I'm complaining."

"I didn't think I would be either honestly." He grinned, locking his eyes with Phil's. "I'm enjoying it though."

Phil nodded. "Me too." He leaned down and kissed Dan gently. He couldn't believe he was actually here. Chris was going to freak.

Dan kissed back, jumping slightly when his phone started ringing. "Oh shit. That's probably PJ."

Phil pulled away and moved off his lap with a deep breath, smiling shyly as he sat next to him.

Dan answered the phone, "Hey Peej. You're on speakerphone and Phil Lester is here." He says and the phone goes silent for a second. "Oh. Hi Phil. Dan, I'm not sick anymore and we need to hang out because we haven't really seen each other in two days."

Phil gulped down the lump in his throat as he looked at his hands. That's right. Dan had PJ.  He had gotten so lost in the pleasure that he almost forgot. "I should go..." Phil said quietly, getting up to put his jacket on.

Dan looked up, "Hold on Peej." He said and bit his lip. "Hey, you don't have to leave. We can all hang out."

Dan grinned. "Peej, come over. We're gonna hang out with Phil." He grinned. "Alright cool. On my way."

Phil put his jacket on anyway and sat back on the bed, running his fingers over Dan's blanket as he sat awkwardly. He shouldn't have tried with Dan. Dan was with PJ and he was fine without Phil.


	10. 10

A few minutes later PJ walked into Dan's room without so much as a knock. "I'm here. Your life just got better."

Phil grinned at PJ and nodded at him, running his fingers over the material of his jeans nervously.

PJ smiled and waved at Phil, crawling on the bed and sitting next to Dan. Dan was now in between them. "What are you guys up to?"

"Smoking and hanging out," Phil said, leaving out the making out, not wanting to piss him off.

PJ looked at Dan, his hair was messy and his lips a little swollen. He smirked, he'd seen that look before. "Did you fuck or just make out?" He asked, laughing a bit.

Phil blushed and looked down at his hands, letting Dan answer.

Dan laughed, hitting PJ with a pillow. "We just made out for a bit." He says simply and points at his bowl of mac and cheese. "Want some?"

Phil leaned back and ran his tongue over his lips, the taste of Dan still lingering there.

PJ grinned. "Hell yeah." He picked up the bowl and started eating. 

"I'm gonna get something to drink. Do you either of you want something?" Dan asked.

"Do you have beer?" He asked Dan, wanting to just forget everything and feel at ease.

Dan nodded. "Yeah. I'll get you one." He left the room, heading downstairs to the kitchen.

Phil smiled at him as he turned to PJ. "Feeling better?" He asked, playing with his jeans.

Dan grabbed himself a Pepsi and a beer for Phil, standing downstairs for a few minutes.

Phil talked with PJ for a bit, waiting for Dan to be back as he sat awkwardly. He felt like Dan was cheating on PJ in a way and he didnt want to upset him.

Dan walked back in the room, handing Phil his beer. "We should do something."

Phil opened the drink and raised it to his lips, not wasting any time before he began drinking it down. Two weeks ago he would've been disgusted by beer and smoking but now all he wanted to do was drink and smoke and forget his worries.

PJ shrugged. "We could go to the lake."

Phil let them decide what to do as he admired the burn in his throat, reminding him that he wasn't perfect. Which is exactly what he wanted.

Dan nodded. "You're driving since you're sober." He said, pulling his shirt on. "Come on Phil. We'll show you what real fun is like. Not what your friends think is."

Phil nodded and stood up from the bed, slipping on his shoes and holding the beer in his hands. "I'm ready," he said grinning.

Dan grinned and ran out of the room, towards PJ's car.

Phil followed him laughing and looked back to make sure PJ was following him. He sat in the back in the middle and ran his fingers through his messy hair, looking at himself in the mirror. "Oh god I'm a mess."

Dan laughed. "Who gives a fuck what your hair looks like?"

"Not my hair," he said, rolling his eyes with a smile. "My everything. It looks like we fucked."

Dan shrugged, "Let people think what they want." He rolled down PJ's window and leaned his head out, yelling happily.

Phil laughed and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and letting himself take in where he was. He was about to go god knows where with a guy that he's only known for a week and another guy he hardly knew. He had a beer in his hand and was still a bit high from smoking and he couldn't believe how much had changed in such a short amount of time. His fucks disappeared the minute Dan walked into his life.

"Dan get your ass back in here." PJ says an pulls him back in. "You're like a small child." 

He laughed and Dan grinned. "Fuck off. I'm happy."

Phil felt a bit left out. Not that he should, as he had just had his tongue down Dan's throat but he felt a bit jealous remembering how close Dan and PJ were. He wasn't going to be anything now that PJ was back. He pulled out his phone, texting Chris. 'I forgot about PJ...'

"Be happy inside the car then Dan." He says and Dan laughs. 

"Maybe I'll just crawl back there with Phil. He'd let me have fun." He says and PJ laughs. "Be my guest, just don't get cum on my seat or I will literally murder you."

Phil blushed and laughed lightly. He was surprised that PJ was so okay with him and Dan making out, and being friends in general, but he found himself getting calmer as he brought his beer to his lips and chugged more of it down. "Be my guest," he repeated PJ's words with a grin.

Dan grinned, sticking his tongue out at PJ and unbuckling his seat belt. He crawled to the backseat and sat practically in Phil's lap. "Hi there."

"Well hi," he said, laughing as Dan crawled into the backseat.

Dan laughed, sitting directly on Phil's lap. He was still a bit high. "Peej is a party pooper. I nominate you to be my new best friend." He said, "You know I can HEAR you." PJ says and Dan starts laughing.

Phil laughs loudly and runs his fingers through Dan's hair. "What an honor," he said, smiling widely at him.

Dan grinned. "It is, isn't it?" He leaned in, kissing Phil.

Phil kissed him back gently as he ran his fingers through his hair, enjoying the taste and warmth of Dan.

"You guys need anything, some snacks? A condom?" PJ says in a girly voice and Dan pulls away laughing.

"A condom would be great mum," Phil says jokingly, rolling his eyes at PJ and laughing.

Dan laughed, moving off of Phil's lap and sitting next to him. "PJ, turn the fucking radio on. What the hell?"

Phil missed the warmth of Dan on his lap but smiled anyway as Dan yelled at PJ. He brought his beer to his lips and finished it off, licking his lips after and setting the bottle on the car floor.

"God. You're so fucking bossy." PJ says and turns the radio on. "We're almost there."

Phil laughed again and looked out the window, seeing trees and hills around them. "It's so nice out here," he told Dan over the loud music.

"We come out here when we want to get away." He says and then PJ parks the car. "Come on. We're here." Dan grins and and opens the door, jumping out.

Phil looked out the window once more before he was getting out as well, smiling at PJ as it was truly amazing out here. It was quiet and peaceful except for Dan's loud yelling, causing Phil to laugh lightly.

"We call this place the lake so nobody knows where we actually go." PJ explains to Phil and then runs after Dan who was jumping up and down, running up a small hill.

Phil ran after them, catching up quickly since he took track on weekends. When he got up the hill he stated in amazement as the huge lake surrounded by a forest. "Wow.." He said breathlessly.

Dan grabbed Phil's hand. "Come on!" He yelled and started running towards the lake. He didn't care that it was still slightly too cold to go swimming or the fact that he'd get his clothes wet.

Phil let Dan lead him to the lake as he smiled, looking back at PJ and smiling widely.

Dan stopped at the edge, pulling his shoes and sock off and also his shirt before running in. It was moments like this that made him feel like life was worth living.

Phil shook his head and laughed before he took off his shirt as well, slipping off his shoes and socks and preparing himself for the cold that the lake was sure to bring. He ran in after Dan and shivered violently, gasping at the cold. "Holy shi-aH!"

Dan laughed. "You get used to it." He says and swims towards Phil.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's neck to get warmth from him as he turned towards PJ. "Aren't you coming in?!" He called to him.

PJ laughed. "No. I'm having fun taking photos though!" He called back, snapping another picture of them.

Phil smiled for the picture as he looked at Dan and kissed him gently before dunking him under the water.

Dan came back up, gasping. "You dick!" He yelled, laughing.

Phil laughed loudly and swam away, splashing some of the water into the air and smiling widely. "I haven't gone swimming in forever."

"Why?" Dan asked, swimming towards him again.

"I don't know. I'm usually busy with school and track meets. Don't have the time I guess," Phil told him as he rubbed his hands over his cold arms.

Dan frowned. "You should always make time for things you enjoy."

Phil shrugged. "In my house it's not about things I enjoy. It's about doing well," Phil said sadly.

"Do you even like track?" Dan asked.

"I guess. It keeps me in shape," he said, shrugging again.

"But do you like it?" Dan asked again.

"No," he answered honestly. He had been doing it for years and he was sick of it.

"You should quit then!" PJ calls and Dan nods. "Hey, I'm pretty in shape. And I don't do any sports."

Phil nodded and wrapped his arms around his neck again, looking up at the evening sky. "It's so amazing out here."

"Isn't it?" Dan smiled. "You're the first person me and PJ have told about this place."

Phil smiled at him softly, appreciating the view. "I love it," he said quietly, breathing in the fresh air.

"Me too." He grinned. "Don't tell your friends about it though. Please."

"You know I wouldnt. I don't even think I'm going to talk to them anymore honestly," Phil said frowning. He hadn't been talking to them in days anyway and he felt fine.

Dan was about to ask why when PJ called them. "It's getting kind of late! We should probably go."

Phil nodded and pulled away from Dan to swim out, his body freezing as he stepped out of the water, shivering as he put his shirt back on. It was a light color and when he got it wet it didn't hide anything from under it. "Oh god," he said as he pulled it away from sticking to his body.

Dan laughed, pulling his black shirt back on. "Do you have a curfew?" He asked.

"Nah, they don't check on me," Phil said slipping his shoes on.

"Wanna stay over?" Dan asked, slipping his shoes back on.

"Yeah, sure," Phil said, smiling at him as he walked over to PJ, wiping his wet hands on his shirt.

"Well unlike you two, I actually have a curfew. So we've gotta go!" PJ calls and Dan nods, running towards the car.

Phil nods and follows Dan, slipping into the back seat and running his fingers through his wet hair. He put down his window even though it was cold as he stuck his arm out the side of it.

They made it back to Dan's and Dan got out. "That was fun Peej. You'll be in school tomorrow right?" He asked and PJ nodded. Dan grinned and started walking towards his house.

Phil followed Dan as he pulled his phone out, remembering that he had texted Chris. 'Shit..i did too.' He read the text before he stuck his phone into his pocket, not wanting Dan to see it.


	11. 11

Dan walked in, shivering a bit. "I'm gonna have a shower." He says.

Phil nodded and shivered. "Do you have clothes I can borrow?" He asked, his were soggy and sticking to him.

Dan nodded, walking to his room. He bent over, getting some boxers and a shirt out of his dresser, handing them to Phil.

Phil watched his ass when he bent over, looking away awkwardly and then taking the clothes from him gratefully. He made his way to Dan's room and closed the door so he could get dressed.

Dan followed, knocking lightly though it was his room. "Hey uh.. I know you want to change to get warm but would you like to shower first?"

Phil blushed deeply but smiled, "Yeah sure," he said nervously, opening the door and taking his shirt off, setting it in the corner of the room before he followed Dan to the bathroom.

Dan started the shower, feeling to make sure it was warm before stripping down and stepping in.

Phil couldn't believe he was doing this. He unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them before sliding them down, pulling his boxers down afterwards and slipped inside the shower as well, moaning softly at the warmth.

Dan turned towards him, being respectful and keeping his eyes on Phil's face. He hadn't suggested this to make things sexual with Phil, he'd suggested it because he knew Phil was cold and he didn't want him to stay that way. He wanted him to be warm and comfortable.

Phil smiled and stepped under the water more to wash his body, resisting the urge to look at Dan's body, as much as he wanted to. He looked down to see like 5 different soaps and he giggled. "Is this why you smell so good?" He asked him.

Dan laughed. "I only use that one." He pointed to his. "The rest are my parents."

Phil picked up Dans and put a bit on his hands, handing it to Dan as he began washing his body, a bit embarrassed to be doing it in front of Dan but even if Dan did try anything, it's not like he'd complain. As he washed his body he wondered if that'd happen. He couldn't imagine losing his virginity to Dan Howell.

Dan grabbed the soap from him, beginning to wash his own body. He grinned at the feeling and the smell, forgetting that Phil was there for a moment and letting out a soft sigh, sounding almost like a moan.

Phil bit his lip as Dan moaned softly and he turned his body towards the water, washing off the soap as he tried not to get hard, which was hard since everything was hot, Dan was right there naked and he was letting out soft moans. He gulped down the lump in his throat as his dick twitched with excitement.

Dan opened his eyes, seeing Phil's eyes on him. "Hi there." He repeats his words from earlier, grinning a bit. He was still keeping his eyes only on Phil's face, trying to be respectful.

Phil smiled shyly. "Howdy," he said, finishing washing the soap off of him.

Dan laughed, throwing his head back a bit.

Phil looked at his neck as he threw his head back. He has a really nice neck and he was tempted to mark it up as he dragged his eyes away again shyly. "Which shampoo and conditioner are yours?" He asked.

Dan reached over, grabbing his. "Two in one." He says and smiles, pouring some in his hands, beginning to wash his hair.

Phil smiled and took some as well, washing his hair and switching Dan sides so Dan could be under the water. He began working his fingers through his hair as he tried to control his breathing at seeing the water running down Dan's neck and chest. Don't look down. Don't look down.

Dan finished washing his hair and body, turning towards Phil. "Waters all yours." He says, moving to get out of the shower to give Phil some privacy. He was sure Phil didn't want him to stay.

"You're getting out?" Phil asked, not wanting to be alone again.

Dan turned towards him. "I mean.. unless you want me to stay."

I..um..its your choice," Phil said, blushing slightly. He began washing the soap out of his hair as he closed his eyes and hummed.

Dan chuckled, staying in. He saw Phil's eyes where closed and he walked forward a bit, leaning in and kissing Phil's neck lightly.

Phil gasped slightly at feeling of Dans kiss on his neck and he rested a hand on his shoulder, the feeling new to him as he'd only kissed anyone on the lips and cheek.

Dan walked forward, backing Phil against the wall while he left hot opened mouthed kisses up and down his neck.

Phil let out soft moans as Dan kissed his neck, his fingers finding Dan's hair as he tilted his head to the side to give him more access. God it felt nice, and he felt his dick reacting to the kisses, blushing deeply as he hoped Dan couldn't feel it.

Dan moved his hands to hold Phil's waist as he kissed, slowing adding a bit of teeth to it as well.

"A-ah!" Phil was getting worked up quickly and he tightened his grip on Dan's hair as he began biting at his neck.

Dan grinned a bit, he'd forgotten that Phil was a virgin. They got hard so easily. He pulled away. "Your neck looked really pretty, couldn't help myself."

Phil stared at him breathlessly as his dick was now hard against his stomach and he blushed deeper than before, leaning back against the shower wall as he caught his breath.

Dan laughed. "You okay Phil?" He asked.

Phil shook his head and laughed lightly. "I might need alone time after all," he said shyly, running his fingertips over his neck.

Dan got confused for a moment before glancing down. "Oh.." he says and laughs. "Guess I'll leave you alone to deal with that."

Phil blushed and leaned against the shower wall as he waited for Dan to get out, feeling a bit sheepish as Dan stared at him. He had never let anyone see him naked before and he was a bit nervous he wasn't good enough.

Dan smiled, "Have fun." He grinned and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and walking towards his room.

Phil gulped as he wrapped his hand around himself the minute Dan was out, a low groan leaving his mouth. Fuck Dan was such a tease. He covered his mouth with his free hand as he began working his hand over himself, going a bit quicker than usual as he didn't want to leave Dan waiting. He bit into his palm as he slid his finger over his slit.

Dan walked to his room, dropping the towel. He put boxers on but that was it. He grabbed his phone. "Phil Lester is wanking in my bathroom right now. When did my life get so interesting?" He sent to PJ.

Phil felt moans leave his mouth, muffled by his hand as he got closer, squeezing his eyes shut and imagining that it was Dan's hand instead of his. He leaned his head back as he imagined Dan's lips on his neck while he jerked him off. He bucked up into his fist as the thought drove him crazy. He imagined his hand Dan's hot walls instead, causing him to groan. He imagined holding him down while he fucked him roughly and harshly.

"Tf?" PJ texted back and Dan laughed. "I'll tell you tomorrow." He texted back and leaned back in his bed, listening to see if he could hear him.

Phil imagined holding his thighs down as he thrusted into him, imagined Dan crying out for him. One more swipe over his slit and he was cumming, his hand shaking and a loud moan slipping between the cracks in his fingers as he came harder than he ever had, his cum  covering his palm and fist.

Dan's eyes widened. He heard that. Oh he definitely heard that. He felt his dick twitch with interest and he leaned his head back, thinking of anything else to keep himself from getting hard.

Phil felt his legs give out as he slid down the shower wall, his chest heaving and he went red as he knew Dan heard his moan. He washed his cum off of his hand before he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist, walking to Dan's room with his whole body burning in embarrassment.

Dan looked over as Phil walked in, smirking at him. "Enjoy yourself?"

Phil blushed and nodded, laughing lightly as he grabbed the clothes Dan gave him. "Care if I dress in here?"

Dan raised his eyebrows. "Please, be my guest." He grins.

Phil rolled his eyes as he closed Dan's door before he dropped his towel, stepping into his boxers and tucking himself inside before he was slipping on his shirt as well.

Dan chuckled, looking away and grabbing his phone and going on Instagram.

Phil was a bit disappointed when Dan looked away, but dried his hair off before he put the towel in the corner along with his wet clothes and slid into bed with Dan, sliding under the covers as he hummed peacefully.

Dan smiled, scrolling through Instagram. Most of the people at school didn't even know he was on social media.

Phil lied on his stomach as he rested his head on Dan's pillow, breathing in his scent deeply as he smiled. It had been one hell of a day, but he wasn't complaining. He felt over his neck with his fingertips. "Did you leave a mark?" He asked quietly.

Dan looked over, checking. "No. Would you like for me to?" He joked.

Phil nodded shyly and rolled onto his back.

Dan's eyes widened. "Oh I was.. I was joking. But okay." And he crawled over to Phil, straddling his lap and leaning down to connect his lips to Phil's neck.

Phil leaned his head up to give him more access as he locked his fingers in his hair again, licking over his dry lips as he moaned softlty.

He opened his mouth, licking Phil's neck softly. He wanted to get him worked up before he gave him what he wanted.

Phil gulped and bit his lip as Dan licked his neck, squirming under him. It felt nice and he was worried about getting worked up again.

Dan chuckled softly, biting down on Phil's neck, sucking softly so he'd leave a mark.

Phil let out a low moan as Dan sucked on his neck. He loved this. He loved getting marked and claimed. He ran his fingers down Dan's back as he let out soft sounds.

Dan pulled away, sitting up in Phil's lap. "Your neck is so pretty all marked up." He whispered, running his fingers over it softly.

Phil bit his lip and looked up at him his eyes glossed over and his breathing heavy. "Thank you," he said shyly.

"You're welcome." He says and gets off of his lap, laying next to him again.

Phil ran his fingers over his neck and smiled softly, rolling onto his stomach again and realizing how tired he was in the warmth of Dan.

Dan shut his eyes, not looking forward to school in the morning but also excited to see how everyone would react to Phil wearing his clothes.

Phil snuggled into Dan's side as he fell asleep, letting his worries fade away in Dan's warmth and comfort.


	12. 12

Dan woke up the next morning, warmer then he usually was. He opened his eyes and saw Phil. "Fuck." He checked the time. "Phil, we've gotta get up for school."

Phil groaned but cracked his eyes open, seeing Dan and smiling softly. He yawned and rolled onto his back as he slowly sat up, used to waking up quickly because of his parents. He stretched his arms out as he watched Dan get up.

Dan walked to his closet, where he kept his clothes for school. He grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and  his attack on titan sweater. He turned to Phil. "Pick whatever you want."

Phil smiled as he stood up and looked into Dan's closet, picking out another pair of black skinny jeans he had, and his black and white star t-shirt he saw Dan wearing often. He looked at himself in the mirror when he was done getting dressed and laughed lightly. "I look like you."

Dan chuckled. "Yeah. And don't think for a second that no one will notice." He laughed. "Everyone's going to notice."

Phil shrugged his shoulders and grabbed one of Dan's hoodies. "Good," he said before he slipped it on, running his fingers through his hair to try and fix it some.

Dan laughed, "Alright. I've got an extra toothbrush you can use, it's in the package." He said, pointing towards his bedside table.

"Thanks," Phil said, grabbing the toothbrush and walking into the bathroom, brushing his teeth as he looked at the mark on his neck with a grin. He finished brushing his teeth and washed his mouth out before he slipped on his shoes, sitting down on the bed as he waited for Dan to be ready.

Dan walked out of the bathroom, pulling on his shoes. "We're running a little late but you've got a car so it's okay."

Phil nodded, slipping his backpack over his shoulder as he grabbed his car key out from it, also grabbing his phone and tucking it in his pocket.

They made it to school and Dan got nervous. "Fuck. Everyone knows your car." He said quietly. Phil was popular. Phil was pretty much the most popular guy in school. Everyone knew his car. Everyone was going to be staring when Dan stepped out of it.

"Hey, it's okay," Phil said gently, noticing Dan's nerves. He got out with a grin as some people looked at him oddly. He smiled at them and waved.

Dan took a deep breath before stepping out of the car as well, trying to act like he didn't notice everyone's shocked expressions.

Phil smiled at him softly as he locked his car, walking with Dan up to the school, several people saying hi and good morning to him, all looking at him oddly.

Phil smiled at him softly as he locked his car, walking with Dan up to the school, several people saying hi and good morning to him, all looking at him oddly.

There wasn't really anything weird about what was going on. Phil didn't have his arm around him and they weren't holding hands. They where just walking together. But it seemed like the entire school found this unbelievable. Dan wanted to find PJ.

Phil noticed Dan's uneasiness and frowned. Did he not want to be seen with Phil? Phil bit the inside of his cheek as he walked to his locker quietly, getting his drama stuff out. He saw Chris and he smiled widely at him, motioning him over.

Dan saw PJ and almost sighed with relief. He needed to talk to someone. He couldn't exactly talk about Phil with Phil. "I'm gonna go talk to PJ." He says and walks towards PJ. "Bathroom. Now."

Phil nodded and laughed at Chris's confused and surprised look. His eyes drifted to the hickey on Phils neck and his mouth dropped.

"Did you guys..?!" Phil shook his head quickly, giggling.

"No no he just marked me up," he said shyly, blushing and leaning against his locker.

"Tell me everything!" Chris demanded, making Phil laugh again as he started explaining the day.

Dan walked in the bathroom. "What the fuck am I going to do?" He asked and PJ shrugged. 

"I mean.. what happened?" He asked and Dan sighed. 

"We just fucking took a shower together and I gave him a hickey. But that's not what I'm talking about." He looked at PJ. "Peej, we walked into school together and everyone's mouths dropped.. everyone's eyes were on me and just.. I'm not used to that. Phil might be but I'm not and I just.."

Chris stared at him stunned. "Jesus fucking Christ Phil! In one night?!"

Phil shrugged, laughing. Chris ran his fingers through his hair in awe. "What about PJ?" He asked, confused.

Phil shrugged again, biting on his lip. "He was okay with it."

PJ put his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Hey, it's alright." He tried comforting Dan. "If it makes you that uncomfortable, maybe you shouldn't hang out with him."

Phil leaned against his locker as he smiled at all the familiar faces in the hallway. "I don't know Chris.. I just had a really good time, but I'm losing my care. My grades are dropping, I didn't go home last night.." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I can't do that." Dan says and sighs. "He's helping me. Do you know how much I smoked yesterday? Two joints. That's it."

Chris frowned and leaned against his locker as well. "I know Dan makes you happy.. but you can't let him change your plans for the future. You wanted to go to College and do well."

Phil sighed and slammed his locker shut. "I'm so tired of doing what my parents want. I don't care anymore honestly. I want to just feel happy and at ease with Dan and not have to worry about my fucking future," Phil said sadly, frowning deeply. Then Chris hugged him, something he hadn't done in years.

PJ pursed his lips a bit. "Then keep hanging out with him. And don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Since when have you cared anyways?"

Phil sighed sadly into Chris's shoulder and pulled away. "I just dont know anymore. I wish peace came easily," Phil said, as the first bell rang. "C'mon let's go to class," he told Chris sadly, tucking the stuff he would need for drama under his arm and ignoring the stares he got in the halls.

The day passed quickly. Even when Dan wasn't with Phil, which was most of the day as they only had one class together, people stared at him. He sighed with relief when the bell rang for lunch and he ran to the cafeteria, seeing PJ in his usual spot.

Phil decided not to go to his table as he and Chris walked out to one of the grassy areas of the school. Phil lied down and looked up at the sky, confused and upset. "Am I really giving up my future for someone I barely know?" He thought aloud, and Chris said nothing in response.

"I fucking missed you." He said and PJ laughed. "Where's Phil?" He asked, glancing at his usual lunch table.

"Fuck if I know. I haven't seen him all day. The only class we have together is math."

Phil sighed and closed his eyes, wanting to get high with Dan and forget everything, the thought causing him to frown. "What am I going to do?" He asked Chris, looking up at him sadly. 

Chris bit his lip and thought for a moment. "I think that you need to do what you think is best for you. If you can get high and drink but still keep your grades in check and get into college then you'll be okay."

PJ nodded. "You're going today right? You've skipped the passed couple of days." He chuckled. "Which is crazy to me because any other class you could skip as much as you want and still pass. But you know math is the subject you struggle with." 

Dan nodded. "Yeah. I know. I'm going today. And I'm going to have a shit ton of homework tonight so can you come over and make sure I don't get high and I actually get shit done?"

Phil sighed and sat up. "I skipped for him.. I snuck out for him.. I drank and smoked for him... I don't even know what his favorite animal is," Phil said, irritated with himself. 

Chris patted his head, "it'll be okay, we'll figure things out. But you need to go to class today or else your grade is going to drop more," Chris said, pulling chips out of his bag and tossing them at Phil.

PJ nodded. "Yeah. Of course." He said an then the bell rang. "Come on. Let's go to math."

"Thank you Chris," Phil said , pulling him into a quick hug. "I have to get to math, wanna hang out after school?" Phil asked and smiled when he said yeah. Phil walked to math class feeling better and thinking of ways to get his life in order again.

Dan nodded and walked with PJ. They got to the class room, Dan and him sitting in the back like they usually did.

"I have math with you," Chris said, rolling his eyes and laughing and Phil laughed as well, "oh yeah fuck I'm stuck with you," he said with a laugh as they walked to math together. Phil took his spot near the back and Chris sat behind him.

Dan paid close attention the entire time, taking careful notes and thanking the teacher when she handed him his late work.

Phil got his work as well and began on it once he had finished his class work. He tried harder than usual, as he had to raise his slipping grade some. He tucked his papers into his folder when it was almost time to go and got his stuff together, sighing at all the homework he had. He turned to Chris and groaned, "You're helping me on this," he told him.

The bell rang and Dan stood up, walking out of the room towards his locker with PJ. "Ready to help me with math all night?" He asked and PJ laughed, nodding.

Phil slung his backpack over his shoulder as he walked out of math with Chris. "I hope my parents didn't notice I was gone or I'm dead. Literally," Phil said, grabbing his bag from his locker, and putting away the books he didn't need. Chris chuckled and shrugged. "I'll pray for you."

They walked to Chris's car and Dan got in. "I can't work if we're cramped in your room though. Can we work on your roof?"

When Phil got home he didn't see his parents and he didn't see a note from them and he was relieved when he saw they didn't notice. He led Chris up to his room and he immediately got his math homework out, sitting next to Chris on the bed as they began working on it together.

They where sat on PJ's roof, working on his three missed assignments. Dan groaned. "Fuck math."

Phil shoved Chris as he made a dirty joke about one of the problems and he groaned, "You're so immature," he said chuckling. "I just realized I don't have Dan's number," Phil said surprised. "Hey text PJ and get Dan's number for me," he told Chris as he worked on one of the last problems.

PJ's phone lit up and he checked it, frowning a bit. "Uhm. Chris just texted me. Apparently Phil wants your number."

"You guys practically fucked but you don't have his number," Chris said laughing. 

Phil went red and shook his head. "We did not practically fuck! We showered together and he gave me a hickey its not like he gave me a blowjob," Phil said, finishing the last problem and sticking the worksheets into his folder and Chris made a gross face. "Didn't need that visual."

"Text it to him." Dan says, focusing on the problem he was on. PJ nodded and sent it.

Chris gave Phil his number and Phil smiled, putting it in his contacts but not texting him in case he was busy. "I need some coffee. Starbucks?" Phil offered, standing up and stretching out his back. "Hell yeah," Chris said, putting on his jacket as him and Phil locked the front door before they walked to the nearest Starbucks, which was only about 5 minutes away.

Dan finally finished his math and put it away, "Yes. Fucking finally." He says and crawls back into PJ's room.

Phil sat down with Chris at one of the tables as they talked shit on Marcus. "God he was such a dick the night of the party. Poor Dan," Phil said, frowning deeply as he took a sip from his drink. 

Chris nodded in agreement. "He's always been an ass," he said, poking his straw through his drink. "All he cares about is fucking and being popular."

"I'm fucking starving. Let's go to Taco Bell." Dan hesitates, knowing he had no money. "Dan, come on. I'll pay."

"I can't believe I was friends with him," Phil said scoffing. "Was?" Chris questioned, laying his chin in his palm. 

"Was. I'm so tired of him and all of those fake fucks. I don't care if it costs me my popularity," Phil ranted. Chris laughed, "Fake fucks. Nice."

Dan grinned. "Alright." He says and PJ smiled. "It's about time you ate something for dinner that isn't dollar store mac and cheese."

"I just.. I feel like I'd be better hanging off with only you. Or you and Dan. Or Dan and PJ, or something. I just need to get away from the people that don't care about me."

Chris stirred his drink before he looked at Phil seriously. "Are you sure Dan isn't playing with your feelings? He sleeps with a lot of people," Chris said, leaving Phil speechless.

Dan laughed. "That's true. Come on. Let's go get tacos!"

Phil's face dropped as he looked down at his drink. "I..i don't know. It seemed so real," Phil said quietly. Chris made an unsure face and tapped his fingers on the table. "I..." Phil was at a loss of words. Chris had a point, Dan didn't seem like the type to want a relationship or anything.

"Lets go home," Phil said sadly, just wanting to lie down. Chris nodded and patted his head as they made their way back home.

PJ drove them over, Dan singing and looking out of the window. They made it and Dan hopped out, excited.

Phil walked by Chris's side in silence, wondering if what he said could be true. It couldn't be. Could it? When they made it home Phil got dressed for bed and slid into his bed. Once Chris made sure he was asleep, he slipped out of the window of his bedroom and made his way home.


	13. 13

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt with pills

* time skip to a couple months later *

Phil threw himself on his bed with anger as he had yet again got lectured by his parents on "doing something with his life" and "not being good enough." He pulled out his phone and called Dan immediately, wanting nothing more than to escape, and Chris was at his little sister's cheer competition. The phone rang for awhile and he sighed when Dan didn't pick up.

Dan was in his bathroom. Today was a bad day. He'd woken up sad and not been able to get out of bed. He made up some bullshit excuse about being sick to his mom as she was leaving for work and she didn't stop long enough to say anything. Just said she'd call the school. Dan was pacing running his fingers through his hair and muttering. He heard his phone ringing from the other room but he didn't feel like talking to PJ right now so he let it ring. "Fuck!" He yelled punching the wall and pulling his hand away, bruised and bloody. He opened the medicine cabinet and pulled the pills down. Any and all pills he could find.

Phil sat up and began texting him, it was rare for Dan not to answer his calls. Even when he was sleeping he woke up to answer Phil. He texted him, 'Hey, can I come over? My parents are driving me insane.'

Dan bit his lip, thinking. 'Could I actually do this?' He wonders and he finds out quickly that the answer is yes. He opened the bottles, beginning to take them. One after the other. He started to feel dizzy, passing out on the ground and spilling pills everywhere.

Phil was confused when Dan didn't reply. He decided to text PJ. 'Hey, is Dan answering you?' He asked, sitting up on his bed. It wasn't too late, only around 5. 'No I thought he was with you.' Phil gulped down the lump in his throat as he tucked his phone into his pocket, deciding to see if Dan was home and if he was okay. He pulled on his jacket before he began walking to his house.

Phil knocked on the door and when he didn't get a response he knocked a bit harder. When he didn't respond, he opened his door, which was unlocked, so that meant that he wasn't out. "Dan?" Phil called, not hearing him. He started walking to Dan's room and opened the door, stopping in his tracks as he saw Dan passed out on the floor, pills scattered around him. "Fuck!" He said, snapping into reality as he shook him. "Dan? Dan? Wake up," he said, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He checked his breathing to see that he was alive, sighing thankfully. "Fuck Dan, what did you do?" He asked as he picked Dan up, carrying him bridal style as he pulled out his phone, calling an ambulence.

It was dark. Like really fucking dark and Dan was alone. He could hear someone's voice, yelling and they sounded worried. 'Something must be wrong. I hope everyone is okay.' Passed through his head and then he felt hands on him, carrying him. Then more hands, multiple hands everywhere and then nothing. He felt nothing. "He's flatlining! We need to get him to the hospital stat!" Someone yelled.

Phil felt tears in his eyes as he called PJ,  telling him what had happened as the paramedics began working on Dan. "I-i don't know why he did it.. I just came to s-see if he was okay.." Phil said, breaking down when PJ began crying, saying that he was on his way. He felt tears run down his face as he talked to one of the paramedics, who allowed him into the ambulance with Dan while they drove him to the hospital.

Dan woke up slowly, his head hurting. The lights seemed to bright and he grumbled, wanting someone to turn them off. "Fuck..." he mumbled.

"Hi there," Phil said softly, running his fingers through Dan's hair, dried tears making his face feel sticky and gross.

Dan looked at Phil. "Where am I?" He asked, his voice scratchy and rough. "W-What happened?"

Phil rubbed his thumb over his cheek gently. "You're in the hospital," he said softly, not wanting to tell him what happened yet.

Dan looked around, "Did we get in a wreck or something?" He asked.

Phil shook his head, rubbing over the freckles on Dan's cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"My stomach hurts." He says and tried to sit up a bit.

"Stay lying down," Phil said, gently pushing Dan down softly so he'd lay down. "You need to give the medicine some time to go through your system," Phil said, glad that he was awake at least.

Dan was starting to remember slowly. "Did I try to fucking kill myself?"

"Hey, slow and steady," Phil said softly, running his fingers through Dan's hair again. "Yeah you did..."

Dan groaned. "Fuck. Where are my parents? PJ?"

"They're on their way," Phil said, looking down at his hands when he took them out of Dan's hair.

The next moment the door opened and in walked PJ. "Oh you absolute ass!" He shouts and walked over, hugging Dan tightly. "I was so scared."

Phil sat back in his seat to give Dan room to hug PJ. Phil sat in his seat sadly but he was relieved that Dan was alive. Why would he try to kill himself? How could he do that to them? Phil felt tears swell in his eyes and tried his best to fight them off, letting out deep breaths.

Dan sighed shakily, "Peej.." he whispered. "No. Fuck off. I'm mad at you." He says and pulls away. "What the fuck Dan? I was so scared. How could you just--" he sat down next to Phil, crying softly.

Phil ran his hand over PJs arm comfortably. Phil felt tears leave his eyes when he saw PJ break down. He didn't say anything as he looked at his lap, tears streaming down his face and dripping onto his hands.

"I'm sorry." Dan says gently. "I'm so sorry. To both you."

Phil didn't want to leave Dan but he felt himself crying harder and didn't want to make Dan feel worse. He got up and walked to the bathroom as a loud sob fell from his mouth. He shut the bathroom door as he hung his head and cried harder than he ever had.

Dan watched him leave and looked at PJ. "I didn't.. I mean. It was just-- everything crashed down all at once and I couldn't take it."

Phil looked down at his sink as he cried, watching his tears mix with the water as he turned it on. He felt overwhelmed with stress an sadness and he felt like he'd fall apart where he stood. He used the water to wash his face as he tried to calm his breathing. Dan was alive. Dan was okay.

"I know." PJ sighed and grabbed his hand. "Just.. never again alright. You're my best friend. I need you."

Phil's crying calmed down after a bit and he washed his face again before he made his way back to the hospital room. He sat down next to PJ as he looked at his hands again.

Dan reached for Phil's hand. "You found me?"

Phil nodded, locking his fingers with Dans. "You weren't responding and I.." He couldn't bring himself to go on as he let out a shaky breath.

Dan shuddered, tightening his grip on Phil's hand. "I'm so sorry Phil."

Phil pulled Dan into a tight hug as he buried his face into his shoulder. "Please don't do that again," Phil said as he fought back more tears.

Dan shook his head. "I'm sorry. It was just.. everything came crashing down at once. My thoughts where terrible and at that moment... it seemed like the only option."

Phil held him close and kissed his shoulder gently, feeling himself fall apart in Dan's arms. "I'm sorry. Im sorry I wasn't there," Phil said, sniffling back tears.

Dan shook his head. "It's not your fault."

"Fuck I'm sorry," Phil said again, feeling himself shaking from trying not to cry.

"No. Hey." Dan said, pulling away to look him in the eyes. "It is not your fault."

Phil looked him in the eyes and leaned in, kissing him softly, just a reminder that he was there.

Dan kissed back, frowning a bit. He wondered if the doctors would let him go home tonight. He didn't want to stay here.

Phil pulled away slowly, looking down at his hands again. "You'll have to stay in the hospital for a night to make sure the medicine gets through your system. Maybe longer," he told him quietly.

Dan pouted. "I want to go home."

Phil frowned and stuck out his bottom lip to copy Dan's pouting. "Soon. I'll stay with you as long as possible."

Dan nodded. "Alright. Thank you."

Phil was slightly nervous he was annoying Dan as he sat back in his seat and let PJ talk to him instead. He rubbed his face, but it still felt sticky and gross from crying so hard and his nose was still runny. He couldn't believe he had almost lost Dan. It had happened so quick. Out of nowhere. He was scared it'd happen again.

Dan talked to PJ for a bit but then he had to leave. "I talked to your parents. I didn't tell them what was going on though, I know you wouldn't want me to. But uh.. you should Dan."

Phil nodded, agreeing with him. "They'd want to know.." He said softly.

"I know you wouldn't want them to find out from someone else so I didn't tell them but.. this is serious."

Phil nodded, chewing on his bottom lip.

Dan nodded. "I will. As soon as mum has a couple of days off." Dan said, knowing his dad never had a day off so he couldn't wait for both of them.

Phil said goodbye to PJ and he saw him and Dan hug once more before he was walking out of the hospital, needing to get home before his curphew. Phil turned back to Dan with a small smile.

Dan smiled back, eager to change the subject. He wanted to go back to the way things where before.

Phil tried to think of something to say and couldn't find anything and ended up stuttering like when they first met. He blushed and shook his head, laughing.

Dan laughed a bit. "Remember when we weren't even friends?" He asked quietly.

Phil smiled and nodded. "God Marcus was such a dick to you. I remember at the party I wanted to step in but I thought you would beat the shit out of me honestly," he admitted with a soft laugh.

Dan wrinkles his nose. "I don't know why some people are so scared of me. I've never even been in a fight."

"Because you look badass," Phil admitted, laughing.

Dan chuckled. "I wear a lot of black. It's not like I've got tattoos or piercings." He shrugged, which hurt a bit but he didn't let it show on his face. "I just.. some people are too intimidated to even come near me and others want to beat the shit out of me."

Phil nodded. "I don't understand why. You're one of the sweetest people I know," Phil said with a sigh.

Dan looked him in the eye. "What did you think of me before you knew me?"

"I thought you hated everyone. I thought you'd never want to talk to me. I never thought you were a freak though. You seemed normal, just mean," he said looking Dan in the eye. "But I didn't know you.. I didn't know what you were like."

"I thought you were a dick." He admits, laughing a bit. "You hung out with Marcus and all his fucking groupies. And sometimes just the way you talked.."

"Yeah.. maybe I was," Phil admitted, rubbing his hands on his jeans. "I was so convinced that everything in life was going well, until realization came to me."

"Realization in the form of smoking a blunt with a random kid you barely knew?" Dan asked, laughing a bit.

Phil laughed lightly and nodded his head. "Yeah I guess. You were just so different than what everyone thought. It made me realize that maybe life could be different than what I thought it had to be."

Dan nodded. "You were a nice escape. From my home and being lonely and just.. everything. But at the end of the day, I still had to go home."

"Same here. I had so many long lonely nights of questioning who I was and how life was going to be," Phil admitted, thinking about his long lonely past. "But from here on, anytime you need me, I'll be there."


	14. 14

* time skip *

It had been two months since Dan was let out of the hospital. He'd talked to his parents about it and they'd promised to help as much as they could but they just couldn't afford counseling. They still worked as much as possible so they'd be able to buy groceries and afford to stay in their house. Dan was better, slightly. He still had his off days, but Phil was around more often now a days and he knew PJ was just a phone call away.

Phil lied on his back on Dan's bed as he read through cheesy jokes on Tumblr. "Okay okay listen to this one. What do you call a magic owl?" Phil asked, smiling widely.

Dan chuckled, trying to concentrate on his reading but Phil was making that exceedingly difficult. "What?" He asked.

"HOOdini," he said, snorting as he set his phone down next to him before he curled up against his side.  "How do you even read? I lose concentration so easily," Phil said, resting his head on Dan's shoulder.

Dan shrugged. "I enjoy reading. It relaxes me."

Phil kisses his shoulder before he rolled onto his back again. "Yeah but I want attention," Phil said, tucking his hands under his head as he looked at him.

Dan chuckled, dogearing his page before shutting the book and looking at him. "Yes, Phil?"

"Cuddle me?" Phil asked, opening his arms for him with a smile.

Dan smiled, nodding. He sat closer to Phil, letting him wrap his arms around him.

Phil rested with Dan for a few moments before he worked up the nerve to ask him about what he had been thinking about for weeks. "So.. there's a dance coming up soon," Phil started, looking down at Dan's shoulder.

Dan nodded. "Yeah. I know. They've got posters up all over school."

"Are you going?" Phil asks quietly.

Dan paused, slightly confused. "I mean.. I wasn't really planning on it."

"We could um.." He felt a blush appear on his cheeks as he stuttered some, clearing his throat and continuing, "would you like to go with me?" He asks nervously, biting on his bottom lip.

Dan looked up at him, shocked. "You want to take me to a dance?"

Phil blushed and nodded, offering him a small smile.

Dan chuckled, leaning his head against Phil's chest. "Sure. I'd love to go with you."

Phil let out a shaky breath as he smiled widely. "That was so hard to do," he admitted as he hugged Dan close.

Dan laughed. "Why?" He asked.

"Because you're amazing and I didn't know what youd say," Phil said as he ran his fingers through Dan's hair.

Dan blushed deeply. "You could've just asked."

"I tried to like 5 times but I chickened out," Phil admitted shyly.

Dan smiled warmly, kissing Phil on the cheek. "You know I can never say no to you, Phil."

Phil smiled down at him as he ran his fingertips over his shoulder lightly, breathing him in as he offered peace and relaxation. "You give the best cuddles," he said, grinning.

"I believe that's you." Dan says and smiles.

Phil smiled down at him and kissed his head. "I love moments like these. When everything seems okay."

"Me too." He said, leaning in to kiss Phil when his bedroom door opened.

"Oh good. You're both dressed, I was worried for a moment." 

Dan rolled his eyes. "Well Peej, you could try knocking."

Phil laughed lightly. "Hey there," he said awkwardly, a light blush on his cheeks.

PJ laughed. "If I knocked there would be no adventure in life."

"Could've scarred you though," Phil smiled.

"A risk I'm willing to take Lester." He grins. "Alright. Both of you. Get your asses out of bed. We're doing something tonight."

Phil whined and cuddled into Dan. "But we're warmm," he whined, holding Dan tightly so he couldn't get up.

PJ groaned, "Oh my god. You can make out later. I'm bored. You're my friends, therefore it's your job to entertain me."

Phil groaned and sat up, glad he had decided to wear boxers to bed. "What do you have in mind?" He asked as he slipped on his shirt.

"Don't know yet." PJ says and walks out of the room. "So get dressed!" He called, on his way downstairs.

Phil looked at Dan and rolled his eyes, smiling. He got up and threw on a pair of Dan's skinny jeans and the hoodie he had stolen from him.

Dan laughed, getting up as well and putting on his shoes as he'd never gotten undressed. They walked downstairs and PJ was standing by the door. "Come on. Let's go on an adventure."


	15. 15

Phil slipped on his shoes and made sure he had his phone before walking out of the door with them, blowing out air as he watched his breath stain the cold night sky.

They got in PJ's car, turning on the music and driving around town.

Phil rested his head in Dan's laps as he unbuckled his seatbelt, not in the mood to follow the laws as he looked up at him with a soft smile.

Dan laughed, running his hands through Phil's hair. That's all they did. They drove around and made jokes and sang along loudly to music they barely knew the words to. And it was fun.

Phil closed his eyes as he sang along to the music, nearly falling on the car floor when PJ stopped at a red light, a loud laugh slipping through his lips as he gripped Dan's thighs tightly. "Holy fuck," he mumbled out, giggling a bit.

Dan laughed, helping him into a sitting position. "How about you sit like that."

"Where's the fun in that though?" He asked cheekily as he straddled Dan. "This car drive should be learning new ways to sit in a car," Phil said, holding himself up with Dan's shoulders.

Dan grinned. "Sounds fun. I think this is my favorite."

"I agree. We should keep this one," he said, laughing when he heard PJ yell something at them from the front seat. Phil locked his arms around his neck and lied his head on his shoulder as they drove, glad that the streets weren't busy at night and he could mess around all he wanted.

Dan giggled. "Guys come on! I don't want to tricycle you guys." PJ complained.

Phil giggled and shook his head. "Whaaat? At least we're not fucking."

"Only because you guys haven't fucked yet." PJ said and Dan laughed.

"Peej, you're cockblocking me and its so not cool."

"Do you want to challenge me on that?" Phil said grinning and teasingly unbuttoning his jeans and undoing his zipper.

Dan looked down, licking his lips. Honestly, he and Phil hadn't done much. Making out a bit and some over the clothes touching. That's about it. Dan missed it, sex. But he wanted things to be real with Phil. No sleeping with other people. And if that meant waiting for Phil to be ready.. then he'd wait. Didn't mean the sight of Phil undoing his jeans didn't make him hard almost instantly. He couldn't help it. It'd been months since he'd had sex.

Phil felt Dan get hard under him and he gulped, wishing they weren't in PJ's car. He wanted more of Dan, he wanted sex with him, but he was also a virgin and afraid. It's not that he didn't trust Dan, he just didn't know if he was ready yet. He noticed PJ wasn't watching them and he rolled his hips down onto Dan, wanting to give him a bit of friction since he had accidentally made him hard.

Dan's eyes glazed over. He let his head fall back against the seat and he bit his lip, fighting back a moan. This was the most action he'd had in months, besides his own hand and it felt intense. He moved his hands to Phil's hips, tightening his grip and making him move again.

Phil began grinding onto him, not caring anymore that PJ was in the car as he dropped his head and began to roll his hips over the bulge in Dan's jeans, his own dick hardening in his pants at the feeling of Dan under him.

Dan was panting. "Fuck Phil." He tightened his grip even more, certainly leaving bruises. He licked his lips, biting his bottom lip and holding Phil still on top of him as he bucked his hips up.

Phil let Dan control him as he bucked his hips up, causing him to let out a soft moan, rolling his hips onto him as he bucked his hips up. He bit his lip to stop the moans that were trying to slip out as he rolled his hips onto Dan. It felt good, and he wondered what it would feel like to do this naked.

Dan leaned up, seeming to forget were they were. He kissed Phil, wrapping his arms around his waist and bucked his hips up, moaning into Phil's mouth.

Phil moaned back into his mouth as he grinded on him, hearing PJ say something but he was too lost in pleasure to react to it. He slid his tongue into Dan's mouth as he rolled his hips again, resting his hands on Dan's shoulders as he let him buck his hips up onto him.

Dan was panting, completely lost in his own pleasure. He didn't think of anything else. He bit down on Phil's lip, pulling a bit before letting it snap back into place. "Fuck you feel so good on top of me." He moaned quietly.

Phil moaned softly as Dan dirty talked him, leaning his head down to press their lips together as he panted into his mouth. "F-fuck.." Phil mumbled out, running his hands down Dan's chest as he grinded onto him faster, wanting him to lose his self control.

Dan groaned, bucking his hips up faster. Phil cussing always got him going, he seemed too innocent to do that. "Fuck." Dan whispered and gripped Phil's hips harshly. "Fucking grind on me like you mean it." He ordered.

Phil moaned at Dan ordering him around and he sat up, grinding down on him roughly and quickly as he followed Dan's command, gripping onto his shoulders tightly as he leaned his head back. He was so close and at this point he didn't care if he came in his pants, only wanting to pleasure Dan.

Dan groaned, bucking his hips up and feeling his stomach tighten. "F-- oh fuck. Yes Phil. Right there. Right fucking there." He moaned. "Don't you dare fucking stop." He tossed his head back, moaning.

Phil continued his actions as loud moans and whines slipped out of his mouth. He couldn't think straight and everything felt hot and intense as he worked his ass over Dan's cock. "So good," Phil whined out.

"Yes I am fucking good baby." Dan whined a bit. "Can't fucking to get inside of you and show you just how good I am." He moaned and bit his lip harshly, feeling close to cumming.

Phil panted and moaned as Dan's words drove him over the edge, feeling his cum fill the inside of his boxers as he shook on top of Dan and gripped his shoulders tightly. He worked his hips down on Dan through his high, his body going slightly weak from the intense orgasm and he leaned down, whispering "use me," in Dan's ear.

Dan moaned, holding Phil completely still and bucking his hips up roughly until he came, feeling it soak his boxers and pants and "Fuck oh god. That was intense."

Phil nodded and collapsed on top of Dan, muttering an apology to PJ as he blushed deeply at feeling his cum soak his jeans.

"Yeah, guys. Not saying that wasn't hot to witness or anything but can you actually not?" PJ says and Dan chuckled. "Sorry Peej."

Phil blushed and slid off of Dan, sitting sheepishly as he had just came in his pants, made Dan cum, and did it all in front of PJ. He felt embarrassed and sticky as he shifted around in his seat.

Dan pulled Phil close, kissing his cheek. "You can borrow a pair of my pants so your parents don't find out." He whispered in his ear.

Phil nodded and smiled softly at him, laying his head on his shoulder.

PJ started driving towards Dan's house. "This was fun." He says as he lets them out. "Even if you two totally abandoned me to get off in my backseat."

Phil smiled at him awkwardly. "Sorry about that," he said, covering the stain in the front of his jeans with his hands.

PJ rolled his eyes. "I get it. Believe me." He laughed and waved. "See you guys in school tomorrow."

Phil smiled back and walked into Dan's house with him. "Can I crash here? I'm not in the mood to deal with my parents," Phil said as they made their way to Dan's room.

Dan nodded. "Yeah. Not like my parents are home anyways."

Phil nodded, taking off his shirt and stepping out of his cum covered jeans and boxers, making a gross face as he grabbed one of Dan's tissues and cleaned himself off.

Dan laughed, picking them both up and heading to the laundry room. He stripped naked and put his clothes in the wash as well. He walked back upstairs, going to the bathroom for a shower. He knew he needed one.

"Care if I join?" Phil asked, feeling sticky and gross as well and he could use a shower with Dan.

Dan shook shook his head. "No. Come on in." He says, checking to make sure the water was warm enough to step in the shower.

Phil closed the bathroom door before he waited for Dan to step into the shower, getting in after him as he smiled softly at the feeling of the water over him.

Dan stepped under the spray first, sighing at the feeling and smiling when he saw the cum being washed off of him by the water.

"That was amazing," Phil said shyly, not yet over the feeling of Dan's hard cock under him. He wanted it again. He wanted more. He wanted Dan. He didn't know how to tell him he was ready as he leaned against the wall, biting his nails and thinking about what he wanted. He hadn't fingered himself in awhile and Dan would probably have to spend a long time fingering him open before they did anything. He blushed at the thought as he waited for Dan to be done under the water.

Dan moved out of the way, grabbing his shampoo and body wash to begin actually washing himself.

Phil washed all of the cum off of himself as he tried imagining what it would be like to have Dan fucking him. He gulped at the thought as he moved again so Dan could wash his body off. He took the body wash from him as he began washing his own body, a bit more and longer than usual, wanting to smell and look perfect for him.

Dan smiled as he finished, "Showers all yours." He says, moving to exit the shower so Phil would have more room.

Phil let him leave, not wanting his first time to be in a shower. He quickly washed his hair so Dan wouldn't fall asleep while waiting. As he washed it off, his heart pounded roughly against his chest. He stopped the water, and walked to to Dan's room shyly as he prepared for what he was about to try.

** I know that Dan topping is weird to some people but it went along with our story and I personally think we wrote it pretty well, but I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable **


	16. 16

Dan had sat on his bed, a pair of sweats on. His hair was still a bit wet, curling at the ends and pushed up into a quiff. He was wearing reading glasses, reading his book.

Phil walked into Dan's room and shut the door, locking it as he shyly walked over to Dan. He didn't know how to tell him, as he stood for a moment before he carefully got his book from him, folding the page neatly before he dropped his towel and crawled into his lap, staring into his surprised eyes as he let the words fall from his mouth. "I'm ready."

Dan's mouth dropped, "Uh r-ready for what?" He asked, his mouth going dry as felt Phil on top of him for the second time that night. This time Phil was completely naked and Dan felt like he couldn't breathe properly.

"I..im ready for more," he said, blushing slightly as he chewed on his bottom lip.

Dan's eyes dropped to his lips, reaching up and pulling his lip out from between his teeth. "You sure?" He asked.

Phil nodded and leaned forward, kissing him gently to let him know he wanted it.

Dan kissed back, turning them gently so Phil was on his back. He kissed him gently, not wanting to rush anything. This was his first time. He wanted to make it good.

Phil blushed at Dan's gentleness as he ran his fingers through his slighty wet hair and kissed him softly. He couldn't wait to have Dan in him as his body shook slightly at the thought.

Dan leaned up, opening his bedside drawer and grabbing his lube and a condom, wanting to have them both ready.

Phil spread his legs for Dan a bit as he blushed slightly. He had never exposed himself in front of someone and he felt a bit nervous, but this was Dan and he knew that he wanted him.

Dan looked up to make sure he was okay as he put some lube on his fingers, circling his rim before pushing one finger in to the knuckle, holding still knowing that it can be uncomfortable.

Phil moaned softly as Dans finger entered him. "Tight.." he said nervously, knowing that he would probably need a lot of fingering. He felt a bit uncomfortable but he wanted Dan to move. He nodded at him before he leaned his head back, ready to take whatever Dan gave him.

Dan started moving his finger slowly, getting him used to the feeling before pushing in a second finger, scissoring them gently, stretching Phil.

Phil let out a breathy moan as Dan entered a second finger, the stretch feeling good as Dan scissored his fingers inside of him, opening him up for his cock. Phil licked over his lips as he rocked his hips back onto Dan's fingers, wanting to feel him touch his prostate.

Dan glanced up, happy to see that Phil was enjoying himself and not in pain. He added a third finger, twisting them a bit.

Phil arched his back slightly when Dan entered a third finger and twisted them inside of him, a moan leaving his mouth. "That's n-nice," Phil mumbled out, wanting to let Dan know that he was enjoying it. He found Dan's free hand as he connected their fingers, squeezing his hand as he rocked his hips back onto his fingers again, another moan leaving his mouth.

"Yeah? You like that?" Dan asked, twisting his fingers again, thrusting them in and out of him at a steady pace.

Phil nodded and let out a breathy whine when Dan began fingering him, leaning his head to the side and letting soft noises fall from his lips. He looked up at Dan needingly as he grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

Dan kissed back softly. He pulled away, grabbing the condom so he could put it on.

Phil watched him with lust in his eyes. He whined just thinking about what Dan was about to do and he found himself rolling his hips into the air. "Oh god."

Dan chuckled a bit, "Patience baby." He said, opening the condom with his teeth and rolling it on his cock. He put some lube on it as well and leaned down, kissing Phil softly.

Phil kissed back eagerly as he entangled his tongue with Dan's, the feeling reminding him of when they made out for the first time. But this was so much better, as Phil prepared himself for Dan's cock.

Dan wrapped his hand around himself, guiding his dick in slowly, looking up at Phil to make sure he was okay.

Phil leaned his head back as he let out soft whines and whimpers as he was filled up with Dan. It felt a bit uncomfortable but he loved the feeling. He squeezed Dan's hand as he smiled and let out another whine.

Dan moaned softly as he bottomed out. He panted against Phil's neck, trying to hold still as Phil adjusted to the feeling.

"You feel so good," Phil whispered in his ear as he began breathing heavily, wanting Dan to move but knowing he had to let himself adjust first.

Dan moaned quietly, kissing Phil's neck. "S-So do you."

Phil let himself adjust for a few moments and shook his head. "Move please," he said quietly, holding his hand tightly as he leaned his head back more and opened his legs more for Dan.

Dan nodded, pulling his hips back and then snapping them forward again, moaning at the feeling. It'd been a while since he'd had sex. He started moving his hips a bit faster.

Phil let out a loud moan as Dan began thrusting in and out of him. He couldn't stop the moans that left his mouth with every thrust of Dan's hips. It felt so good and he spread his legs open as much as they could go, wanting to take him as deep as possible. Pleasure overcame his body as he unlocked his fingers with Dan's to instead grab the pillows next to his head, his chest heaving.

Dan's stomach flipped. He was having sex. Not just any sex. He was having sex with Phil Lester. He was taking Phil Lester's virginity. He'd never done this before, taken someone's virginity. He groaned quietly, feeling pleasure roll through his body.

"Fuck fuck fuck," Phil had never been much of a cussing person but what Dan was doing to him was driving him insane as he rocked his hips back onto his cock, wanting Dan to go faster and harder, wanting him to ruin him.

Dan groaned, bucking his hips faster. "Fuck Phil." He moaned, leaning down to kiss Phil deeply.

Phil kissed him before he had to pull away to moan loudly as Dan hit his prostate. He felt tears of pleasure fill his eyes as he rocked his hips back onto him quickly. "Please please please," he whined out, moving his hand to grip onto Dan's forearm, needing more and more.

"Oh god." Dan moaned and changed his angle a bit, trying to hit Phil's prostate.

Phil lifted his leg slightly to help Dan reach his prostate again as he rolled his hips onto his cock, his body feeling needy and hot and the feeling was so much better than he ever imagined it. He could feel Dan sliding in and out of him and it drove him crazy, pushing Dan down and straddling him as he began moving his hips again on top of him, angling his thrusts into his own prostate.

Dan gasped, shocked as Phil started riding him. "Oh fuck." He moaned, sitting up and grabbing Phil's ass. He squeezed harshly, bucking his hips up quickly.

Phil leaned his head back and put his hands on Dan's chest as he started riding him, snapping his hips down onto him as he forced Dan's cock into his prostate, loud moans falling from his mouth as he practically screamed on top of him. One last snap of his hips onto Dan's cock and he was cumming, harder and better than he ever had before as his cum covered his chest and his stomach, some dripping onto Dan's stomach as well.

Dan moaned, gripping Phil's hips and holding him down on his cock as he came, making him feel it even if the cum wasn't going inside of him, being stopped by the condom.

Phil felt Dan cum into the condom as he moaned softly, his chest heaving and his vision going white as he came down from his high. He stayed on Dan's cock, wanting to make sure he was done before he got off of him.

Dan finished and rolled the condom off, tying it and sticking it in his bin  before he collapsed back on the bed.  
"Fuck Phil."

Phil smiled softly as he collapsed next to him. "That was... oh my god," Phil said, his body tired and weak but he felt so good.

Dan chuckled. "I can't believe that just happened."

Phil shook his head as he smiled. "Me neither." He turned onto his side to rest his head on Dan's chest, wanting cuddles after the intense sex.

"You're no longer a virgin." Dan says, running his hands over Phil's arms softly. "How's it feel?"

"Fucking great," Phil said, snuggling into Dan's side. "I'm so glad you were my first," he admitted quietly.

Dan giggled. "I'm glad I was too." He admits.

Phil ran his fingers over Dan's chest as he leaned his head up to kiss him softly and slowly.

Dan kissed back happily. He pulled away and laughed. "I love how we took a shower and then immediately turned around and had sex."

Phil laughed and shrugged. "I'm too tired for another," he said as he yawned to prove his point.

"Let's sleep then." He grinned and then chuckled. "Good luck walking around at school tomorrow."

"Oh god," Phil said, giggling. Everyone's going to know when I can't walk properly," he said, laughing lightly.

Dan grinned. "Yeah. Probably." He chuckled. "You'll be fine."

"Not that I'm ashamed of it," Phil admitted with a soft smile. "One of the best times of my life."

"Of course it was." Dan laughed. "It was your first time."

"Yeah but it was with you," Phil said softly, pushing a stray hair out of Dan's face with a smile.

Dan smiled softly. "C'mon. Let's sleep."

Phil smiled and nodded, pulling the blankets over them as he cuddled into Dan, resting his head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. "Goodnight," he mumbled sleepily before he was falling asleep in his arms.


	17. 17

The next morning Dan woke up first, his arms around Phil and completely naked. "Fuck that actually happened." He said quietly and sat up. He checked the time. "Phil, we've gotta get up and get ready for school."

Phil groaned and cuddled up to him more, not wanting to have to go to school today. He was still tired and just wanted to sleep.

Dan laughed a bit. "Come on sleepy head. Time for school. You can tell Chris all about your night."

Phil yawned and blinked his eyes open, rubbing them after as he sat up. He looked down and remembered what had happened last night with a blush and a small smile. He had slept with Dan. He yawned again before he got up and threw on some of Dan's clothes.

Dan stood up as well, stretching and getting dressed. "Come on. Wanna get there early."

Phil threw on one of Dan's hoodies and a pair of skinny jeans before he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair. He wanted to tell Chris but at the same time it felt like personal information and he didn't know if he was ready to tell him yet.

They made it to school holding hands and, just like the first time they walked into school together, everyone was staring. Some people where whispering and Dan had to fight the urge to run away and find comfort in PJ who no one stared at him for hanging out with.

Phil ran his thumb over the top of Dan's hand as they walked. He knew how he felt with crowds and he gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as they walked into the school. Phil continued smiling and saying hello to people like he usually did, ignoring the looks they all gave. He was happy and that's all that mattered.

They made it to Dan's locker and he dropped Phil's hand to open it and grab his books for English.

Phil went to his own locker and pulled out the things he would need for drama as Chris walked up to him. "Are you guys dating yet?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrows at him. Phil sighed and leaned back on his locker. "You know it's complicated.." Chris rolled his eyes, "Seriously what are you guys waiting for? You've been practically dating for months."

PJ walked up, leaning against the locker. "You have the glow." He says and Dan chuckles. "Seriously. Did you guys fuck last night after I dropped you off. Because you have the after sex glow."

Phil sighed as Chris continued ranting and he shrugged, not answering any of his questions. "We're waiting for the right moment. I don't even know if he wants it, okay?" Phil said, huffing afterwards. Chris shrugged and leaned back on a locker. "This years almost over."

Dan looked around, making sure no one was listening and then he nodded. "Fuck seriously?" PJ says and chuckled. "You took Lester's virginity?" He asked and Dan groaned. "Say it louder Peej. I don't think they could hear you across the school."

Phil sighed. "We'll figure it out Chris. If he wants to stay friends, we'll stay friends." When Chris made an unsure look Phil continued on. "I'm fine Chris. Really."

PJ sighed. "Hey, I'm just excited for you alright. Things are finally working out." Dan smiled a bit. "Yeah. I know. It's just.. things are complicated with him."

Chris began ranting about a girl in his English class as Phil played with his nails, pretending to be listening as he thought about what Chris had said. It was true that the year was almost over, but they still had one more year in High School. Anyway, he was taking Dan to the dance so that was one step closer to wherever they were heading. He decided to tell Chris when he had stopped ranting. "I'm going to the dance with Dan."

PJ nodded. "I mean.. it's Phil Lester. Most popular guy in school."

"That's good. I don't think I'm gonna go," Chris said with a sigh. Phil shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "You have to. It won't be fun without you." Chris shrugged. "You'll be with Dan the whole thing though." Phil sighed and rolled his eyes playfully, "Come on Chris you know I'll make time for you."

*time skip*

"So.. uh. Phil asked me to go to the dance with him." Dan said and PJ glanced over from his seat in class. "You said yes right?"

Phil had to hold in his laughs as Chris fell back in his chair, covering his mouth with his hands. "Oh my god, are you okay?" He asked when Chris started laughing. Phil helped him up and they both broke out into giggles as their drama teacher shushed them grumpily.

Dan nodded. "Yeah." He heard a chuckled from behind them and turned, seeing Marcus. "Hope you have fun at the dance freak." He says and Dan rolls his eyes, turning back to PJ.

Phil wrote down the notes that their drama teacher gave them for an upcoming class assignment as he talked about their plans for the dance. "Okay I'll pick you up an hour before and we'll hang out at my house and get food before we go to pick up Dan. And then I'll drive you and Dan home. Easy." Chris nodded but made an unsure face. "I don't know Phil.. it'll be lame if I'm just standing around." Phil huffed. "That's why it's called a DANCE."

"So is it a date?" PJ asked when the bell rang and Dan shrugged. "I'm assuming it is. I mean.. kind of hoping maybe." He says and then he feels hands on him, shoving him down. He hits the floor with a groan and turns around. "What the hell Marcus!"

Chris still looked unsure and Phil patted his head. "If I buy you taco bell before will you come?" He asks with a smile, elbowing him playfully. "That's a deal right there," Chris said, laughing as they made their way into the hallway.

"Sorry. Didn't see you there freak." Dan was still on the ground, PJ standing in front of him so Marcus couldn't get near him.

Phil was about to say something else when he saw Marcus and PJ were about to fight, and Dan was on the ground behind PJ.  "What the fuck?" He called, running over to them. "What the fuck are you doing Marcus?" Phil asked angrily as he helped Dan up, pushing him behind himself.

Dan was pushed behind Phil's body and he whimpered a bit, his head hurting from when he hit the floor.

"Oh. I was just teaching the freak a lesson." Marcus says, chuckling.

"A lesson for what?! He didn't do shit to you," Phil yelled, his blood boiling as he protected Dan.

"Oh you're protecting him?" He laughed and got close to Phil's face. "Does he know the truth about you?" He asked quietly.

Phil narrowed his eyes at him, but his heart quickened in fear. He knew what Marcus was talking about. The dare. "You know that doesn't mean shit anymore," Phil snarled, ready to beat Marcus's ass if he needed to.

"Doesn't it though?" He says, laughing before walking away.

Phil felt his chest heaving as he watched Marcus walk away. He let out a deep sigh and turned to Dan. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.

Dan nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine. Thank you for that."

Phil shook his head angrily. "God he's such an ass."

PJ nodded. "Yeah. I can't fucking stand him." He turned to Dan. "You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. Are you alright?"

Phil felt guilt in his stomach as he bit his lip. What Marcus knew could mess everything up. "Turn around, let me check if you're bleeding," Phil said gently.

Dan turned, letting Phil check his head. People were walking by but Dan ignored them.

"I don't see anything. Should we take you to the nurses?" Phil asked as Chris walked up to them. "Jesus fuck that was scary. You alright Dan?"

Dan turns to Chris, shocked he was actually talking to him. "Oh uh.. yeah. I'm fine." He smiled kindly and pulled away from Phil a bit. "I don't have to go to the nurse. I'm good."

Phil nodded and let him pull away. He turned to Chris and let out a heavy sigh. "We better get to class," he said, giving Dan a small nod before he was pulling Chris away.

"Chris fuck he knows. Marcus remembers." 

Chris looked stunned, "Remembers what?" 

Phil let out a shaky breath. "He remembers the dare. He's going to use it against me. He's going to fuck everything up," Phil said, burying his face in his hands.

Chris rubbed his arm as he tried to calm him.

Dan waved a bit and walked to English with PJ. They were a bit late but the teacher wasn't in the room yet. So it didn't matter.

"Hey hey it's okay. I'm sure Dan will understand if anything happens," Chris said gently, knowing he'd be late to class but he needed to help Phil.

"Come on, bathroom," he said, leading Phil into the bathroom so they could talk.

They sat quietly throughout class, the teacher said it was a free day since they knew everyone's mind was on the dance tomorrow anyways.

"No! It's not okay!" Phil said, slamming his hand down on the counter. "I'm a horrible person for accepting that dare and now Dan is going to think everything was a lie!" Phil said, burying his face in his hands again. He lowered his voice and made sure nobody else was in the bathroom before he continued, "Chris.. he took my virginity.. how can that be a lie?" Chris's eyes grew and he put a hand over his mouth as Phil nodded shyly.

"Your head okay?" PJ asked when Dan winced. "Yeah. Just hurts a bit." He smiled and turned around to face him. "Can you help me get something nice to wear to the dance?"

Phil looked at his reflection in the mirror before he pulled his eyes away. "Why did you let me do it?..." He asked quietly. "You said you'd take care of me! You said you'd stop me from making stupid choices!" Phil said, his voice raising as he got angry.

Chris looked a bit frightened as Phil raised his voice at him. "You never would've even talked to Dan if it wasn't for that dare.." 

Phil scoffed and shoved past Chris, walking to class with anger, guilt, and worry in the pit of his stomach.

The bell rang and Dan walked out of class, heading towards his locker. He looked for Phil in the hallway but didn't see him anywhere.

Phil snuck out after class and walked to the back of the library where he first started talking to Dan. He sat down in his spot as he leaned his head back on the building. Things had seemed so perfect and calm back then. Phil thought that maybe life would be okay for awhile when he was with Dan. "God I'm so fucking stupid," he mumbled to himself, sighing heavily as he wanted a joint. He wanted to forget his worries and get high with Dan.

Dan decided not to go to athletics, walking to where he normally skipped class. He saw Phil there and paused, confused. "Hey. What are you doing?"

"Taking a break," Phil said, running his fingers over the grass as he looked out in front of him.

Dan nodded, sitting next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired," Phil said, moving his hands to his lap as he played with his fingernails. "Tired of this fucking school," he added on after a moment.

Dan chuckled. "Yeah. This school sucks."

Phil nodded in agreement as he looked over at him. "Do you have any joints? I need to get away," he said tiredly.

Dan paused, he hadn't told Phil but he was trying to quit. "Uh. Yeah." He reached in his bag, pulling one out and his lighter.

Phil lit it and lifted it to his lips, breathing it in and exhaling the smoke slowly, closing his eyes as he let himself get away for a little.

Dan stayed where he was, trying to avoid breathing in the smoke. "Is something wrong?"

Phil exhaled the smoke in his mouth as he debated whether or not to tell Dan. He couldn't bring himself to do it as he shook his head. "I just needed a getaway. I'm stressed."

Dan nodded. "Yeah. Finals are coming up. Everyone is stressing." Dan says and smiles.

Phil nods and offers a small smile. He noticed Dan didn't ask for the joint and he looked a bit uncomfortable. "Are you trying to quit?" He asked as he held the joint away from him.

Dan nodded, resting his head against the building behind him. "I figure if I quit my mom will have a little extra money because she doesn't have me stealing half her weed after she buys it. So she won't have to buy it as often."

Phil nodded and put the joint out, figuring he had had enough to keep him at ease for a bit. "Sorry.." he said quietly as he leaned his head back as well, locking his fingers with Dans.

"It's fine. I'm not a baby. Peej still smokes around me all the time. I can handle it." He smiles.

Phil smiled at him gently and nodded again, looking out in front of him as he chewed on his bottom lip, worrying about what was going to happen with Marcus still. He felt a bit at ease but his thoughts didn't go away and he felt irritated still.

Dan heard the bell ring and he stood up. "Time for lunch."

Phil stood up with him as he grabbed his bag and locked his fingers with Dan's. He wanted school to be over already and they still had math after lunch.

They walked to lunch together. Dan sitting down because he still couldn't afford to buy himself lunch.

"You hungry?" Phil asked as he say down next to him. He had stopped sitting at his other table a long time ago and he was happier this way.

Dan shrugged. "I'm fine Phil honestly."

Phil ruffled his hair, "well I'm buying you lunch," he said, smiling at him softly before he stood up and began making his way to the lunch line, knowing that Dan didn't eat breakfast and he was usually starving by lunch time.

Dan sighed and turned to PJ. "Wish he wouldn't do that." He mumbles and PJ shrugs. "I think it's sweet." He says. "It is sweet! I just don't have any way to pay him back."

Phil got lunch as quick as possible, which still took about 5 minutes and he made his way back to their table, watching the ground so that nobody would trip him. It was common in this school. He made it to their table and gave it to Dan, pulling out his phone when he felt it buzz.

Dan smiled sheepishly. "Thank you Phil. I'll pay you back for always buying me lunch eventually." He promises.

"I don't want you to pay me back," Phil said, frowning. He checked his phone to see a text from Chris and he sighed before tucking his phone away, not in the mood for more drama.

"Yeah. But I want to. So it's happening." Dan laughed and started eating, too hungry to deny the food Phil bought him.

Phil shook his head and started playing with his fingernails again, something he did when he was nervous or didn't know what to do.

The ate quietly for a while until lunch ended. Dan stood up, grabbing his bag and smiling. Math was his worst subject but the only class he had both Phil and PJ in.

Phil put his bag on his shoulder as he walked to class with Dan and PJ, thankful that it was their last period.

Dan sat in his usual spot in the back of the room, getting ready to be confused as hell.

Phil heard Chris sit behind him but he kept his eyes forward. "Did you get my text?" Chris asked and Phil shook his head. "Well read it after school.  It's important." Phil nodded and began writing down what was on the board, his head pounding.

Class went by slowly, Dan was excited to get out of school. He was going over to PJ's to find a nice suit to wear to the dance the next day.

Phil worked on the assignment the teacher gave them in stress. He wanted to just get home and hide from everything. He started doodling an eye on the side of his paper when he got stressed out, the drawing relaxing him some.

Eventually the bell rang and Dan jumped up, packing everything up. "We have to stop by my locker. I have English homework so I need my book." He says to PJ.

Phil packed up his things quickly as he hurried out of the class, ignoring Chris as he walked to his car. He knew it wasn't exactly Chris's fault, but he had promised him he wouldn't let him do anything stupid and he broke that promise. He got in his car and opened up his text messages, checking his text from Chris.

They stopped at Dan's locker, he put his books away and grabbed his English book. They were walking out of the school, things were really quiet.

'Look I know you're mad at me, but there's a reason I let you do it. I thought maybe you and Dan would become friends, which you did. I was only trying to help Dan. If you explain to Dan that it was a dare at first but it became more, I'm sure he'll understand. Just tell him the truth.' Phil let out a deep breath after he had read it all, leaning his head back against his seat.

Dan grinned as he walked to PJ's car. Today had been a good day, mostly. Besides the incident with Marcus but he was choosing to ignore it.

Phil didn't reply as he stuck his phone in his pocket and began driving home. When he got home he wasn't surprised to see his parents gone and he made his way up to his room, collapsing on the bed with a sad sigh.

A couple of hours later Dan had put on a nice outfit, not a suit but he looked nice.

Phil looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to punch his reflection. Wanted to punch himself. Why was he popular? There was nothing special about him. He was just a pathetic asshole. He slid his clothes off and got in the shower, sitting on the floor instead of standing as he buried his face in his knees, wishing he could be better for Dan. He deserved better.

Dan turned to PJ. "I like this one. Think it looks okay." And PJ nodded. "Yeah. You look hot." 

Dan laughed. "I just want to look nice, I've never been to a dance before and I'm going with Phil and just.."

Phil didn't cry. Instead he just sat in the shower and hid himself from the world. He wanted to be with Dan again and feel okay again. He wanted that stupid dare to go away and he wanted Marcus to just fucking go to hell. He sighed as he wrapped his fingers around himself. Maybe he could distract his mind with his hand.

PJ laughed, standing up and making Dan look him in the eye. "You look amazing. Phil's going to be so surprised because the only thing he's ever seen you in is skinny jeans and black shirts."

Phil leaned his head back as he slowly worked his fingers over himself. He closed his eyes and kept his breathing steady as he pleasured himself. It wasn't as good as Dan, but it was enough to keep him out of stress for a bit.

Dan grinned happily. "I'm actually excited." He admitted and laughed a bit. "Fuck. I'm such a girl."

Phil began working his hand over himself faster as soft moans slipped from his mouth. He imagined his hand as Dan's, he imagined him working his hand over him as he thrusted in and out of him. Phil wouldn't admit it, but he missed the sex already. He wanted more of it but he didn't want Dan thinking it was only about sex.

PJ laughed, ruffling Dan's hair. "Come on. I'll take you home."

Phil bit his knuckle as he worked his hand over himself faster and faster, swiping his finger over his slit, causing a groan to leave his mouth. He wanted to try new things with Dan. He wanted to suck him off. He moaned again as he imagined Dan's dick in his mouth, taking him as deep as possible as he looked up at him, knowing that it was his mouth that was making him moan. His "innocent" mouth as Dan called it.

Dan grinned, getting in PJ's car. "Actually, can you drop me off at Phil's? He seemed upset at school today and I want to check on him."

Phil felt himself getting closer as he bit his lip and moved his other hand between his legs, slowly inserting a finger into himself, causing his body to shake with pleasure. He began working his finger in and out of himself as he squeezed his eyes shut, imagining the fingers as Dan's. He breathed heavily as he added a second, curling them into his prostate as he grunted, teasing his own prostate as he worked his hand over himself quickly and roughly.

Dan got to the house, knocking. Nobody answered and he tried the door, walking inside. "Phil?" He called out, walking up the stairs.

Phil slid his finger through his slit again as he began pushing his fingers in and out of himself, aiming them into his prostate with each thrust. He felt himself panting and let out a soft whine as he bucked up into his fist.

Dan walked up the stairs, checking Phil's room and finding it empty. He heard the water running and walked to the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Phil?"


	18. 18

Phil heard someone knock and he slid his fingers out of himself in worry. "Y-yeah?" He called, cursing as he sounded breathless and he was panting.

"Hey it's Dan." He says, in case Phil didn't hear from his voice. "I just came over to check on you. Are you alright?"

"I.. um yeah I'll be out in a second!" He called over the shower as he bit his lip at his aching dick. He turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist as he walked out of the bathroom, smiling shyly at him. He felt himself blushing when he saw him.

Dan smiled. "I was worried." He said, opening Phil's bedroom door for him.

Phil followed him into his bedroom and sat down on his bed, looking up at him. "Why?"

"You just seemed really upset at school today. I wanted to check on you." He said and smiled. "I'll wait downstairs for you to get dressed."

"Do you have anywhere to be?" He asked as he held Dan's wrist, looking up at him shyly.

Dan glanced back at him. "No. I was just going to go home after we hung out for a bit. Why?"

"I..I want to try something," Phil said as he ran his fingers over the material of his towel.

"Okay." Dan says, not understanding exactly what Phil meant. "What do you want to try?" He asked.

Phil pushed Dan back a bit and hesitantly dropped to his knees in front of him, licking over his lips as he slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, looking up at him to silently ask if it was okay.

Dan's mouth dropped open, shocked. "A-Are you sure Phil?"

Phil nodded and smiled softly, beginning to pull Dan's pants down as his heart raced in his chest. He nearly drooled as he looked at Dan's size through his boxers. He smiled shyly and slowly licked a stripe over the outline of his dick through his boxers.

Dan licked over his lips, moaning a bit. He leaned his head against the wall he was leaning against.

Phil connected his lips to Dan's tip through his boxers and began sucking on it, wanting to tease him a bit before he gave him what he wanted.

Dan moaned quietly, panting a bit. He'd been thinking about doing this with Phil for months and it was finally happening.

Phil began licking at him through his boxers as he moved his hand to go up Dan's shirt, caressing his skinny stomach and chest. He attached his lips to the bulge and sucked on it until he had decided he had teased enough, wanting to actually taste Dan. He looked up at him as he began pulling his boxers down slowly.

Dan shivered a bit at the cold air after Phil took his boxers off. He bucked his hips up a bit, wanting friction.

Phil smiled when Dan bucked his hips up as he took him in his hand. "Fuck you're huge," he mumbled out, before he began licking at his slit, leaving slow kitten licks over it as he moaned softly at the taste.

Dan groaned, not being able to talk. "Fuck Phil. H-Have you done this before?"

Phil shook his head, connecting his lips to his tip as he sucked on it, swirling his tongue around it like a lollipop. He popped off of his tip and licked a stripe up the side of his cock. He had seen girls and guys do it in porn so he kinda knew what it was like and hed be lying if he said he hadn't tried deepthroating a banana once or twice.

Dan leaned his head back. "It's uh.. it's d-different then it is in porn." He said, whimpering a bit. "Open your mouth wide and move slowly."

Phil did what Dan told him to as he opened his mouth wide and took a deep breath before he began sliding his mouth down his cock, moaning softly around it, but disappointed when he couldn't get as deep as he wanted. He slid his mouth almost completely off before he began sliding down him again, feeling a bit bad at the slow pace. He wanted to take more of him and he opened his mouth wider, trying to take more and sliding back up a bit breathless as tears filled his eyes. "This is harder than it looks in porn," he admitted shyly.

Dan chuckled a bit breathlessly. "S-Stroke what doesn't fit in your mouth." He mummers.

Phil nodded and closed his eyes as he took his in his mouth again, sliding his mouth down and hallowing his cheeks as he moved his hand to stroke the part of him his mouth couldn't get. He began bobbing his head slowly, not wanting to choke and make Dan worry. He worried that Dan wouldn't like it since it was his first one that he had ever given and he frowned against his cock.

Dan bit his lip roughly, Phil's slow pace meant he felt everything. "Fuck." He moved his hands to wrap in Phil's hair.

He kept bobbing his head, wanting to speed up but he was a bit scared, so instead jerked the part of him he couldn't get in his mouth quickly. He had to pull off to breathe as he attached his lips to his tip again, sucking on it and collecting the precum on his tongue.

Dan moaned, bucking his hips up roughly. He was glad Phil had pulled off because that definitely would've choked him. "Oh god. I'm so close."

Phil nodded and began bobbing his head on him again, hallowing his cheeks and relaxing his throat as he jerked him off at the same time. He sucked harder, wanting Dan to cum in his mouth as he took a deep breath and began speeding up his sucking a bit, moving his free hand to cup his balls.

Dan cried out, bucking his hips and holding Phil's head still as he came. Forcing him to swallow it all.

Phil felt Dan's cum run down his throat as he swallowed it all greedily, moaning around him at the taste. When he was done cumming, he licked up the sides of his cock and the tip to collect any he might've missed.

Dan collapsed, sliding down the wall and ending up on the floor next to Phil.

Phil giggled and wiped his mouth off. "Sorry I wasn't very good," he said shyly as he sat next to Dan.

Dan snapped his eyes to Phil immediately. "You were fucking amazing."

"I couldn't get very far down.." He said shyly, looking down at his hands as he sat embarrassed.

Dan chuckled. "Sex isn't always like it is in porn." He says softly. "You don't have to deepthroat me for it be amazing. Alright?"

Phil nods and kisses him softly. "I'm still hard," he said quietly as he played with the fabric of his towel and looked at him.

Dan reaches down, pulling the towel off of him and throwing it down. He crawled down Phil's body and licked around his tip.

"A-aH! You don't have to," Phil said, lacing his fingers in Dan's hair as he bit his lip nervously.

Dan chuckled, taking him in his mouth and deepthroating him in one go, moaning around him.

Phil's eyes widened as he deepthroated him as he threw his head back and arched his back, yelling "Fuck!"

Dan closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Phil's cock inside his mouth. He pulled up, licking around the tip and stroking what wasn't in his mouth.

Phil found himself panting and letting out moans as Dan sucked on him and played with his cock. He whined and tightened his grip on Dan's hair as he fought back the urge to buck his hips up.

Dan started bobbing his head quickly, moving one hand down to play with Phil's balls.

Phil lost it, Dans hot mouth on his cock and his hand playing with his balls pushed him over the edge as he came down his throat, his hips bucking up in the process and a loud whine falling from his lips.

Dan swallowed all of it, pulling off of him and smiling. "There ya go. Not hard anymore."

Phil let out a breathy noise as he closed his eyes and tried to catch his breathing. "Holy fuck," he whispered out, crawling into his lap and resting his head on his shoulder.

Dan smiled. "Glad you enjoyed."

"You're amazing," Phil said quietly as he breathed in Dan soothingly, feeling at ease in his lap.

Dan grinned. "Practice makes perfect." He says simply.

Phil slowly got off of him as he reminded himself that they weren't dating. He slowly stood up, his legs feeling bit like jelly as he laughed softly. He helped Dan up, taking his hands in his and kissing his cheek when he stood up, moving to grab boxers from him.

Dan smiled and checked the time. "I should probably get home soon. My mom is getting off early tonight and she wants to have a late dinner."

Phil nodded, a bit sad that Dan wasn't going to stay the night, but he understood, slipping on a pair of boxers and a loose t-shirt. He sat on his bed as he watched Dan put on his boxers and pull on his jeans.

"I'm excited to finally spend some time with her. She's been working so much." Dan grins.

Phil nodded, smiling softly at him as his worries slowly came back. He stood up from the bed and rested his hand on Dan's cheek as he looked him in the eyes, memorizing the color of them. The shape of them, before he closed his own and slowly kissed him, just in case Marcus tells him tomorrow. He wanted to appreciate him as much as possible before he finds out, knowing he'd be upset when he finds out.

Dan kissed back softly, feeling his heart beat quicken in his chest. He pulled away smiling.

Phil smiled at him as he let him finish getting dressed, lying down on his bed and looking up at his ceiling. He had always wanted glow in the dark stars, but his parents said they were "childish" and would "distract him from his work."

Dan walked towards the door. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Phil said softly, watching him leave as his worries returned harder than ever without his presence.


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally uploaded the same chapter twice, sorry about that. Here's the next chapter. X

Dan waved and walked out, sighing deeply. "Fuck I don't want to walk home." He complained to himself.

* time skip *

Phil adjusted the bowtie on his shirt as he turned to Chris. "Are you sure this isn't too much?" He asked shyly. Chris shook his head and smiled softly. "You look great Phil, stop worrying so much." Phil nodded as he fixed his hair again and sighed happily, "let's go get Dan and PJ," he said, grinning at him as he pulled out his car keys and they began walking out of the house.

Dan was at PJ's house. "Should I wear the tie?" He asked and PJ shook his head. "Definitely not. It doesn't really go well with what you picked out."

Phil unlocked his car and got in a bit nervously, starting it up and turning on the radio as he rolled down his window. He looked over at Chris with a wide smile as he took a deep breath and began driving to PJ's house, Chris giving him directions to get there.

Dan nodded. "You're right." He said and threw the tie down on PJ's dresser and turned around. "Good?"

"Fuck I forgot flowers!" Phil said when he was halfway there. He threw his phone at Chris. "Text Dan I'm picking something up and I'll be there in 10." Chris began typing it out with a smirk as he added "baby" at the end with a kissy face. He handed the phone back to Phil and Phil whined, shoving him with one hand before he put it back on the wheel. "You're such an ass!"

Dan's phone lit up and he grabbed it. "Picking something up right quick. Be there in 10 mins baby ;)" Dan blushed. He and Phil never texted like that. He thought about texting back but knew he was probably driving and decided against it.

Phil found a small flowershop near PJs house and he quickly parked and grabbed his wallet before dragging Chris inside with him. "I'm gonna get him roses," he said, seeing a brown teddy bear as well and smiling as he paid for the two things. He thanked the guy before he dragged Chris back into the car with him. "Okay all set," he said, waiting for Chris to get buckled in before he was driving to PJ's house again.

Dan was pacing. "Shit shit shit" he was obviously nervous and PJ was sitting on the counter eating salted peanuts and watching Dan, trying not to laugh.

It took them a couple of minutes to get there and when they did, Phil felt his heart in his throat. "I can't breathe," he said, turning to face Chris. Chris handed him the flowers and teddy bear and nodded. "Go get it tiger," he said with a wink. Phil laughed and got out of the car, slowly making his way to PJs door and knocking on it, his nerves on fire and his throat feeling dry.

PJ jumped up. "Prince Charming is here." He said teasingly and went to answer the door. "Hey Phil."

"Hey," he said nervously, smiling shyly at him. "Are you guys ready?"

PJ grinned, calling over his shoulder. "Dan! Your dates here!" He moved out of the way so Phil could see Dan when he walked into view.

Phil's eyes widened as he saw Dan dressed up in a nice collared shirt and skinny jeans, his hair straightened and a small blush on his cheeks. Phil stared breathless for a minute before he finally got the words out, "You look amazing," he said, grinning widely and blushing as he offered the flowers and teddy bear to him.

Dan blushed, accepting the flowers. "Thank you. You look amazing as well." He says and turns to PJ "Can I put these in a vase here until we get back?"

Phil held out the teddy bear to him as well, which was fluffy and soft, and had a little yellow bowtie on with a yellow tophat. He blushed and smiled at him shyly, "I thought it was cute."

Dan grinned, grabbing it as well. "It's adorable. Thank you. I'm going to put the roses in some water."

Phil nodded and called at Chris to come inside, who was blaring music in his car. Chris rolled his eyes and got out, grinning at PJ as he walked inside. "Damn this place is awesome!" Chris said, smiling widely as his counter was covered with snacks.

Dan heard the chatter of voices as he walked to the kitchen and he grinned, running water in a vase and setting the roses in there carefully. He walked back towards them.

Phil sat down at his counter while he waited for Dan to be ready. PJ and Chris were talking while he was sat admiring Dan with a grin on his face. He couldn't believe how handsome he looked.

Dan grinned when he got to them. "Alright, roses are up."

Phil smiled and looked around. "Alrighty. Everyone good to go?" He asked as he pulled his car keys out.

Dan nodded and everyone walked out, Dan sitting in the front with Phil while PJ and Chris got in the back.

Phil blared music while they drove there, Chris, PJ,  and Dan all screaming the lyrics while Phil chuckled and focused on getting them to the school safely.

They made it and Dan stepped out a bit nervous. He'd never been to a dance before.

Phil wasn't very nervous, as his friends usually dragged him to all of the school dances, but going with someone was new to him and he smiled softly as he took his hand, locking their fingers together as he led him, along with PJ and Chris into the school.

The music was loud and Dan cringed as a cheesy pop song was played over the speakers. He walked further in, looking around at the decorations.

Phil walked inside, amazed about all of the decorations they had this time. Usually the dances were lame with decorations but it seemed this time they decided to go all out. Perfect for Dan. Phil smiled at him and noticed him cringing at the music. He laughed and pulled him closer. "I know it sucks, but just go along with it."

Dan laughed and wrapped his arms around Phil. "Do you think they'll play good music at any point?"

"Mmm probably not our type of music. Maybe slow songs," Phil said, setting his hands on Dan's lower back.

Dan nodded, smiling. "I'm strangely excited to dance with you." He said and laughed.

Phil nodded in agreement, grinning widely. "Me too, but where are Chris and PJ?"

Dan looked around, spotting them. "They're dancing."

Phil's eyes widened and he shrugged his shoulders. "Well then," he said, grinning widely. More people started coming in as the dance got more full and loud. After a while they turned the lights out and only the glow in the dark stickers on the walls kept the room lit up.

Dan looked around, mesmerized. "I'm going to get us some punch." He says and starts walking towards the punch bowel.

Phil let's him go as he rubs his hands on his jeans, seeing the girl he sits in front of in history class come up to him. "Hi Phil!" She said, smiling widely and waving. "Oh.. hi," Phil says, not expecting her to talk to him. "How are you liking it?" She asked with a smile and Phil saw Dan with their drinks as he waved goodbye at the girl. "I've gotta go, sorry," he said, hurrying to get to Dan so he wouldnt get jealous.

Dan walked up, handing Phil his drink. "Here you go, sir." He said jokingly and takes a drink.

Phil smiles at him softly. "Thank you." He takes a drink and looks around him, noticing everyone dancing. He chugged down his drink and turned to Dan. "Do you wanna dance?" He asked cheekily, holding his hand out to Dan as he set his empty cup in the trash can.

Dan grinned, sipping his drink a bit before sitting it down on the table. "Yeah. Let's go dance."

Phil took his hand and smiled as he led him to an open spot. He set his hands on Dan's lower back as he stood closer to him, their chests pressing against each other as a slow song came on.

Dan smiled, he'd never felt so happy before. He looked into Phil's eyes, "You've helped me so much."

Phil smiled at him and blushed slightly. "That's all I want to do," he said softly, holding Dan a bit closer as they began swaying slowly to the music.

Dan rested his head on Phil's shoulder as he danced, unbelievably happy.

Phil breathed him in as he hugged him close, swaying him gently with a wide smile. He couldn't believe he was here holding Dan as they danced. He hadn't been this warm and happy in a long time.

Dan pulled away, still smiling. "I'll be back. Gotta use the bathroom real quick." He smiled at Phil.

Phil nodded and smiled at him warmly, finding Chris and PJ and deciding to cockblock a bit. "How's the lovebirds?" He asked with a wide smile as they danced. Chris did a thumbs up and winked causing Phil to laugh. "Dan is in the bathroom so I'm lonely," Phil told them, tucking his hands into his pockets.

Dan walked in, going to one of the stalls. He did his business but before he could step out he heard voices. It was Marcus and Alfie. He stayed where he was, not wanting to deal with drama tonight.

Phil grabbed another drink while he waited for Dan, leaning against a wall as he hummed softly to the music blaring.

He stayed in the stall waiting for them to finish so he could leave. "Man, I can't believe he's still working on that bet we made like three months ago." Alfie says and Dan scrunched his eyebrows, wondering who they where talking about. "Come on. It's Phil. Of course he is." Dan stayed silent, trying to figure out what they where talking about.

"I can't believe he's still dedicated to it. Guess he doesn't want the whole school knowing how much of a pussy he is," Marcus said, chuckling afterwards. "Hes going pretty far with it to. The hickey, the hand holding. Hes making it seem believeable."

Dan put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears starting to fall as he put two and two together. A bet. That's all it had been. All it had ever been. Dan didn't mean anything to Phil.

"Phil is honestly such a coward. Can't tell the freak the truth."

Dan whimpered quietly, trying not to make it obvious he was crying. He didn't want them to know.

"You know what's sad? Is that he actually asked him to the dance. I heard he even smoked with him. All of this for a couple of dollars. Phil is truly a dick," Alfie said, grinning widely at Marcus when he heard a sniffle.

A couple of dollars? Dan felt more tears coming and he sobbed quietly, hoping they couldn't hear him.

"Let's go get drinks and party," Marcus said, winking at Alfie as they walked out of the bathroom together, leaving Dan alone in there.

Dan stumbled out of the stall as the left, crying harshly. He sobbed loudly and gripped at his hair, he'd thought Phil liked him. He'd thought it was real. "So fucking stupid." He mummers to himself and sobbed again, running out of the bathroom and towards the door.


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was tough to write. I hope you guys like it. xx
> 
> \- also I'm going to try updating quicker, sorry for the long waits in between chapters; school sucks ass.

Phil hummed to the music and waited for Dan, pulling out his phone and checking the time. After awhile Phil grew confused as he decided to check on Dan. "Hey Dan you okay?" He called into the bathroom. No response. The bathroom was empty. He furrowed his eyebrows as he wondered where he had gone. He pulled out his phone to text him. "Hey where'd you go?"

Dan's phone vibrated and he ignored it, running away faster. He felt like he couldn't breathe, his chest was heaving from the tears and the exercise and he collapsed on the ground, crying into his hands.

Dan didn't respond and Phil grew confused, walking over to PJ and Chris again. "Did you guys see Dan anywhere? He's not answering his phone."

PJ shrugged, "Last I saw he was with you." He says, pulling away from Chris and glancing around. "I'll help you look for him."

"I texted him but hes not responding, let me call him," Phil said, pulling out his phone again and dialing Dan's number, waiting anxiously as it rang.

Dan's phone started buzzing in his pants and he sobbed louder, not wanting to deal with people.

"Hes not answering," Phil said, shrugging. "Maybe he left his phone in my car, let's look around," he told PJ and Chris.

Marcus walked up to the group, grinning smugly. "Lose someone?" He asked.

Phil grew angry. "What did you say to him?!" He snarled, his heart racing in his chest.

"I didn't say anything to him. He might've heard something though." He says, shrugging and beginning to walk away. "Hey, at least he knows the truth now. Right Phil?"

Phil grew angrier than he ever had. Before he knew what was happening he was punching Marcus in the face, his fist hitting his mouth and nose, and the punch so hard he fell to the ground, looking up at Phil surprised and pissed. "Fuck you! Fucking go to hell!" Phil yelled, before he was running off to find Dan.

Dan was still on the ground. His crying had ceased but he was still extremely upset.  He was more angry then sad now.

He pulled out his phone and called Dan again, needing to find out what they told him.

Dan felt his phone ringing, he groaned and turned his phone off. He didn't feel up for conversation at the moment.

Dan didn't answer and he sighed heavily, deciding to drive to his house. He walked to his car as he felt tears of anger fill his eyes. Why the fuck did Marcus have to fuck everything up? Phil got in the car before he pulled out of the school parking lot, making his way to Dan's house in anger and worry.

Dan got up, walking inside and locking the door. He walked upstairs to his room, tearing off the shirt and throwing it across the room. He'd gotten dressed up, worn clothes he didn't usually wear just to impress Phil.

When Phil got there he knocked on Dan's door. When he didn't answer he knocked harder. Fuck this wasn't good. Phil felt his insides stirring as he pulled out his phone again, trying to call Dan but it said his phone was off. "Fucking hell Dan," he said, sitting down and burying his fingers in his hair.

Dan heard knocking downstairs and he wanted to scream. It was probably PJ but he didn't feel like talking. He unbuckled his jeans, kicking them across the room as he pulled on pajamas.

Phil didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave Dan alone. He didn't want him trying to kill himself again. He couldn't lose him. He looked to see if he could get in Dan's window, but the climb was too high. He felt himself shaking as he needed some way to get in contact with him. He tried Dan's door to find it locked and he decided to call PJ, seeing if he had an extra key.

PJ answered the phone. "Hey. Did you find him?" He asked immediately.

"I think he's home, the doors locked and he won't answer his phone though. Do you have a key?" Phil asked, knocking on the door again.

"No. But the extra key is under the potted plant." He says. "Should I give you two some time?"

"Yeah, we'll need it. Just to talk," Phil said, relieved. "Thank you so much PJ."

"You're welcome." He says and hangs up the phone.

Phil grabs the key that is under the plant and unlocks the door, running up Dan's stairs and opening his door, looking at him apologetically for barging into his house. "What did you hear? What did they tell you?" Phil asked, visibly shaking as he could hardly breathe.

Dan turned around, "What the fuck are you doing here Phil?"

"I need to know what they said," he said, fighting back the lump in his throat as he tried not to break down in front of Dan.

"They said our friendship started because of a bet." He says and looked at Phil. "Look me in the eyes and tell me it isn't true."

Phil felt a lump in his throat form. "It wasn't a bet. It was a very drunk dare that I took," he whispered out. "I need to explain myself.. please."

Dan felt tears cloud his vision. "No. I think you should go."

Phil let out a shaky breath and he shook his head. "Dan I like you. And I want to be with you. And spend forever with you," he said, feeling himself falling apart as he shook where he was standing and fought back harsh tears.

"Don't fucking lie to me." Dan says harshly. "I thought you were different but you're just like the rest of them." He was angry, so so angry. And hurt. "Get the fuck out of my house!"

"I'm not lying to you! Would I give up my virginity for a dare?! Would I give up my chance of a decent future for a dare?!" Phil was screaming, his tears falling out of his eyes when he screamed, streaming down his face as he shook harder.

"Leave then! Go have your decent future!" He yelled, pushing Phil harshly, not hard enough for him to fall though. "Go back to your popularity and your rich friends. Get out!"

"No! I don't give a fuck about any of them! Id go poor to be with you! I'd lose everything to make sure you are okay!" Phil screamed back, letting Dan shove him.

"I don't want you here!" He yelled, all his feelings bubbling up and he couldn't stop yelling, the only thing keeping him from crying. "Get out! Go!"

Phil wanted to hug him he wanted to reach out and touch him but he dug his fingernails into his palms. "I can't leave you! I can't fucking leave you!" Phil said, tears streaming down his face again. "Do you think I'd save your life for a dare?! Do you think I'd be sobbing by your hospital bed for hours for a dare?!"

"Just go!" Dan yelled over him, not wanting to hear his excuses. "Fucking leave!"

"I fucking love you!" He screamed, his voice breaking as he said those two words for the first time. "The only time I've ever been able to say those words are to you," he said quietly, tears dripping into his mouth and down his chin.

"You don't hurt someone you love." Dan says, calm for the first time since Phil got there. "That's not love. That's not even fucking respect."

"I know. I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you. And I'm sorry," Phil says quietly. "But sorry isn't good enough. Sorry will never be good enough. I'm willing to give up anything to be with you," Phil said as he rubbed the snot dripping from nose onto his sleeve. "Anything.."

Dan shook his head. "Go home Phil."

"I can't lose you.." He said, shaking as he looked at him with tear filled eyes.

Dan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I can't," he said again quietly. "You're my safe place..."

Dan opened his eyes, crying in front of Phil for the first time ever. "I don't know if I can trust you Phil."

"I'm sorry.. those words are useless but I wish I had a way to show you how much I mean them. I love you Dan," he said, his nose running again as new tears ran down his cheeks again.

Dan shook his head. "You never would've even noticed me if it weren't for the bet."

"You're right.. I thought you hated me.. but because of that bet it made me realize how amazing you are. How different you are than everyone thinks."

Dan shook his head again. "I want you to go."

"I'll go.. but I can't lose you.. I cant... please.." Phil said quietly, looking into Dan's eyes.

Dan tried to hold back a sob. "I need time."

"Yeah.. I'll give you all the time you need," Phil said quietly, wiping his snot on his sleeve. He nodded at him before he turned around and began walking out of Dan's house.

Dan closed the door, locking it again and walking up to his room and laying down on his bed.

Phil broke down the minute Dan closed the door, a loud sob leaving his mouth as he got into his car. He broke down inside of his car, crying harder than he ever had. He couldn't breathe and everything was closing in on him. He wanted to scream but his throat was raw and sore and he couldn't do anything but sit there falling apart and sobbing harshly. His heart physically hurt and he couldn't think properly. Everything was fuzzy and blurry and he felt like he'd pass out.

Dan turned over in his bed, sobbing loudly when he realized his pillow smelled like Phil and he couldn't breathe. Everything hurt. His legs and arms hurt from running across town to his house and his chest hurt from his sobs and his eyes from his tears. His heart hurt from everything.

Phil knew that driving like this wasn't safe but he had to get away. He couldn't breathe. He turned the cold air on the highest level and he turned the music off, trying to steady his breathing as he drove home. The tears didn't stop, just kept falling down his face and he hated them. He hated himself. He wanted to die. For the first time in his entire life he was ready to die. He had had dramatic moments in his life where he wanted to die, but things like his popularity kept him alive, but there was nothing anymore. Nothing but Dan mattered. And he had lost him.

Dan sobbed for hours before he fell asleep, his throat hurting and his eyes heavy.

When Phil made it home the first thing he did was collapse on his bed, lifting the blankets over his head as he started crying again, tears coming harder as his room smelt a bit like Dan. He looked for something to drink or something to make him calm down and saw Dan's hoodie on his floor. He picked it up and held it close while he sobbed into it, burying himself under his covers and holding the hoodie as if it were the only thing keeping him alive. And maybe it was. The hoodie was like that little bit of hope he held deep inside of him that he was scared could be broke at any second.


	21. 21

Dan woke up in the morning and for a second he forgot everything that happened. It all came back to him as he woke up fully and he sighed, not able to cry so soon after crying so much last night. He stood up, beginning to get ready for school.

Phil woke up the same way he usually woke up, his mom screeching at him through his door. He rolled over to cuddle into Dan and instead found coldness. His eyes opened slowly and he sat up, the previous nights coming back to mind as he felt his body beginning to shake again. That couldn't be real. That couldn't have happened. It was all a dream. He turned his phone on, expecting to see a cute little Goodmorning from Dan, but instead found nothing. He opened up his messages and found the messages he sent to Dan the previous night. It was real.

Dan walked out of his house, closing and locking the door. He pulled his bag on his shoulder and started walking to school, not looking forward to the walk across town while his body still hurt and his mind wouldn't shut up.

Phil got up slowly and tiredly. He slipped on whatever shirt he could find and a pair of his skinny jeans. He didn't bother checking how he looked as he slid on a jacket of his, not wanting Dan to take his hoodie back. He put on his shoes and out on his backpack before he was walking to his car, the air too cold and his insides too empty.

Dan walked slowly, slower then he usually did. Maybe a part of him was hoping PJ would drive up in his car and offer a ride. Maybe he was hoping for Phil too. But he just sighed, pulling his hood over his head and walking a little bit faster.

Phil got in his car and took deep breaths before he was driving to school, fighting off the tears as he tried to look okay. He couldn't let Marcus see that he ruined him. Then again what did it matter? Maybe then people would see how much Dan meant to Phil. When Phil was suffering. He wanted to suffer. He wanted Marcus talking shit on him. He wanted the whole school looking at him with disgust. Then he'd get what he deserves.

Dan tripped a bit, cursing and continuing to school. He put his headphones in, ignoring the world. He knew the past few months people at school had been whispering. Talking about how happy he suddenly looked. They were in for a surprise when Dan got to school today.

Phil got to school and sat in his car for a few minutes, letting himself look as terrible as he felt as he got out, locking his car before he walked to school, looking at his feet and avoiding the eyes and good mornings the whole time.

Dan made it to school, a scowl on his face and his hoodie on. He had bags under his eyes and he was alone. Everyone noticed.

Phil chewed on his lip as he walked to his locker, seeing Dan with his hood up avoiding his eyes. He ducked his head again and walked to his own locker. He saw Chris come up to him and before he could say anything Chris was pulling him into a hug. He didn't hug back, just stood there. He didn't deserve comfort. Chris awkwardly let go when Phil didn't react as Phil leaned back on his locker, looking down at his feet, not knowing what to say. "I want to be alone..." He told Chris quietly.

Dan still had his headphones on, blaring his music. He noticed the stares, he pretended not to. He didn't see PJ anywhere and he figured he probably wasn't coming in today. Perfect.

Chris nodded and walked away. Phil picked up his drama stuff and pulled out his phone, his finger hovering over messages. He decided to go for it, looking over to see Dan with his phone out. He sent a picture of a shiba inu to him and didn't say anything, turning and walking to his drama class. Dan had told him that was his favorite dog breed, he thought silently as he sat in his seat, waiting for class to start.

Dan's phone vibrated with a picture message. He checked it and it was a picture of a shiba inu from Phil. He chuckled, locking his phone and walking towards English.

Phil couldn't focus on class and he asked to go to the bathroom, glad when he was allowed. He went to the vending machines and got a twix bar, sticking it in his backpack before he walked back to class. One time when Phil was buying stuff from the vending machines Dan said that everything in them were gross except for the twix bars. He sat back down in class and listened while the teacher read a dramatic play they had been planning for the end of the year.

The bell rang and Dan got up, walking towards his locker. People where moving out of his way like if they didn't he'd hit them, parting like the Red Sea. Usually this annoyed him, he'd never been in a fight a day in his life why where these people so scared of him. But today he appreciated it, he wasn't in the mood to deal with people today.

Phil walked to his locker and got his stuff together for his English class. He looked over at Dan and noticed he was still avoiding his eyes. He was glad that his English class was next to Dan's locker as he quickly pulled out a post it note and wrote "everything in here is disgusting except twix bars. I fucking love those." He put it on the twix bar before he adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and when Dan was about to turn for his next class, Phil slipped it onto his binder, walking into his English class before Dan could say anything.

Dan looked down quickly, confused. He saw the twix bar and the note, blushing at the fact that Phil remembered he'd even said that about two months ago. He walked to class, trying not to crush the twix.

** For the next part I'd recommend listening to Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran and Photograph by Ed Sheeran. The next part was based off of those two songs ♡ **

His English class was easy as they only had to annotate an article. His classes went by quickly, and before he knew it he was walking out to lunch, trying to find a spot to be alone. He didn't want to sit in Dan's spot and instead chose the spot that he and Chris lied in the day that he realized he was giving up his future and good habits for Dan.

Dan walked behind the library, not wanting to sit alone  in the cafeteria today. He sat down, pulling a joint out of his bag and lighting it.

Phil lied down on his back as he looked up at the sky, watching how the clouds seemed to be moving quickly today. He saw a bunny shaped cloud and smiled, taking his phone out and taking a picture of it and sending it to Dan with a bunny emoji. He felt empty without Dan. Like part of him had been thrown out and crushed and broken. He missed him.

Dan looked down, inhaling deeply and coughing a bit. It had been a while since he'd smoked.

Phil ran his fingers through his dirty and messy hair as he didn't take his eyes away from the sky. At times like these he wanted a miracle to happen. He wanted Dan to walk up to him and tell him that everything would be okay again or that it was all a dream. But he knew miracles didn't exist.

Dan took a deep breath, pulling his phone out and seeing another text from Phil. He opened it and saw a picture of a cloud. "You're outside?" He sent, before his mind caught up with his fingers.

Phil saw his phone light up and he furrowed his eyebrows, seeing a text from Dan. He opened it and smiled softly, pulling up his camera again and taking a picture of a cloud that looked like a squid. He sent it with a squid emoji, putting his phone on his chest.

Dan's phone lit up and he saw another picture of a cloud. He looked around seeing if he could see Phil anywhere but he could. He took a picture of the tree that was a little off to the side from the building and sending it.

Phil felt his phone buzz on his heart and he smiled softly at seeing the familiar tree from sitting behind the library so much. He took a picture of a small bush with flowers and sent it to him, the communication silent but relieving.

Dan saved the picture, thinking it looked pretty. He inhaled more smoke, letting it out in rings, taking a picture of the rings and sending it to Phil.

Phil smiled at the smoke rings and saved it. He took a picture of a bee that he saw on a flower and sent it to him with a bee emoji. He found himself smiling gently as he ran his fingers over the grass under him, glad he decided to be alone today. He needed it.

Dan saved the picture, taking a picture. He pointed his picture at the sky, where he was sitting there weren't many clouds and it was mostly blue.

Phil looked at the picture that Dan sent of the sky and rolled over, finding a small daisy and putting it in his hand and taking a picture of it, sending it to Dan.

Dan turned his camera to the front camera. He took a picture of his lower face, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

Phil smiled at the picture, looking at the way Dan's lips looked as he blew the smoke. He saved it with admiration. He put his sleeve over his mouth as he held a flower in his hand and turned the camera towards him, making sure to only get his sleeve, the flower and his neck in the picture.  He took the picture and sent it to him.

Dan heard the bell ring but he didn't bother getting up, not feeling in the mood to go to class. He picked a flower, sticking behind his ear and took a picture it.

Phil smiled at the picture and didn't bother getting up either, as he saved it. He tucked a flower between his lips and  took a picture of his lips with the flower. He sent it as he ran his fingers over the flower gently.

Dan bit his lip softly, wondering how this whole picture thing even started as he picked a flower, setting it in the palm of his hand and snapping a picture of it.

Phil saved it as he got a marker out of his backpack, drawing a small leaf on his cheek that only Dan would understand. He set a small leaf next to the drawing on his cheek and took a picture, sending it to him as he yawned softly.

Dan laughed slightly, pulling out a small pen and drawing a small flower on the back of his hand, taking a picture of it and sending it.

Phil smiled at the flower on Dan's hand as he pulled out his red marker, drawing a rose on his wrist. He took a picture of it and then sent it to him. He looked at the rose on his wrist as he traced his fingertips over it gently.

Dan picked a couple more flowers, setting them in his hair to look slightly like a flower crown and took a picture, sending it to Phil.

Phil blushed and smiled at the photo. Dan was beautiful. He saved it as he wrote 'youre beautiful' on his hand with a small flower next to it. He took the picture and bit his lip as he sent it.

Dan blushed and stood up, dusting off his jeans. He grabbed his bag, taking a picture of his shoes and the grass below him, sending it, and began walking towards the front of the building. He was going home early.

Phil realized he was walking his way but couldn't bring himself to care as he put his arm over his eyes and lied a flower in his hand gently, listening to the sound of the wind and a couple of birds somewhere as he lied down.

Dan didn't look back as he started walking home. He just couldn't handle being at school anymore today.

Phil noticed Dan didn't stop and he let out a small sigh, knowing that a couple of pictures of nature couldn't get him back. But he wasn't giving up. He wanted to show Dan much he meant to him. He smiled as he wrote the title of Dan's favorite book on his arm with a small drawing of an owl next to it. The time he was making cheesy jokes on his bed and made the one about the magic owl. He took a picture of it and sent it to him, closing his eyes again and listening to nature.

Dan smiled a bit, putting his headphones in. He took a picture of the broken red light that was on the way to his house, sending it to Phil.

Phil opened his phone as he remembered Dan pointing it out to him once when he was driving him home. He slowly sat up and slipped his backpack on before he began walking to his car. He took a picture of his feet and his hand still holding the flower as he walked, sending it to him.

Dan locked his phone, knowing Phil was about to drive and not wanting to distract him. He walked the rest of the way to his house.

Phil could've gone home, but he didn't want to go back to being depressed and alone at home, so instead he pulled out of the school parking lot and began driving the way he saw PJ drive to get to the lake. He didn't text anymore as he drove and he turned the radio on as he rolled his window down, feeling the wind dry his eyes and he felt peaceful. It took him a little before he saw hills and a grassy area. He pulled into it as he got out and began walking up the hill that Dan once ran up in front of him.

Dan walked inside, throwing his bag and keys down. He walked to the fridge, opening it. He didn't see anything and sighed, walking up to his room.

Phil smiled softly as he took a picture of the lake. He sent it to Dan as he sat down and pulled out his English homework, beginning to work on it as he put on soft music.

Dan's phone lit up and he looked down, gasping when he realized where Phil was. He looked around his room and finally just took a picture of his messy bed, sending it to Phil.

Phil smiled at his bed softly as he remembered that's where he lost his virginity with Dan. He sent a picture of his English homework with a frowny face. And continued working on it, deciding to go for a swim as he pulled his shirt off and slipped his shoes off.

Dan laid down on the bed, taking a picture of his ceiling. It wasn't interesting but he sent it anyways.

Phil took a picture of his collarbones as he began stepping into the water, not going deep enough to get his phone wet as he shivered at the coldness. Last time it was better since he had Dan's warmth but he knew he'd get used to it as he walked around in the shallow part of the lake for a bit.

Dan kicked his shoes off, taking a picture of his minion socks, laughing and sending it to Phil.

Phil laughed at Dan's socks as he took a picture of his stomach and the water. He sent it as he got bored of walking around and walked out of the water, lying down on his jacket on the grass.

Dan gulped at the pictures of Phil's body. He took his shirt off, taking a picture of his collarbones.

Phil saw the picture of Dan's collarbones and saved it. He smiled shyly, setting a flower on his neck as he turned his head and took a picture of his neck and collarbones. He sent it with a small grin on his face, noticing how his cheeks were a bit pink in the picture.

Dan grabbed a pen, drawing a couple of flowers on his hip and took a picture, thinking it might be a bit racy but not caring too much.

Phil stared at the picture of Dan's hip with the flowers on it and he smiled a bit wider, taking out his marker and drawing a daisy on his own hip. He took a picture of his hip and sent it to Dan, a gentle blush creeping across his cheeks.

Dan saved the picture, not bothering to draw anything new just taking a picture of the the v between his hips.

Phil licked over his lips at Dan's v-line and he took a blue marker, drawing small waves on parts of his v-line. He thought maybe the picture was a bit suggestive but he sent it anyway.

Dan felt his dick twitch a bit, frowning because he was supposed to be mad at Phil. But here he was on the edge of sexting him. He pulled his pants down a bit, exposing the top of his boxers and taking a picture.

Phil's eyes grew a bit when Dan sent a picture of the top of his boxers. He didn't mean for this to go to sexting but if Dan wanted it then hed go along with it. He set a flower on his chest as he took a picture of all of his chest, blushing slightly as he sent it to him.

Dan removed his pants, taking a deep breath before taking a picture of himself in his boxers and sending it before he could think about how that might be a bad idea.

Phil moaned softly at the picture of Dan in his boxers, as he saved it. He pulled down his own pants and set a few small leaves on top of the bulge in his boxers as he took a picture of it, sending it to Dan.

Dan reached down, resting his hand over his slightly growing bulge and snapped a picture.

Phil bit his lip as he saved the picture. He put his hand down his boxers and sent a picture of the outline of his hand through his boxers. He sent it to him as he gulped, wrapping his fingers around himself. He was in the public and he couldn't believe he was doing this.

Dan groaned, deciding to be a bit bold. Not sending a picture, but typing out a simple text. "My parents aren't home rn."


	22. 22

"Can I?" He asked, biting his lip as he sat up, slipping his shirt on, and pulling his jeans up.

"Yes." He said simply and then threw his phone down.

Phil didn't need any more confirmation as he stuffed his homework into his backpack and hurried to his car, driving to Dan's house quickly as his stomach was twisted and his head was foggy, only needing Dan.

Dan heard the door downstairs and he walked down, opening the door and seeing Phil. "This doesn't change anything. I'm still mad at you." Dan says before pulling him into a kiss.

Phil kisses him passionately as he wrapped his arms around his lower back, kissing him like they hadn't seen each other in months. He almost forgot how good Dan's lips felt as he closed the door behind him, pinning Dan against it as he kissed him.

Dan moaned into the kiss, bringing his hands to hold Phil's cheeks as he kissed him.

Phil held his back as he let out a soft noise in the kiss. He was so worried hed never feel this again. He was practically attacking his lips with joy and neediness as he worked their lips together.

Dan broke the kiss, needing to breathe. "God. I fucking hate you." He whispered before he was kissing him again.

"I love you," he whispered against his lips before he was bringing their lips back together, trailing his hands up his back and holding him tightly as he leaned his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

Dan whined at the words, biting down on Phil's lip. "I hate you, I hate you." He mutters, not being able to stop kissing Phil.

Phil whispered "I love you," in between kisses as he began moving Dan to the couch, kissing him deeply before he pushed him down and straddled him, kissing him passionately again.

Dan whined again, not wanting to hear those words when he was trying to be angry at Phil. "I hate you." He mummers again, sighing and turning his head away from the kiss and Phil's lips move to his neck.

Phil kissed down his neck before he licked a stripe up it. "Can I mark you?" He asked before kissing up and down it again, leaving hot open mouthed kisses over his smooth skin.

Dan nodded, not wanting to talk. He moaned quietly at the feeling and was mad at himself for doing so.

Phil licked up his neck again and found a spot he liked as he bit down on the spot and began sucking lightly so he'd leave a mark. He pulled away to look at it as he smirked, leaning in to mark him again. And again. He wanted Dan to remember this when he was mad at him. He wanted Dan walking around school with these as everyone is confused, knowing he's mad at Phil. Phil pulled away when his neck was covered in hickeys as he grinned at his masterpiece.

Dan whined, exhaling through his nose to keep from moaning and brought Phil's lips back to his. He was being too gentle. This felt too much like Phil loved him. He didn't want that right now. He was angry, he was trying to be at least. He tried to make the kiss angry, Phil wasn't having it though.

Phil pulled away and smiled as he kissed him softly, pulling away again when he started making it angry and reconnecting his lips in a passionate kiss. He ran his fingers over Dan's neck gently, as he kissed him softly and passionately, pouring his heart into the kiss.

Dan whined loudly. "Stop it." He says angrily, knowing Phil would understand what he meant even though he didn't even really understand what he meant. He wanted Phil to stop being gentle.

Phil smiled and shook his head, sucking on his bottom lip gently before he let it go, kissing over it. He leaned his lips back down to Dan's neck as he kissed it, leaving a mark on his jawline as well. He moved his head to the other side as he began marking up the other side of his neck, playing with Dan's hair gently while he did it.

Dan grabbed Phil's face, kissing him roughly. He wanted rough. Didn't want to be reminded that Phil was sweet. He wanted to be angry.

Phil let him kiss him roughly as he trailed his fingers down to his hips, caressing the skin there gently while he let Dan kiss him roughly.

Dan kissed him roughly, angrily. Pulling away only to breathe. "I hate you." He whispered, closing his eyes. He knew he didn't hate Phil, couldn't hate him. But he was hurt and angry and Phil was here and he wanted to be angry but Phil was kissing him softly and saying sweet things and Dan needed to express it someway.

"I know," Phil said softly, kissing him softly. He kissed his cheek and his forehead and then his nose and his lips again, moving his fingertips under his shirt and caressing the warm skin there.

Dan sighed, arching into Phil and whimpering.

Phil lifted Dan's shirt over his head as he began kissing his neck again, marking him up more just because he wanted to let everyone know that Dan was claimed, even if he was mad at Phil. He pulled away and got on his knees on the floor in front of the couch, pulling Dan closer by his knees. He slowly began working on the button of Dan's jeans and he unzipped them after, pulling them off of him slowly.

Dan took a deep breath, looking down at Phil between his legs. He leaned his head back, spreading his legs a bit. He bit his lip, not wanting to talk.

Phil smiled gently as Dan bit his lip. He began massaging his bulge over his boxers as he felt it grow under his hand. He looked up at him as he watched his expressions while he palmed him.

He closed his eyes, biting his lip harshly and bucked his hips up a bit. He whimpered, sucking in a deep breath.

Phil liked this, liked being in charge and controlling the speed of things. He leaned down to leave kisses over Dan's bulge, wanting to show he loved him whether or not he wanted it.

Dan gasped, biting his lip roughly. He bucked his hips and clenched his fists to keep himself from letting his hands run over Phil's body.

Phil held his hips down as he took Dan's boxers in his teeth and pulled them down with his teeth, looking up at him as he did so. He licked his lips and slowly ran his tongue over his slit, holding his hips down so he couldn't buck his hips up.

Dan was panting, not letting himself moan or touch Phil. He didn't want to care about Phil. He wanted to forget that this was even Phil. Wanted to pretend this was just a random hookup.

Phil moved his hands up Dan's thighs and spread his legs more, licking up his cock but not giving him what he wanted yet, as he trailed his tongue up to his nipple. He flicked his tongue against his nipple and sucked it into his mouth. Phil teased his nipple with his tongue, not used to Dan not moaning it was a bit disappointing. "Cat got your tongue?" He asked with a smirk as he pulled his jeans off.

Dan's entire body rocked forward, trying to get closer to Phil. "Fuck." He whined and wrapped his arms around Phil's shoulders. "Not fucking moaning for you." He said through clenched teeth.

Phil giggled and pulled his boxers and pants off, sitting on Dan's lap naked. "Are you sure about that?" He asked, grinding down on him in the middle of his sentence.

Dan gasped, moving to grip Phil's hips and held them still. "You're such a whore." He whispered.

"Damn right I am," Phil said, moving his arms to wrap around Dan's neck. He smirked at him and fought against his hands to move his hips against him.

Dan tossed his head back, biting his lip to keep from moaning as Phil moved on top of him.

Phil grabbed his chin to make him let go of his lip as he worked his hips onto him faster.

Dan's lips dropped open and he started panting harshly as Phil moved his hips harshly on top of him.

Phil giggled as he ran his fingers over Dan's nipples while he grinded on him. He moved his hand up to wrap around his throat loosely, just teasing him everywhere. He moved his hips in circles before he began grinding down on him faster than before, giving him a sort of lap dance as he tried to make him moan.

Dan tossed his head back, panting harshly and biting his lip out of habit.

"Please moan for me," Phil whispered in his ear as he ran his hands over Dan's nipples. "Want to hear your pretty noises," Phil said seductively as he began kissing at his neck again.

Dan looked at Phil. "Shut the fuck up." He said, bucking his hips up harshly.

Phil giggled and grabbed his hips, keeping them still as he slowed down his speed, slowly moving his ass against Dan's cock, looking at him with a smirk as he teased him.

Dan got angry, gripping Phil's hips, picking him up and walking forward until he had him against a wall, wrapping Phil's legs around his waist while he bucked his hips up against his.

** A good song for this part is Want It by SoMo**

Phil giggled and let out a low moan as he bucked his hips against Dan's. "I love you," he said even though Dan didn't want to hear it, because it was the truth and he wanted to share it. He leaned down and kissed Dan softly despite Dan's angry grinding.

Dan pulled away from the kiss, moving his lips down to Phil's neck and biting down harshly, sucking a mark into his pale skin.

Phil moaned and turned his head to the side, wanting Dan to mark him all over. Phil rolled his hips down onto him as he ran his fingers over his shoulders softly.

Dan bit down harder, sucking a dark mark on his skin. He yanked on Phil's boxers pulling them down, setting him down just long enough to get them off before he was picking up up again, grinding his naked cock against Phil's.

Phil moaned loudly, dropping his lips to kiss Dan's cheek and forehead softly, keeping his soft touches even though Dan didnt want them. He cupped his cheek as he grinded back onto him.

Dan moaned, "Gonna fuck you." He whispers, gripping Phil's hips tighter.

Phil smirked when he moaned. "Missed that sound," he said softly as he nodded.

Dan ignored him, gripping his hips tighter and walking towards his room. He kicked his door open and dropped Phil on his bed, crawling on top of him. He kissed him roughly, not letting Phil soften the kiss. He reached over, grabbing the lube and setting it on the bed.

Phil grinned and ran his fingers over Dan's neck and chest, feeling the warm skin that he had missed. "Need you," he whispered softly.

Dan grabbed the lube, slicking his fingers up before pushing one inside of Phil slowly. This was his first gentle action because, no matter how angry he was, he didn't want to hurt Phil.

Phil licked his lips and threw his head back. "I love you," he said, grinning as Dan fingered him open.

Dan bit his lip, angrily adding a second finger and scissoring them. He wasn't talking, trying to avoid it if he could.

Phil sighed happily and rolled his hips back onto Dan's fingers. It felt nice to have them inside of him, even if he was being a bit rough. He let out a soft moan as he backed his ass against his fingers.

Dan added his third finger, leaning down when he had Phil spread open and licking inside of him.

Phil's eyes grew as Dan's tongue went inside of him and he gasped, trying to pull away. "D-doesnt that gross you out?" Phil asked, not use to anybody's tongue in him.

Dan pulled away, flipping Phil over so he was laying on his stomach and smacked his ass, watching it turn pink before spreading his cheeks and licking inside of him again.

Phil gasped and bucked his hips forward when Dan slapped his ass. He moaned so loud it tore at his throat as he cried out, moving his ass against Dan's face.

"Face down, ass up." He whispers, moving Phil so he was on his knees with his face on the pillows. He licked inside of him again, pushing his tongue in as far as it would go.

Phil gripped the pillows as he did what Dan ordered him to, whines and moans leaving his mouth as he licked inside of him. The feeling was new and just an intense and hot as sex was and he began moving his ass back onto his face.

Dan squeezed his cheeks, spreading them more and licking inside of Phil. He loved the taste of Phil, loved the way he was reacting. He pulled back, smacking Phil's ass again. He wanted to hear him whine.

Phil cried out when Dan slapped his ass again as he rolled his hips forward. "A-aH I love you," he said again, wanting more, wanting Dan to make him scream.

Dan leaned forward, biting his ass cheek and leaving a hickey. He pulled away, pressing his thumb into the mark. He grabbed the lube, putting some on his cock, forgetting to even grab a condom and spread Phil's cheeks as he pushed inside of him, groaning loudly at the feeling of being inside of him without a condom.

Phil's eyes widened as he felt Dan enter him without a condom. He let out a loud moan and gripped the pillows tighter, burying his face into them to muffle his loud moans.

Dan pulled his hips back, pushing back in quickly and whining. "Fuck." He whimpered and started thrusting his hips faster.

Phil felt himself drooling onto the pillows as Dan fucked him quickly, loud moans leaving his mouth as he rocked his hips back onto his cock, wanting to have him as deep as possible. "Fuck yes," he moaned out, burying his face in the pillows again after.

Dan gripped his hips tightly, fucking into him faster. He rolled his hips quickly, angling Phil so he hit his prostate with every thrust.

Phi was screaming at this point, lifting his head up from the pillows to scream Dan's name as he came onto the bedsheets and his own stomach, the pleasure so good it made his vision go white and his head stirr.

Dan pulled out, turning Phil over on to his back again before spreading his legs and pushing back in quickly. "I'm not even close. Gonna use you." He says, kissing Phil's neck bucking his hips quickly and listening to Phil moan and whine loudly.

Phil whined and moaned as Dan abused his sensitive body, tears of pleasure filling his eyes as he dug his nails into Dan's shoulder, his soft touches long forgotten in Dan's rough fucking. "Fuck fuck fuck Dan! Fuck I love you fuck!" He cried out, drool falling from his mouth as he leaned his head back.

Dan leaned down, kissing Phil's neck and biting down harshly. He started moving his hips faster inside of him, purposefully aiming his hips so his cock would keep hitting Phil's sensitive prostate.

"God I love you," he cried out as he gripped Dan's hair tightly, tears of pleasure falling from his eyes as his body was abused. "Whatever you want. I'll do," Phil said between thrusts, the words slurred as he offered himself completely to Dan, loud moans falling from his mouth that he was sure was to irritate all of Dan's neighbors. "Dan! Dan! Dan!" He started screaming Dan's name, reminding himself who was making him feel like this.

Dan groaned, his hips speeding up as he got closer. He held Phil's legs open, pushing himself deeper inside of Phil. "Getting close?" He panted in his ear. "Gonna cum for me again?"

"F-fuck yes. Going to cum for you. I l-love you," he said, more tears of pleasure falling from his eyes as Dan went faster. "Dan! Dan! Fuck!" He screamed, shaking and whining under him as he was so close to his second climax.

Dan reached down, holding his hips down. "Don't fucking cum yet." He said in a dominant tone. "Not until I tell you to, understand me."

"Y-yes sir!" Phil said, knowing the nickname would excite him as he let Dan use his body, more screams falling from his lips. "I fucking love you!"

Dan held his hips down as he pounded into him, groaning as he got closer. "Fuck.. cum Phil. Now."

Phil let himself go as he reached his second orgasm, throwing his head back and shaking as he came for the second time that night, his cum covering his chest and stomach, some reaching his chin from how hard he orgasmed.

Dan kept fucking into Phil, holding his hips still so he couldn't squirm as he came deep inside of him. "Mine." He moaned out, forcing his cum deep inside of Phil.

Phil moaned as Dan filled him with his cum and claimed him. "Yours. Yours," he panted as he felt Dan's sticky cum filling his hot walls. It felt so nice and so intense all at once.

Dan pulled out, collapsing on his bed next to Phil, panting. "Fuck."

Phil was panting and his chest was heaving as he felt Dan's cum drip out of him. He looked up at the ceiling as he lied quietly next to him. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked quietly.

Dan didn't look up from his pillows. "I'm not going to kick you out right after we had sex." He whispered.

Phil felt a lump in his throat as it all came back to him. Dan was mad at him. He couldn't hold his hand and hug him tomorrow. Before he knew what was happening, he was crying.

Phil shook his head and sat up, looking for his clothes on the floor but giving up as he started sobbing, his legs giving out on him as he sat on the floor of Dan's bedroom, sobbing into his hands.

Dan got out of bed, looking around and realizing that Phil's clothes where downstairs. He left the room to get them so he'd feel less exposed.

Phil cried harder when Dan left the room and fuck he wanted to die again. That sex meant nothing. Meaningless sex. That's all it was to Dan. He was horny and he needed anyone. Phil choked out a sob as he swiped his tears on his hands which was useless as more just kept coming out.

Dan walked around the living room, picking up Phil's clothes from the various places in the room they'd been thrown to. He jogged back upstairs, handing Phil his clothes, hoping that would make him feel better.

Phil started getting dressed when Dan handed him his clothes and when he was done he sat on Dan's bed, crying. He couldn't bring himself to leave as he lied down and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry," He sobbed out, his body shaking as he cried.

Dan frowned, sitting next to him. He was still completely naked. He put his hand on Phil's shoulder, comforting him a bit. He was still upset. Still angry and hurt... but Phil was crying.

"I should leave," he said, forcing himself to stand up as he wiped his eyes off. "I'll see you later," he said sadly as he began making his way downstairs.

Dan followed, still naked but not even worrying about that. "Phil if.." he paused. "Why are you so upset?" He asked dumbly.

"Because this changes nothing," Phil said, turning around. "Because you're still mad at me and we just had meaningless sex and f-fuck," his voice cracked at the last part as more tears fell from his eyes.

Dan looked around, finding his underwear and pulling them on. "I didn't--" he paused, licking his lips and frowning. "I didn't f-force you into anything you didn't want to do right?" He whispered.

Phil shook his head as he looked down at his jeans. "This didn't change anything. I just.." he stopped, shaking his head and crying more. He wanted to die. He wanted to just give it all up already. What was the point of life anymore? Here he was crying in front of some guy he would do anything for but couldn't have. He was so close yet so far and Phil knew things would never be the same.

Dan bit his lip lightly. "I'm just.. I need time." He whimpered, close to crying as well. "I don't know why I..." he paused, sighing. "I don't know why I suggested you coming over. I shouldn't have."

"I'll see you later Dan," Phil said, opening his front door and walking out before he could break down in front of him again.

Dan walked forward, grabbing Phil's shoulder quickly. "Just don't-- don't do anything stupid alright."

Phil bit his lip and walked away, not sure if he could promise anything with the state he was in.

"Phil!" He called out, walking to his door. "For me? Don't please."

Phil looked down at his jeans as he got into his car, taking deep breaths before he started it, closing his door and blocking out Dan's voice. He looked ahead of him tiredly as he buckled himself in and began driving home in the dark, way too lonely night.

Dan sighed sadly and went back inside, closing the door. He didn't think Phil would do anything. Everything would be fine. Dan went to his room, his bed smelling strongly of Phil and he whimpered trying to keep from crying.

When Phil got home he slipped into the shower to wash off the smell of Dan lingering on him. He closed his eyes and hung his head as he felt more tears forming in his eyes. Just a week ago everything seemed so fine. He could've seen himself with Dan, but now he didn't know. He wasn't going to give up. He was going to keep sending him stupid cheesy stuff and try to show him how much he meant to him because he couldn't let go of him that easily. He hung his head as he began restarting his mind for a new day.

Dan tossed and turned in his bed, trying desperately to forget the way Phil sounded as Dan pleasured him. He laid his head on the pillow, inhaling deeply and sighing when it smelled like Phil's shampoo and sweat. He sighed, eventually falling asleep.

Phil got out of the shower and slipped into bed, the smell of Dan still somehow lingering on him and it made him angry. He grabbed Dan's hoodie as he hugged it close and buried his face in it before he let the exhaustion catchup with him, his breathing going soft as he fell asleep curled up to Dan's hoodie.


	23. 23

Dan woke up the next day, running late. "Fuck!" He shot out of bed, getting dressed quickly and brushing his teeth as fast as he could. He didn't have time to straighten his hair so he had to leave with his natural hair.

Phil woke up earlier than usual as he got dressed tiredly in whatever again and slid his shoes on, putting his backpack on his shoulder as his stomach grumbled and he realized he hadn't eaten in a long time. He remembered Dan and he frowned, deciding he'd buy him lunch today if he didn't have the money. He drove his way to school and prepared for another day of loneliness. Chris didn't bother coming up to him and he was thankful for that as he didn't see Dan, and he wondered if he wasn't going to come in.

Dan ran in the building, happy he had made it with time to spare. He felt like everyone was staring at his hair, though he knew probably nobody cared. He looked around, walking to his locker quickly trying to avoid eye contact with everyone.

Phil pulled out his phone and texted Dan a picture of an arctic fox, just because they're cute and he looked stress. Phil turned his screen off and gasped as he saw the amount of hickeys covering his neck. He ran into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. They were literally covering his neck.

Dan's phone buzzed and he looked at it, chuckling lightly. The myriad of pictures for the day were already starting.

Phil ran his fingers over the hickeys with a sad sigh, blushing slightly when he realized there was no way to hide them. When he walked out he looked at Dan's neck to see he had just as many hickeys as Phil did, maybe more. Phil blushed as he looked down at his wrist and saw the rose was still there, though everything else had washed off. He ran his fingers over it right as the bell rang, snapping him out of his head as he pulled his drama stuff out of his bag and walked to class.

Dan groaned, grabbing his books and rushing to English. He felt strange being at school with his hair like this and even though he'd overslept this morning, he felt like he hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep.

Phil sat through drama class quietly, paying attention as he actually liked what the teacher was talking about for once. The class went by pretty quickly and soon enough Phil was walking out of it and to his locker, grabbing the stuff he'd need for English. He avoided eye contact with Dan and quietly walked to his English class, feeling sheepish around him because of how desperate he had been last night. He called him "sir" and that was enough to make him facepalm.

Dan kept his head down, trying to avoid people. PJ wasn't in school again and he was alone. He was caught up in his thoughts when suddenly his back hit a row of lockers and a hand was around his neck, squeezing. "Hey freak." Dan tried to fight against Marcus but he was stronger then him. "I thought for sure we'd gotten rid of you. Yet here you are. What's it going to take to get you to fucking leave?"

Phil heard the sound and turned his head, as he walked into his English class but stopped when he realized it was Dan. Phil threw down his backpack and gripped Marcus's arm, throwing it off of Dan as he kicked him in the stomach. "What is your fucking problem?!" Phil growled. 

Suddenly Marcus had him pinned against the locker, his hand on Phils throat. He gripped at his hand as he felt his breath leaving him. He shook and as hard as he could, kicked Marcus in the chest.

"Get off of him!" Dan yelled, pushing Marcus as hard as he could, causing him to fall. "Mess with me all you fucking want but don't you DARE touch him."

Phil held a grip on his arm as he shook his head. "No. Don't stand up for me. I don't need you getting hurt," Phil said, rubbing his hand over his throat. "Come on, let me walk you to class," Phil said, ready to kick Marcus's ass if he tried anything as he led Dan to his next class, holding onto his arm gently.

Dan looked over his shoulder, watching Marcus pick himself off the ground and walk towards his next class looking angry. Dan stopped Phil. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine. Really," Phil said, letting go of his arm. "He hurt you more than hurt me, I should be asking you that."

Dan rolled his eyes. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be," Phil said with a frown. He cleared his throat before things could get awkward. "You should get to class," he said gently.

Dan nodded, "Thank you for that." He says, lifting his bag on his shoulder.

Phil nodded and began walking back to his class, wondering how the fuck the teachers didn't see or hear that. All the teachers at his school were oblivious fucks.

Dan walked in his class. He was worried because he'd really pissed Marcus off and Phil wouldn't always be there. Dan knew something else would happen today, he just had a feeling.

Phil walked into class late and everyone's eyes immediately went to his hickeys. "Sorry I was in the restroom," he lied, sitting in his seat awkwardly.

Dan tapped his fingers on his desk worriedly. He sighed, today was going to be hell.

Phil did the assignment that his teacher gave him as he actually focused, refusing to let himself think of Dan as he wanted to keep doing well in this class at the least.

The bell rang and Dan jumped up, trying to get to his locker and his next class before Marcus caught him.

Phil walked to his next class with a sigh, history. He wanted his classes to just be over already. He was starving but worried more about getting Dan fed first. 

That's how the rest of the day went, Dan rushing from class to class trying to avoid Marcus. Eventually it was lunch and he sighed, finally calming down a bit. He walked to the vending machines. He had a dollar on him today which could buy him a drink.

Phil walked to get lunch as he waited in line, glad it was pretty short today so he could hurry up and get Dan food.

Dan walked to his usual table, sitting alone and opening his Pepsi.

Phil got his food and walked over to Dan, handing him the tray as he shook his head when Dan tried to object, rolling his eyes and walking away. He bit his lip as he saw Chris, debating whether or not to sit next to him. He decided against it as he walked out of the cafeteria and to the grassy spot he sat in yesterday. He lied down again as he didn't want to text Dan, not wanting to annoy him. He needed to give him time.

Dan looked down at his tray of food. He smiled softly and started eating slowly. He looked around for Phil but didn't see him.

Phil quickly learned that this spot was his favorite of the school. It was sunny but also had it's shaded parts making it easy for Phil to relax peacefully. He pulled out his phone and decided to say sorry for Chris for being an ass. "Hey.. im sorry for how I've been acting. Just going through shit. Just give me time." He sent it with a quiet sigh.

Dan got up, having finished as much food as he could eat. He was walking towards the trashcan when someone hit the tray causing the food to go all over Dan and Dan to slip and fall on his ass. He looked up, seeing Marcus. His eyes widened and he tried to get up.

Phil yawned and tucked his phone in his pocket as he looked up at the sky, noticing more shapes in the clouds and he grinned. He wanted to text Dan, but he knew to give him time. He closed his eyes as he let out another tired yawn.

Dan covered his face as food was being spilled over his head. Marcus and all his friends seemed to all have decided to use Dan as a trashcan today. They poured their trays over his head and their drinks as well and every time he tried to move someone blocked his way. Eventually they where done and he jumped up, rushing to the bathroom, trying to keep from crying.

Phil opened his eyes again slowly to watch one of the trees around him, watching it's leaves move slowly in the wind. He felt calm and okay for a bit being out in nature, even though he was alone. If anything, being alone made it better.

Dan got some paper towels, trying to clean his shirt off. He knew it would stain though and he'd have to throw it away. One of his favorite shirts. His breathing was shaky and he wanted to scream. Why did they hate him so much? What did he do?

Phil turned his music on low next to him, too lazy to get his headphones out as he hummed softly to the beat. When Muse came on a bitter taste came into his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to turn it off, having to deal with the memories of being with Dan.

Dan started trying to get the food and different drinks out of his hair but it wasn't working and he looked and smelled like food and he sighed, knowing he'd have to just go home and shower. He grabbed his bag and walked out of the bathroom, heading towards the door.

Phil smiled when Undisclosed Desires came on and he turned it up slightly, rubbing his eyes and looking at the sky again.

Dan walked out, hoping to avoid people. No one had helped while it was happening and everyone laughed. He just wanted to go home, he saw someone sitting outside but didn't think anything of it as he started walking away quickly.

Phil noticed a cloud that looked like a dolphin and he turned his head to look at it, smiling softly. He looked for more shapes as he let out another tired yawn. He definitely needed more sleep. He also needed to go to math for at least a day to make up on late assignments.

Dan made it home, pulling off his clothes and throwing them away before running to the bathroom and getting in the shower.

When the bell rang Phil sighed, grabbing his backpack and walking to math. He didn't see Dan in it and he figured he must've skipped. He got his late assignments, two, which weren't as bad as he thought they would be, he began taking notes for an upcoming quiz. He groaned at the thought of a quiz when he knew barely anything. He decided to send Dan his notes when he got home so he'd be ready. The class went by okay, Chris patting him on the shoulder once to tell him it was okay and that he'd give him his space.

Dan started scrubbing his body, getting the food off of him and he sighed sadly. He got shampoo, rubbing it in his hair.

When they had free time to work on assignments, Chris tapped him on the shoulder again. "Did you hear what happened to Dan at lunch?" Phil immediately sat up in his seat, facing him. "What happened?" Chris told him what happened and Phil frowned deeply. "It's all my fault.. I could've been there I could've stopped it," Phil said sadly, running his fingers through his hair.

Once the smell of food was gone Dan rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around himself as he walked to his room to get dressed.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your job to protect Dan 24/7," Chris said, patting his head. Phil shook his head.  "That's what I want to do. He doesn't deserve what those fuckers give him. I just want to make sure he's okay all the time," Phil said sadly.

Once Dan was dressed in a pair of basketball short, no shirt, he crawled into bed. He was upset. Why did they all hate him so much? What had he done?

Chris patted his arm as the bell rang. "He'll come around," he told him gently and Phil nodded, packing up his stuff and making his way home.


	24. 24

TRIGGER WARNING: CUTTING

Dan curled up in bed, trying not to cry. He wrapped his blanket around his body and tried to go to sleep.

As Phil drove home, his mind wandered. What if Dan didn't forgive him? What if he was stuck chasing after something he'd never have again? He couldn't bring himself to cry as he watched the road. "I need time," Phil repeated out loud, snorting after. "No. You need better friends. You need a better life. You need me to leave you alone," he said, shaking his head as he swallowed down the lump in his throat. Why couldn't he just leave Dan alone like he wanted? Why was he so fucking obsessed with him?

Dan heard the door open downstairs and his moms shoes walking across the floor. Dan got up, walking downstairs. "Momma.." he said sadly and she turned. "Hey baby. What's the matter?"

When Phil got home he took deep breaths as he felt himself breaking down again. Fuck. Why was he like this? He felt his eyes fill with tears as he gripped his kitchen counter. He was starving but maybe that's what he deserved. He shook his head at his disgusting thoughts as he started crying again. Why did he have to ruin things? He was such a fuck up. That's all he was. He was so done with himself. He felt himself crying harder as he walked into the bathroom, looking at his own reflection with disgust.

"Momma the new shirt you bought me." He says and looks down. "I had to throw it away."

Phil bit his lip harshly and started the water to the shower, trying to calm his breathing and failing as more tears fell from his eyes. He needed something. He needed release. He needed a joint or.. his eyes locked on a razor on their counter and he felt more tears fill his eyes as he slowly grabbed it.

"What happened?" She asked and Dan started crying and told his mom about what happened and what had been happening for a while. By the end of it she was pissed. "I'm calling in tomorrow and going to your school. I'm going to have a very serious talk with your principal."

Phil felt himself shaking as he ran his fingers over it. Two weeks ago he never would've thought hed be here. But here he was and he couldn't bring himself to turn back. He began turning the razor and bending it, trying to snap it open.

Dan nodded, not having the will to say no. He sat down on the couch and cried while she wrapped her arms around him and held him.

When Phil finally snapped the razor open he took out the blade and looked at it in his hand. It was such a small thing. Just a small metal thing. He closed his eyes as he stepped into the shower and sat on the floor, taking deep breaths over and over again but he felt choked. He felt like somebody was holding him down and he could hardly breathe. There was a strong pain in his chest and he opened his eyes once to look down at the rose on his wrist. He left the rose there and went a bit lower, taking a deep breath before he was sliding the blade across his wrist.

Dan talked about everything that had been happening. He talked about Phil and how he finally thought he'd been falling for someone and then finding out about the dare and about how he'd been skipping classes because he couldn't handle it. He cried and so did she and she promised things would change.

Phil looked down at the cut as he cried, biting his lip as he did the action again. And again. And again. He covered his wrist in imperfections. He was tired of being perfect anyway. He put the razor down when his wrist was covered in them and found himself laughing as he cried. Who knew his life would end up here? He laughed and sobbed at the same time. He was going insane. He was insane. He ran his fingertips over the cuts and bit down his lip at the burn they brought. Oh well. He needed this.

And as they talked Dan found that he was feeling slightly better. He told her about his addiction and how he was trying to quit but he slipped up when everything went down with Phil and she patted his shoulder and promised to help him in any way she could. He told her he thought he really needed a job to help with everything and she finally agreed.

Phil stopped the water a bit later and shivered as he stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and frowned when his cuts began dripping blood. He took a wet washcloth and presed it against them as he walked to his room, lying on his bed as he felt himself getting lightheaded from the lack of blood. He had only done one arm though and it wasn't that bad. He needed to eat but he couldn't bring himself to move as he stared at his ceiling and let the pain of hunger prick his stomach.

Dan went to his room, happy that his mom agreed to let him look for a part time job.

Phil closed his eyes as small weak tears fell down the sides of his face and wet the pillow under him. He grabbed his phone and did the only thing he could bring himself to do. "Come over?" He texted Chris, laying back on the bed and smiling softly when he immediately answered. "On my way."

Dan's phone lit up with a text message from PJ, asking how school was today.

Phil got dressed in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and kept the wash cloth around his wrist, which was soaked in his blood. When Chris arrived, Phil collapsed in his arms immediately, and Chris didn't complain, just took him to Phils room and held him while Phil cried into his shoulder.

Dan told him to come over so he could tell him and PJ agreed, saying he'd sneak out since he was grounded.

Chris ran his fingers over Phils back comfortably while Phil just cried, letting it all out. When he calmed his breathing and his crying stopped, he pulled away slowly. "I did something really bad.." He whispered, looking down at his wrist. Chris looked down and he felt tears fill his eyes. He shook his head and pulled him into another hug, which Phil happily allowed as he sniffled into his shoulder. "I'm sorry.."

PJ showed up, smiling as he saw Dan's mom there. "PJ honey! It's been too long." She hugged him. "Dan's in his room."

Phil ended up with his head in Chris's lap as Chris ran his fingers through his hair. Phil closed his eyes and let himself be comforted as he let out deep breaths. "What if he doesn't forgive me...?" He asked Chris, looking up at him sadly. 

Chris just shook his head and ran his fingers through Phils hair. "Dan might be angry and upset but he could never kick you out of his life."

Phil felt his eyes fill with tears again."We had sex again.."

PJ walked to Dan's room, walking inside without knocking like he always did. Dan was sat on the bed, staring at the floor. He looked up with sad eyes. "School sucked."

"When?" Chris asked, furrowing his eyebrows. It explained Phils hickeys.

"Yesterday.." Phil said sadly. "I...it just happened but it didn't change anything. We had meaningless sex and I hate it. I hate it. I wish it never happened." 

Chris shushed him softly as he ran his fingers through his hair over and over again, the action soothing Phil. "Can we order a pizza?" Phil asked weakly. He was starving.

Dan told him everything. Told him about having sex with Phil even though he was still hurting and he told him about what Marcus did before class and during lunch and PJ wrapped his arms around him. "I'm gonna kick his ass tomorrow." PJ promised, he'd had enough of his shit.

Chris nodded and began ordering a pizza for him and Phil. After they had eaten a bit, Chris lied down and Phil rested his head on his chest, entangling their legs. He had cuddled Chris some times when he was younger but they hadn't done it in years. He missed it some. He lifted the blanket over them as he closed his eyes and felt himself falling asleep curled up to his bestfriend.

The next morning Dan woke up to a note from PJ saying he'd already left for school and that he'd see him there. Dan got up and started getting dressed.

Phil woke up still cuddled up to Chris and he smiled weakly, resting his head on Chris's shoulder. "We have to go to school.." He said sadly, shaking Chris slightly. Chris stirred awake and looked down at him, yawning and nodding as he got up with Phil, not wanting to wear Phils clothes as he said he'd just wear the clothes he wore yesterday. Phil nodded and got dressed in a long sleeve shirt, looking down at his cuts with a frown, covering them with his sleeve. He put a hoodie on and finished getting ready, driving him and Chris to Chris's house so he could grab his backpack before he was driving them to school.

Dan walked into school, hearing the sound of fighting. He followed it and saw Marcus on the ground and PJ on top of him, punching him in the face over and over.

When they got to school, Chris led Phil to his locker. Phil heard yelling and the sound of a fight and he worried it was Dan as he immediately went to the crowd, pushing people to see PJ on top of Marcus and he sighed, relieved and then stared surprised as PJ kicked Marcus's ass. He didn't want to watch the fight and turned away as he walked back to his locker, getting the stuff he'd need for drama before he held Chris's arm and led him away from the crowd, just wanting to go to drama and be away from everyone.

It took three students and two teachers to get PJ off of Marcus and Dan watched as he was escorted to the principals office. A teacher helped Marcus up and lead him to the nurse. Dan stood in the middle of the hall as everyone walked away.

Phil took out his phone and texted Dan a picture of a bear cub before he tucked his phone away. "What if I give up Chris?.." He asked quietly. "Not at giving up with Dan... just at life.."

Chris shook his head and put his hand on Phils knee. "You can't Phil. You can't let yourself think things like that.."

Dan glanced down at his phone, smiling at the picture and sending Phil a picture of a lion. He looked up as his mom walked in the building, walking with her towards the principals office.

Phil shook his head. "I can't help it.. I'm lost Chris. I don't know what to do anymore," Phil said, running his fingers over his cuts lightly. He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out to see a picture of a lion from Dan. He put his phone away again and let out a heavy sigh. "He said.. He told me not to do anything stupid.. and I did.." Phil said, hanging his head. 

"Hey.. it's okay. You can't do it again though Phil. You can't. Please," Chris begged with a soft look.

They had to wait outside in the office while they dealt with PJ until the principal called them inside his office. "Mrs. Howell, what can I do for you?"

"I can't promise anything," Phil said weakly, turning to the teacher when she started talking. Chris frowned and let out a heavy sigh. Chris needed to talk to Dan about this. He knew that Dan was going through pain too, but he had to let Dan know that Phil was thinking of suicide. He didn't know what it'd do, but at least he'd make Dan aware.

"I would like to know how it's possible that my child can get pushed around and shoved into lockers and food dumped on him on a daily basis and not one of your teachers ever sees a damn thing." She says immediately. "Can you explain that to me?"

Phil sat doodling on a paper throughout the class. He knew a daisy and a rose. He drew an owl on a book and a bear cub. He had always loved drawing and people always said he had talent, but he didn't see it. He drew a lion with its tail wrapped around the bear cub and he drew a picture of an arctic fox and a shiba inu playing. He sat quietly doodling throughout the entire class, not hearing a word the teacher said.

Dan's mom talked with the principal for a long time, arguing and basically just raising hell. "This is supposed to be a safe place for students and I want to be ensured that my child will be safe. So something needs to change and, believe me, it will change before I leave this school today."

He showed Chris the drawing and he looked at it a bit confused but smiled. "That's cute," he whispered, pointing to the bear cub and the lion. Phil smiled gently at the meaning behind it and nodded, not having time to color his drawing but he neatly folded it and stuck it in his pocket to give to Dan.

The bell rang and Dan sighed, his mom was still yelling at the principal and Dan saw students leaving their classrooms.

Phil walked out of class with Chris and grabbed the stuff he'd need for english. He noticed Dan wasn't in the hallway and frowned, playing with the paper in his pocket as he walked to English class.

Dan pulled his phone out, knowing Mr. Gilbert wouldn't dare say something to him about it while Dan's mom was already pissed at him.

Phil sat down in his English class with a sigh. They were preparing for an essay that Phil didn't care about as he ran his fingertips over his cuts gently. He had more imperfections now. Ones that he could show, and he was relieved to not have to pretend to be perfect anymore. He didn't care about what anyone thought. He worked on an assignment the teacher gave them as he hummed softly. He couldn't wait to go to his spot at lunch.

Dan saw that Phil had received and read his message but hadn't answered. He sighed and clicked on his messages with PJ, asking if he was okay.

The class went by slowly but Phil didn't mind much. This class was pretty easy to him, and he was passing it with an A. He chewed on his bottom lip as he found himself doodling on the corner of his English assignment. He drew a fuzzy teddy bear with a top hat and a bowtie. He smiled at the meaning behind it as he pulled out his yellow marker and colored in the top hat and bowtie. He wondered if Dan still had the teddy bear or if he threw it away like he did to Phil.

PJ texted back with a picture of his black eye saying "Marcus looks worse."

Phil continued doing the assignment as the class went by. When the bell rang he quickly got his stuff together and went to see if Dan was in the hallway. He hoped he hadn't gotten involved in the fight.

Dan chuckled, glancing up as his mom raised her voice again. He sighed and texted PJ back. "Did you get suspended?"

Phil didn't see Dan in the hallway and sighed sadly as he got his history stuff together. He bit his lip as he sat down in history and pulled his phone out debating whether or not to text him. His finger hovered over messages and he let out a breathy sigh as decided to just try. If Dan got annoyed of him it didn't matter anyway. He was mad at him either way. He sent a picture of a sad looking corgi. He tucked his phone into his pocket along with the drawing as he watched the teacher begin talking.

Dan's phone vibrated and he checked it and chuckled, typing out a message. "Stuck in the office. Mom is mad af"

Phil felt his phone vibrate and he saw the message from Dan. He chewed on his lip as he let out an irritated sigh. Why was Dan talking to him? He didn't get it. He was confused and upset. If Dan was angry why wasn't he showing it? He sent a gif of a bunch of puppies running and tripping over each other, giggling quietly as he hid his phone from the teacher. He didn't know how to talk to Dan and pictures were easier.

Dan read the message, deciding not to reply as his mom was finally getting ready to leave. "Do you want to come home with me or stay for the rest of the day?" She asked him sweetly.

Phil saw Dan read the message and didn't reply and he sighed sadly. He should've said something but he didn't know what. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead and everyone treats you like shit please take this dog gif," he mumbled to himself. He was such a fuck up.

"Home please." He says immediately and she nods. "When he comes back tomorrow things better be different." She said and waits for Dan to get his bag and she signed him out, walking out with him.

The class went by quickly and Phil looked for Dan at lunch, but he didn't see him. He sighed as he sat down in his spot, pulling his knees up to his chest and going on his tumblr to watch cute dog gifs and look at stupid jokes. It was almost too similar to the nights he spent at Dan's. Almost. Except he was missing Dan and his life was a complete mess now.

Dan got home and his mom kissed his cheek, promising they'd eat dinner together tomorrow and leaving to work the night shift. His dad wasn't coming home either. Dan sighed, deciding to walk around town and see if there was any places hiring.

Phil was glad when Chris sat next to him as he smiled at him softly. Chris handed him a bag of chips and he took them thankfully and began eating. Chris began running his fingers over the grass slightly in silence before he looked over at Phil and hesitated on whether or not to say it. "I think that you should tell Dan what you're thinking." 

Phil choked on his chip and began coughing it up, shaking his head frantically. "You want me to tell him that I see myself as a fuckup and I want to kill myself?!"

Dan walked into different stores, getting applications. He'd never had a job before but he thought he could learn quickly.

Chris sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "He'd want to know.."

Phil shook his head, snorting. "No he wouldn't. He doesn't need to know. It's not like me killing myself would affect him anyway." 

Chris shook his head, a bit irritated. "Phil he cares about you a lot."

Phil snorted again. "Then why was he saying how much he hated a few nights ago?"

Dan walked into a small coffee shop, asking for an application. He filled out while he was there and handing it to them. They promised to call for an interview.

Chris shook his head and frowned deeply. "He was angry and upset. He didn't mean it Phil."

Phil just shook his head again and lied down. "He hates me Chris. I hate me. I'm such a useless fuck up," Phil said sadly.

"I'm going to talk to Dan about how you're feeling if you wont," Chris said sadly. 

Phil sat up again and sighed. "He doesn't like me Chris. He wouldn't care. Hed just think I was doing it for attention. You can't tell him."

Dan walked out smiling. He really hoped he got the job at the coffee shop. Everyone seemed so nice there, different then school.

Chris bit his lip and looked hesitant. Phil sighed and shook his head again. "Hed only hate me more if he knew." Chris nodded and leaned back on the grass. "Okay.. I won't tell him." Chris looked out into the distance as his mind debated whether or not to tell Dan. He knew that he had to. Phil would want to know if Dan was suicidal.

Dan was on his way home when his phone rang. He answered it and it was the owner of the coffee shop, wanting him to come in on Saturday for an interview. Dan agreed immediately and smiled widely as he hung up.

The lunch bell rang and Phil slowly got up, grabbing his backpack and walking off before Chris could say anything else. He didn't need Dan knowing anything that was on his mind and he worried that Chris would tell him, but Chris was his bestfriend and he said he wouldn't tell.

NOTES; I do NOT encourage cutting in any way! If you ever need someone to talk to or someone to listen, my instagram is @daddylxster and please feel free to talk to me any time! I will listen! ♡♡ Stay strong, you're all lovely.


	25. 25

Dan was happy. Everything was finally working out. He made it home, closing and locking the door. He walked to the kitchen, looking for something to cook but finding nothing.

Phil sat through math stressed and upset, hating the stupid fucking subject.

Chris pulled out his phone and texted Dan, finding his number from when PJ texted it to him. "We need to talk about something. It's important and I think you'd want to know. Can we meet somewhere? -Chris" he sent the text and hoped Phil wouldn't be too upset with him.

Dan's phone lit up with an unknown number. He checked it and sighed quietly. Chris was probably going to tell him he was being too hard on Phil. He rolled his eyes and typed out his address and sending it to Chris. He knew Chris had never been here before and he'd probably be shocked how poor Dan actually is.

Chris saw that Dan texted back and he thanked him before he stuck his phone away, debating on what he'd tell Dan. Hed just tell him the truth, but he also worried that maybe he'd think Phil told him to tell Dan. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He'd just tell Dan everything. His cuts, what he said, his thoughts.

Dan walked around his house, cleaning up a bit since he knew he'd have company. He sat on the couch, waiting for him to show up.

When his final class ended, Chris grabbed his stuff as quick as possible and began walking to the address Dan sent, which was pretty far from the school. He wondered how Dan walked this everyday as his legs grew exhausted.

Dan got up, getting himself a drink and walking back to the couch and playing on his phone a bit.

When Chris finally arrived at Dan's house he knocked nervously, going over the script in his head and sighing.

Dan set his drink on the coffee table and walked to the door. He opened it slowly, seeing Chris there. "Hi Chris. Come on in."

Chris smiled nervously and nodded. "Hi Dan." He walked in and looked around a bit before smiling at him. "Can I sit?" He asked, motioning towards the couch.

Dan nodded, moving to sit on the couch as well. "What'd you have to talk to me about?"

Chris bit at his lip nervously before talking. "I think Phil might try to kill himself," he said, not knowing what else to say besides the truth. He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked at Dan with worry.

Dan sat up straighter, getting serious immediately. "Why do you think that?" He asked worriedly.

"He's been really weird..Quiet and just not Phil.. He's said some pretty bad things and he just keeps talking about how much of a fuck up he is and how much he hates himself," Chris explained. "And.. he cut himself."

Dan took a deep breath, biting his lip and stood up. He started pacing and he glanced at Chris. "What should I do? Should I talk to him?" He asked, running his hands through his hair. "I mean.. I'm still u-upset about everything that happened but I don't want him to kill himself!"

Chris didn't know what to say. He ran his fingers over his jeans and tried to think. "I don't know... not even I could help him and I've always been able to help him. He won't listen to me and he won't promise to not doing it.." Chris said, feeling worry eat him inside.

"This can't be happening." He mummers, his breathing speeding up and he started pacing faster. "This can't be happening. Oh god." He collapsed on the floor, his breathing erratic.

Chris got up and immediately began helping him. "Hey breathe. Breathe." He got up and searched his kitchen for a wash cloth. He found one and pressed it against Dan's forehead.

Dan looked up, thankful for his help. "He c-can't do that Chris." He says and starts crying. Though Dan often thought about death and what it would be like to die the idea of Phil ceasing to exist, even if Dan was already dead, was immensely painful to think about.

"We'll figure it out," Chris said gently, keeping the wash cloth pressed against his forehead and getting tissues from Dan's end table for him.

Dan nodded and blew his nose. "Fuck I'm a mess." He stood up and looked around. "Fuck do you want anything to drink or something?"

Phil drove home in silence, when he went to unlock the door he found it was already unlocked and walked inside, confused. He saw his mother standing against the counter, with her arms crossed. "You're home early," he said, about to walk past her when she held up her hand to stop him. She held up his report card with her eyes narrowed. "What is this?" She asked angrily, pointing to the C- he had in math class and the amount of absences.

Chris eventually left and Dan checked the mail, seeing his report card. He opened it, seeing he was passing everything but math. He sighed and set it on the counter, knowing his mom didn't care about his grades.

Phil was speechless and he shrugged nervously. "We did not raise you like this!" His mother yelled immediately. "So you think just because we're not home often you can skip school and do poorly?!"

Phil shrugged again. "I'm doing good in every subject but math..." 

His mother looked insulted at what he said. "Does that matter?! We raised you to try your hardest at EVERYTHING!"

Phil stared sadly and nodded. 

"So you were skipping?! You think that's okay?!" She yelled, pointing at his absences.

He walked upstairs, laying in bed and thinking. He let his thoughts take over and he sighed. "It feels like I'm being held under water and I have no way of coming up for air."

Phil looked down at his hands in guilt. "You're becoming a disappointment!" His mother said, slamming her hand down on the counter. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you!" 

Phil looked into her eyes as tears filled his. "I've always been a disappointment," he said quietly before he began walking up to his room, leaving her standing speechless.


	26. 26

Dan sighed, shaking his head. "Fuck. I have to get out of here." He says and stands up, deciding to walk around town.

Phil locked his door and sat back on his bed with a sigh. His room was becoming filthy and he stank from not washing himself. He shook his head and got up to actually shower and clean himself as his mother's words echoed in his head.

Dan started walking, sticking his headphones in and blaring his music. He needed to get out of his own head.

Phil slipped into the shower and sighed relaxed under the warmth. He picked up his shampoo and began washing his hair first since it was dirty and bothering him. He closed his eyes and listened to himself breathe and the sound of the water as he tried to resist the terrible urges he was getting.

Dan walked all the way across town, to the lake and sat down, leaning back and looking at the sky.

Phil smelt his shampoo and smiled softly, missing his old scent of creativity and kindness. The smell was faded now and didn't bring him as much joy as it used to. He finished washing his hair and began washing his body, feeling better as he tried washing off his sadness and guilt.

Dan stayed there, watching the way the colors changed and morphed from daylight to darkness and then the stars danced across the sky like freckles and he smiled. The world could be beautiful, sometimes he just had to sit back and remember that.

Phil washed himself off and let himself soak under the water a bit, relaxing his mind and body some. He cleaned his face off and let out a sigh when he was done. He turned the water off and walked into his room, locking his door again as he slid on Dan's hoodie and a pair of his fuzzy pajama bottoms, needing some warmth. He began cleaning his room tiredly.

Hours passed and Dan didn't move from his spot. He watched the sky, trying to count the stars.

Once his room was a little more in shape, he sat on his bed and stuck his hands in Dan's hoodie pocket, inhaling his scent that still somehow lingered on it. He smelt sweet and Phil missed it. He hugged his arms around himself as he went downstairs to get food, seeing his mother and father talking angrily. He ignored them and grabbed cherries and brought them back up to his room, eating them as he remembered what Dan said the first time they kissed.

Dan's phone vibrated but he didn't bother checking it. He was happy here. Content away from all his worries. He didn't feel like going back to reality yet.

Phil ate the cherries quietly. He had missed the taste of them. He used to eat them all the time but since he was so happy when he was with Dan, he usually ate junk food. Phil decided he would go to track meet that weekend, needing to work off some of the extra weight he had gained. That was in two days and he found himself being thankful that the weekend was coming up, needing an escape desperately.

Dan checked the time and got up, walking towards his house. It was late, not safe to be out this late. But Dan didn't care, walking quickly to his house.

Phil ate his bowl of cherries and picked up his marker from the floor, drawing a small cherry on his hip and smiling softly. He didn't know why but he had always loved drawing on himself. He smiled and drew plants and stars on his stomach as he lifted Dan's hoodie up slightly.

Dan made it home, walking inside and going towards the bathroom to take a shower.

Phil sighed and leaned back on his bed, closing his eyes and letting himself relax a bit. Things had been so stressful and saddening and he needed a break. He stood up and turned his light off before he crawled into bed, the warmth of Dan's hoodie making him feel better as he snuggled into his blanket. He picked up his phone and texted a moon emoji to Dan, a silent goodnight. Afterwards he set his phone next to him and shut his eyes.

Dan got out of the shower. Walking to his room. He saw the text from Phil and smiled, locking his phone. He put a pair of boxers on and crawled into bed.

Phil fell asleep quicker than usual as he hugged Dan's hoodie around himself and let himself feel okay for a little.

~ Time Skip ~

Dan woke up the next day, sitting up and getting dressed quickly. He was hoping to get to school early so he could have time to talk to Phil.

Phil woke up with his mom's banging on the door like usual and he opened his eyes slowly, yawning and sitting up. He got up and threw on a collared shirt and his skinny jeans along with one of his old jackets and then threw on his shoes. He brushed his teeth and fixed his hair before he made his way downstairs, his stomach rumbling.

Dan got to school, grabbing his books out of his locker before walking to Phil's and leaning against it while he waited for him.

Phil grabbed a handful of cherries and carried them to his car, putting them in his lap as he drove to school. When he got there he locked his car doors and began making his way into the school.

Dan noticed people giving him strangle looks as he waited for Phil but he pretended he didn't notice and that it didn't bother him. He checked the time on his phone, trying to make it look like he wasn't worried.

Phil walked into the school and gulped when he saw Dan leaning on his locker. He awkwardly walked up to him as his heart raced in his chest. "Um yes?" He asked nervously.

Dan looked up, pocketing his phone. "We need to talk." He said simply and started walking away.

Phil furrowed his eyebrows as he looked for Chris, not seeing him. He wouldn't have... He followed Dan quietly, nervous of what he'd say.

Dan walked to the bathroom, looking inside the stalls making sure no one was in there before he turned to Phil and pulled his long sleeve up, wincing when he saw the cuts.

Phil pulled his arm away, embarrassed and upset. He pulled his sleeve down and looked at him sadly.

Dan looked at him sadly, almost angrily. "Why?" He asked simply.

Phil said nothing in response and looked down at his sleeves as he pulled them over his hands.

Dan sighed sadly and crossed his arms. "Can you talk to me?"

"What do I say?" Phil asked quietly, leaning on the bathroom counter.

"You tell me why!" Dan says then, fighting to keep his voice low.

"I don't know," Phil said quietly. "I was overwhelmed and stressed and lonely."

Dan pursed his lips, "So you hurt yourself?"

"Yeah I did," Phil said bluntly because he wasn't going to lie to him anymore.

Dan inhaled deeply and exhaled through his nose. "Just.. when?"

"Two nights ago," he said, playing with his sleeves.

"Phil." Dan said and grabs his face. "Everything is going to be okay."

Phil shook his head and pulled away quietly. "That's a lie and we both know it."

"It's not." Dan says and pulls away, suddenly angry. "If I can get my shit together and find happiness in my life then so can you."

Phil didn't say anything, but didn't want to leave the bathroom. He traced patterns on his jeans and looked up at him. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll try." Dan says. "That's all I can ask of you, is to try."

"I'll try," Phil said sadly, looking at the lines in his palms.

"Good." Dan says simply and pulls him close, hugging him.

Phil didn't know how to react to Dan hugging him. It felt wrong and distant but he hugged back, burying his face in Dan's shoulder.

Dan tightened his grip on Phil, hugging him tightly before pulling away. "How about we try this whole friendship thing again?"

Phil felt tears fill his eyes and he nodded, gripping onto his sleeves tightly.

Dan smiled, crinkling his nose a bit and hugging Phil again. "Nothing extra though. Just friends."

Phil nodded and hugged him back, letting out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Yeah," he said softly.

Dan grinned, pulling away again. "We should probably get to class."

Phil nodded again and began walking to his locker to grab his stuff he'd need for drama, feeling tears still in his eyes as he ignored the stares he got.

Dan walked to his own class, trying to avoid eye contact with people.

Phil walked into drama class and saw that Chris wasn't there, which he felt a bit thankful for. He was upset at him for telling although he was also thankful for it. Dan didn't seem as mad as he thought it'd be. He decided not to be mad at Chris as he sat in his seat listening to his teacher talk about the play she was planning.

The day passed slowly, too slowly for Dan's taste. PJ had been suspended and Dan had no one to keep him company as he didn't have any classes with Phil except for math. Eventually it was time for lunch and Dan walked to the lunchroom.

Phil walked to his spot, not knowing if Dan wanted to talk to him yet. Maybe they were friends again but Phil didn't want to push him. He put on his music as he lied down, looking up at the sky with a small smile.

Dan looked around for Phil, not finding him. He sighed sadly and sat down, pulling out his book. He still had no money to eat on.

Phil picked a flower from the bush behind him and he rested it on his chest. His shirt rode up and he saw the flower he drew on his hip. He smiled and pushed shirt down again, humming along to the music.

Dan stood up then, walking towards the door. He didn't have any problems with Marcus today and he just walked out, heading outside. He saw Phil and walked towards him, sitting next to him.

Phil looked at him with a soft smile and then looked back at the sky, not knowing what to say anymore.

Dan reached in his bag, pulling out his pen and taking Phil's hand, writing DH on his palm and laughing a bit.

"Dh?" He asked, looking at his palm.

Dan laughed. "Dan Howell." He said and put his pen away.

Phil smiled and rested his hand on his chest, playing with the leaves on the flower. He grabbed his phone and looked through his music, putting on Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran and looking up at the sky again.

Dan smiled, this was one of his favorite songs. He leaned back, singing the lyrics softly.

Phil listened to Dan sing with a soft smile, lifting the flower off of his chest to look at it with admiration. He twirled it in his fingers and handed it to Dan, not saying anything.

Dan smiled, accepting this flower and grinning. "Thank you."

Phil nodded and smiled back, pulling a marker out of his backpack. He looked at the DH on his palm and turned his hand around, drawing a small flower on the back of it. He looked at it grinning and rested his hand on his chest again, playing with the top of his shirt quietly.

Dan grinned while he watched Phil. He really was beautiful. Dan had never taken the time to just appreciate how authentically beautiful Phil was. He smiled while he watched him.

Phil noticed Dan watching him and he smiled softly at him. "What is it?"

Dan shook his head. "Nothing."

Phil nodded and looked away again, sitting up as he leaned against his backpack, playing with his fingers. The silence was comforting and having Dan by his side reminded him of the first time they talked when they smoked.

Dan kept his eyes on Phil the entire time. He grinned and then heard the bell ring. "Fuck. I don't want to go to class." He mumbled.

Phil nodded in agreement. "I have to. My parents will kill me if I miss another class."

Dan nodded, standing up and holding his hand down for Phil. "Let's go then."

Phil shyly took his hand, standing up and slipping his backpack on his shoulder.

"It's just one class and then schools over." He says and begins walking.

Phil nodded as he followed him, his heart beating slower in his chest and his steps seeming easier than they had been for awhile.

They got to class a little early, Dan sitting in the back like he usually did.

Phil sat in his seat and as he was taking out his math homework he found the drawing he did for Dan. He smiled at it and pulled his colored pencils out to begin coloring it.

Dan worked on his missed assignments the whole class period, finishing them a few minutes before class ended.

Phil put the drawing in his pocket as he waited for the class to be over. He had finished coloring it and he wanted to give it to Dan.

The bell rang and Dan started gathering his stuff, turning in his assignments as he made his way to the front of the room.

Phil got his stuff together and put his backpack on his shoulder, waiting for Dan at the door.

Dan made his way to the door and smiled softly at him.

Phil smiled back and pulled the drawing out of his pocket, blushing slightly as he handed it to Dan. "I uh.. did it yesterday.." He said quietly as he walked to his locker to get his stuff together.

Dan followed, unfolding the paper. He grinned when he saw what it was and folded it back up. "It's lovely. I'll put it on my wall when I get home."

Phil blushed and nodded, smiling smally as he put his stuff in his backpack, putting it on his back when he was done.

Dan grinned and started walking out of the building. He started walking towards his house.

Phil caught up to him with a blush. "I um do you want a ride?" He asked shyly.

He turned, smiling. "Yes. That would be great." He says and walks towards Phil's car.

Phil let out a breath he was holding and began walking towards his car, watching his feet as he walked.

Dan got in the car, buckling up. He smiled as Phil got in and grabbed his phone, texting PJ.

Phil started the car and turned on the radio, rolling his window down before he began pulling out of the school parking lot and driving Dan home.


	27. 27

They made it to Dan's house and he grinned. "Wanna hang out for a bit?" He asked.

Phil blushed slightly and nodded. "Yeah..sure." He turned off his car and stepped out of it, grabbing his backpack and locking his car as he walked with Dan to his front door.

Dan unlocked the door, letting them inside. He sets his keys down and walks to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm good," Phil said shyly, blushing as he remembered what had happened the last time he was there.

Dan grabbed himself a drink, walking back to the couch and sat down. He opened his drink and took a sip before he glanced up and noticed Phil was still standing. "Well sit down," he said, laughing a bit.

Phil blushed deeper and sat down as well, pulling out his homework to start on it quietly. He felt a bit bad for being so quiet but he had become a different person when Dan left him and he had lost all of his confidence.

Dan saw Phil doing his homework and pulled out his as well, deciding they could help each other. He grinned, sitting closer to Phil and beginning to work.

Phil let out a shaky sigh when Dan sat closer. He knew that they were just friends but he was scared of losing him again and it seemed like the simplest things could make him lose him again.

Dan leaned a bit closer, looking at Phil's paper "What did you get for number four?" He asked.

Phil showed him his answer and covered the doodles he had done during class with his hand.

Dan grinned, "Thank you." He said and wrote it down.

Phil nodded and continued working as he grinned smally at Dan's warmth and his smell. His smell. The smell on his hoodie. The smell that he used to fall asleep curled up to. He fought off his thoughts as he gulped down the lump in his throat and continued working.

Dan worked silently for a few more minutes before he leaned back over again. "I can't remember what to do for number ten."

Phil looked at it and began explaining it to him as he drew out how to do it, leaning closer to use his pencil on Dan's sheet.

Dan leaned closer a bit, listening to Phil explain it. When he was done Dan looked up, smiling. "Thank you."

"No problem," he said quietly, biting his lip as he pulled away and began working on his own assignment again.

Dan continued working, finally finishing it and putting it away.

Phil finished after Dan as he leaned back and doodled a flower on the corner of his paper. He had drama homework as well and he leaned down to get it out of his backpack.

Dan stood up, grabbing his empty drink can to throw it away. He walked into the kitchen, throwing it away then walked back to Phil.

Phil pulled out his drama homework and read it over before he groaned. "This makes no sense," he whined, reading it over again.

Dan laughed and looked over, "Let me see it."

Phil showed him with a sigh, putting his chin in his palm as he let Dan read it.

Dan looked over it, reading it twice and then handing it back to Phil. "I'm not sure but I think it's the second one."

Phil shrugged and circled the second one as he chewed on his lip, reading the next question and thankfully understanding it.

Dan pulled away and smiled, pulling out his phone and going on Instagram.

Phil worked on his drama homework quietly as he basked in the warmth Dan brought. He was a bit scared Dan wouldn't like the new, quiet Phil but he couldn't help it. When Dan left, so did a part of Phil and even when he came back, that part of himself stayed gone. He was now quiet and shy and it reminded him of when he first met Dan.

Dan didn't even notice the change in Phil, thinking he was just focusing on getting his homework done. Dan stood up. "I'm going to change into something more comfortable," he says, walking towards his room.

Phil nodded and looked back down at his work. He was only about halfway done and he was stressed already.

Dan walked to his room, changing into a pair of shorts and deciding to leave his shirt off. He and Phil used to hang out all the time like this so he thought nothing of it.

Phil bit at his bottom lip as he let out a tired sigh, leaning back as he continued working. Drama homework usually took him the longest because there was more reading in it.

Dan walked back downstairs, sitting back down on the couch. He pulled his phone back out and started scrolling through Instagram again.

Phil gulped down the lump in his throat as he saw Dan shirtless. He had a really nice body and Phil found himself blushing harder than before as he tried his hardest not to react.

Dan glanced over, scooting closer a bit. "Almost done?"

Phil looked at him with a deep blush and nodded. "Yeah I'm on the last one," he told him with a small smile before he turned back to his work.

Dan grinned and went back to his phone, texting PJ back and laughing a bit.

Phil finished up his homework and stuck it in his backpack, looking over at Dan so he could decide what they do next.

Dan glanced over. "Yess. You're finally done. What should we do?"

Phil shrugged and played with the sleeves of his sweater as he looked away as if he were thinking.

Dan stood up, "I've got an idea." 

Phil looked up at him as he waited for him to explain.

"Wait here." Dan says and walks upstairs to his room. He walks to his closet, pulling down his old water gun.

Phil slid off his jacket while he waited for Dan to come back. 

Dan tip toed to the bathroom and filled it up with cold water before sneaking back downstairs. "Fire!" He yelled and started spraying Phil with the water.

Phil yelped when Dan sprayed him with cold water and he laughed loudly as he got up and hid himself behind the kitchen counter. "Oh my God this isn't fair!" Phil said, giggling as he hid himself.

"It wouldn't be a surprise attack if it was fair!" Dan yelled, jumping on the counter and spraying Phil.

Phil grabbed the water gun from Dan and laughed loudly as he tried pulling it from him, almost knocking him off the counter.

Dan laughed. "Hey! It's mine!" He yelled, pulling it back and spraying Phil again.

Phil covered his face and ran, hiding himself in Dan's room as he grinned widely and searched his room for a weapon. He found a hoodie and grabbed it.

Dan ran in, "No! That's cheating." He said, pulling the hoodie from him and spraying him again. "Just give in Phil!" He laughed.

Phil held Dan's wrist so he couldn't shoot him as he laughed loudly. "So the game is you abusing me?!" He asked as he giggled and tried taking it from Dan again.

Phil successfully got the gun from him and Dan squeaked, running out of the room.

Phil laughed as Dan ran and he ran after him, hitting his back with water as he tried running from him.

"Ahh!" Dan screamed and laughed, "Im shirtless, it's colder for me then it was for you!" He tried hiding behind the couch.

"Well you got me for longer!" Phil giggled, jumping on the couch and spraying his hair with water.

"Oh my god!" Dan screamed, trying to hide his hair. "Fuck. You're going to turn me into a hobbit."

Phil laughed loudly and sprayed his chest after he had wet his hair.

"Fuck!" He yelled, laughing and trying to grab the gun from him.

Phil pulled away and began running away again as he laughed loudly.

"Phil!" He whined and laughed, chasing after him and tackling him, trying to grab the gun from him.

Phil yelped as they fell to the ground but he held a tight grip on the water gun, trying to roll over under Dan.

Dan grabbed his arms and pinned them down, grabbing the gun and sitting up, spraying Phil while sitting on him.

Phil yelped as his arms were pinned above his head and he tried squirming out from under Dan, breaking free from his hands and flipping them over, trying to grab the gun from him as he giggled.

Dan laughed as his back hit the floor and the gun fell out of his hands, sliding across the floor.

Phil pinned Dan's arms above his head and held him down with his chest as he reached over to grab the water gun.

Dan gasped softly, losing the urge to giggle and instead having a different urge. An urge he ignored with everything in him. He couldn't kiss Phil. They were friends. Just friends. He shook his head a bit and tried to squirm out from under Phil so he could get the gun as well.

Phil held him down and giggled as he tried getting the gun but knew he wasn't close enough. He sat on Dan so he'd stay down as he grabbed the gun, squirting him in the face as he grinned widely.

Dan closed his eyes, trying to turn his head. He laughed, trying to get away from Phil.

Phil held him down as he sprayed his hair, laughing so hard his stomach hurt.

Dan whined, "Philllll.." he tried getting away again.

Phil giggled as he held the water gun over his head and tried catching his breath, his breathing hard from laughing and running.

Dan laughed, finally getting out from under Phil and immediately running.

Phil laughed as he caught his breath and began to chase after Dan.

Dan tried to get in his room, closing the door and locking it.

Phil laughed as he banged on the door. "Come out Danny boy!" He yelled teasingly.

Dan laughed. "Never!"

Phil giggled and ran to the bathroom to fill the watergun up more.

Dan opened his door slowly, closing it quietly so Phil wouldn't notice and then snuck downstairs before Phil could notice.

Phil made his way to Dan's room and didn't see him there. Where'd he go? He ran over the house looking for him. "Dannn!" He called, smiling widely as he looked for him.

Dan had gone to the storage closet, he'd gotten the other water gun and filled it up. He popped out and ran towards Phil, spraying him.

Phil yelped out, surprised at the sudden attack as he ran, spraying Dan as he tried to cover himself.

Dan laughed, chasing him. "Now it's fair!" He yelled.

Phil ran and sprayed him as he ran to the bathroom, locking the door before he could react as he pulled his soaking shirt off and caught his breath, a wide smile on his lips as he giggled.

Dan laughed, banging on the door. "Come out Philly!"

"What's the magic word?!" Phil yelled through the door, grinning widely.

"Please!" Dan said, laughing.

Phil licked his lips as he smiled and unlocked the door, immediately shooting Dan with water.

Dan laughed louder, shooting Phil as well. "Surrender!"

"Never!" Phil yelled back as he aimed the water at Dan's face.

* time skip *

Dan laughed loudly and dropped his water gun. "Oh god I'm soaked," He said, dropping his water gun in surrender. 

Phil nodded and dropped his as well, lying on the floor as he was soaking wet from head to toe. He was laughing lightly and his chest was heaving.

Dan laughed, laying next to him. "Fucking hell." He giggled.

"That was the most intense battle I've ever had," Phil said, giggling slightly as he felt the old him coming out a bit.

Dan laughed. "Honestly same." He looked at Phil.

Phil smiled at him and looked down at his own body. "I'm soaking wet," he said, making a disgusted face as he pulled his jeans away from his body slightly as they stuck to him.

Dan laughed. "You can borrow something of mine. I'll throw your clothes in the dryer."

Phil nodded and sat up as he laughed lightly, his body weak from running around and laughing so much.

Dan stood up, pulling at his shorts that were sticking to his body and laughed.

Phil stood up after him and smiled widely as he made his way to Dan's bedroom to steal his clothes.

Dan stayed downstairs so he wouldn't make Phil uncomfortable while he tried to get dressed. "You can borrow some of my boxers too!" He yelled, knowing if Phil's pants where that wet so where his boxers.

"Okay!" Phil yelled back as he closed Dan's door and began breathing heavily as he remembered the last time he was here. He remembered being pushed down into the pillows and the feeling of Dan slapping his ass. He remembered his body being abused by Dan and he almost couldn't believe it was the same person as the dork who was squirting him with water. He grabbed a pair of Dan's boxers and a pair of his black shorts from him. He also grabbed one of his black shirts and began changing.

Dan waited patiently for Phil to come back down so he could change as well.

He finished getting changed and he grabbed one of Dan's hoodies, putting it on and inhaling the scent deeply as he smiled softly. He made his way downstairs and grinned when he saw him.

Dan smiled. "I'll go get changed and then I'll throw our clothes in the dryer." He walked upstairs to his room, changing into a different pair of boxers and basketball shorts.

Phil nodded as he sat on Dan's couch and smiled softly. He looked down to check on his cuts as he gulped when he realized he was running around with them exposed. What if Dan judged him? He felt sick to his stomach suddenly and he quickly covered them up with Dan's hoodie sleeve and frowned.

Dan walked back downstairs with his wet clothes, "Hey, bring your clothes with you." He says and walks towards the laundry room.

Phil nodded and picked up his clothes as he followed Dan to the laundry room, finding his old self leaving again as he went quiet.

Dan took his clothes and started the drier. He turned towards Phil, standing quite close to him in the small room. "What do you want to do now?" He asked.

Phil shrugged again and smiled as he held Dan's hoodie sleeves against his face. They were warm against his cold body and Dan was standing close making him warmer.

Dan giggled, jumping up and sitting on the dryer. "What's on your mind?"

"Warmth," Phil said quietly, grinning as he cuddled Dan's hoodie against himself.

Dan smiled. "Yeah. I'm freezing." He said, laughing a bit.

"Try putting on a shirt you hooligan," he said with a grin.

Dan laughed, looking down at himself. "Why would I do that?" He asks and laughs.

"To get warmth," Phil said, rolling his eyes as he leaned against the warm dryer.

"Hmm. There are other ways to get warm." He says, referring to sitting on the dryer but widened his eyes when he realized his suggestive that comment sounded.

Phil's eyes widened and he giggled slightly as he went red. "Got any hot chocolate?" He asked to hide his nervousness at the comment.

Dan's smile dropped, he looked down at his hands. "No uh.. we don't." He said, not wanting to say that they didn't have anything in their fridge but a couple of sodas.

"Come on, let's go get starbucks," he said with a grin as he held his hand out to help Dan off the dryer.

Dan took his hand, jumping off the dryer. "I don't have any money." He says.

"I'll pay," he said with a smile. He reached into his backpack and took out his wallet and phone and stuck them in his pocket. "Go put on a shirt."

Dan laughed, nodding and walking up to his room to put on a shirt and a pair of shoes.

Phil waited until Dan was done changing so he could get his shoes from his bedroom.

Dan saw Phil's shoes on the floor and he picked them up, carrying them downstairs for Phil. "Figured I'd save you a trip upstairs."

"Thanks," he said as he slipped them on, picking up his jacket from the couch, which had surprisingly not gotten wet and threw it at Dan. "It's gonna be cold," he told him before he opened his front door, waiting for him.

Dan smiled, putting the jacket on and inhaling deeply. It smelled like Phil and he smiled. "I'm going to pay you back for everything you've done for me one day." He promised.

"Maybe I don't want you to pay me back," he said as he closed the door behind them.

Dan blushed a bit. "I'm still going to though."

Phil smiled at him as he walked them to his car, unlocking it before he slipped inside and buckled up.

Dan got in quickly, a little surprised how cold it was outside since it was so close to summer.

Phil started the car and rolled his window down. "Glad I told you to wear a jacket?" He asked him with a grin as he turned the radio up and began driving to the nearest Starbucks.

Dan laughed, nodding. He listened to the music, smiling and leaned his head back.

Phil felt the breeze from the wind as he sighed happily. God he had missed this so much. He had missed Dan so much. He looked at him with a warm smile as he was tempted to reach out and hold his hand when he realized he couldn't. He turned his eyes back on the road as his smile fell some.

Dan bit his lip, thinking about what had happened earlier. Friendship is better then nothing. He'd rather have Phil in his life as a friend then nothing at all. He knew that he wanted Phil in ways that weren't anywhere near innocent, but he fought those urges because he wanted to be friends.

Phil hummed to the music as he drove them, fighting off the sadness that came with not being able to hold him. Or kiss him. Or touch him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he mentally shook his head. He was glad to have Dan as a friend and he wanted to keep it that way. If he couldn't have him as more than a friend was good enough.

They made it to Starbucks and Dan grinned, stepping out of the car and waiting for Phil.

Phil turned off the car and step out, locking it before he smiled at Dan and walked inside with him.

Dan walked to a table, telling Phil what he wanted. He wanted to make sure they got a booth.

Phil nodded and ordered Dan's drink for him as well as his own, paying and waiting for them to be done as he counted his money without Dan seeing. He got an allowance every month but with his grades he wasn't sure if he'd get one this month unless he could raise his math grade.


	28. 28

*time skippy* 

Dan had been working for a couple of weeks and he was excited to get off today because he was getting his first  paycheck. He opened it and saw the amount, $329, and he nearly dropped it. He cashed it at his bank, giving fifty his mom because that's all she'd let him give her and then he went to the mall to do something he didn't get to do often, buy new clothes.

Phil hummed as he worked on an essay for his English class, his fingers hovering over his keyboard as he thought out what words to use. He sighed as he dropped his fingers to read over his essay again. Usually English was easy for him but he wasn't in the mood to do an essay that he knew needed to get done. He shook his head as he continued typing it out.

Dan found a nice shirt, it wasn't what he'd usually wear but he liked it. He also got a pair of ripped jeans and some shoes he liked. He bought them all and went home, trying them on. He snapped a quick picture in the mirror and posted it on Instagram with the caption "spent half my check on this outfit"

Phil's phone buzzed with a notification. He opened it to see Dan had posted on Instagram. He expected some cheesy aesthetic photo and his mouth dropped when he saw the picture. He looked at his phone breathlessly because fuckk Dan looked good. "Oh my god," he whispered out, trailing his eyes over Dan's body in the picture. He felt his dick twitch and he gulped. Dan was fully clothed in the picture but the way he looked and the way he had a slight smirk on his face and his legs were slightly open was enough to get Phil worked up a bit.

Dan changed out of the clothes, deciding to wear them to school tomorrow. He folded them up, leaving them on his dresser. He smiled and climbed into bed, checking his Instagram notifications.

Phil liked the photo and debated on commenting something on it. He licked his lips and didn't comment anything, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He looked at the picture as the bulge in his pants grew. He licked his lips again as he went to his saved pictures, finding the ones he saved the time he sexted Dan as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

Dan's phone buzzed and he saw someone had commented. Cat had commented a row of heart eyes and he chuckled.

Phil began biting his lip to keep in his noises as he went to the first picture he saved, which was a photo of Dan's collarbones. He slid his hand over the bulge in his underwear as he licked over his lips again, wishing he could touch them again, kiss them, mark them.

Dan's phone buzzed with a text message. "Lookin hawt on Instagram. Doing it for anyone???" PJ said and Dan laughed. "Just myself."

Phil pressed his palm down as he bit his lip harder and moved on to the next picture of the top of Dan's boxers. He rolled his hips up into his hand as he wanted to slide his hand down those boxers and grope him, lick him, ride him. He wanted his cock so bad he could barely breathe.

PJ sent back a Lenny face and Dan chuckled, not bothering to answer as he got up, washing downstairs to get a soda.

Phil slid his boxers down past his thighs as he wrapped his fingers around himself, letting out a breathy moan as he fought the urge to close his eyes in pleasure. He moved on to the next picture of Dan's v line and he covered his mouth with his hand as he began stroking himself to Dan's pictures, reaching into his drawer and coating his hand in lotion to make it easier before he was quickly moving his hand, his eyes never once leaving the picture of Dan's v line.

Dan walked back upstairs bored. He sat on his bed, sighing. He considered texting Phil but decided against, deciding he'd just see him in school tomorrow.

Phil let out a breathy moan into his hand but had to remove his hand from his mouth to swipe to the next picture, seeing the picture of Dan's hand over his bulge and he closed his eyes, groaning out. He covered his mouth again as he bucked up into his hand and began jerking himself off quickly and roughly, remembering how good it felt to have Dan's cock inside of him and his hand on his ass. How could it felt to be licked open by him. He groaned and bucked up into his fist again.

Dan sighed, rolling over. He decided to just go to sleep. It was getting pretty late anyways.

Phil found himself moaning helplessly into his palm as he jerked himself off quicker, his climax already so close just from the pictures of Dan. He hung his head and bucked up into his fist as he ran his finger over his slit, causing him to bite into his palm. He was so close and fuck Dan was so hot.

Dan pulled out his phone, texting Phil a short text. It was just the moon emoji, his way of telling him goodnight.

Phil got a message from Dan of a moon emoji and he shook his head, moving it out of the way so he could continue working towards his climax. He ran his finger over his slit before he was cumming hotly onto his fist, a broken moan getting muffled by his palm.

Dan locked his phone, plugging it in and turning over to sleep for the night.

Phil got a tissue and cleaned his fist and hand off before saving his essay and shutting his laptop down. He texted Dan back a moon emoji and smiled before plugging his phone into his charger.

Dan's phone vibrated but he was already half asleep and he didn't bother checking it.

Phil lied on his stomach on the bed as he inhaled the scent of Dan on the hoodie he had stolen from him earlier in the day since it had been cold. He smiled softly as he buried his face in his sleeve and let himself fall asleep to the smell of Dan and the exhaustion from his orgasm.


	29. 29

Dan woke up the next morning and grinned. He got up, putting his new clothes on and grinned at himself in the mirror before he brushed his teeth. ( Dan is wearing his black and white plaid shirt with his ripped jeans) 

Phil got up slowly the next morning, seeing Dan's hoodie on himself and deciding to wear it to school without a shirt under it so he could steal it for another day. He put on his black skinny jeans and his converse before he brushed his teeth and fixed his bed head. He grabbed his backpack and frowned as he remembered he didn't finish his essay because Dan distracted him. He laughed lightly and shrugged, making his way downstairs to grab a couple of cherries for on his way to school.

Dan left the house, excited for the day at school. He finally had money to buy his own lunch and he planned on buying Phil lunch as well to make up for Phil always buying him food. He made it to school, getting a few double takes from what he was wearing.

Phil drove to school, eating his cherries on his way. When he got to school he grinned when nobody cared that he was wearing Dan's hoodie. It had become a normal thing for him to wear Dan's hoodies and jackets. When he walked into school he saw Dan and blushed, immediately walking over to him with a grin.

Dan turned and saw Phil. "Hey!" He said and smiled. "What do you think?" He asked, doing a small spin so Phil could see the entire outfit.

Phil stared breathlessly with a wide smile. "You look amazing," he said with a blush, the words the same words he used the night of the dance when he picked him up. He met his eyes as they both knew it.

Dan blushed a bit and grabbed his books for English. "Thank you."

Phil nodded and dragged his eyes over his body again. Fuck he looked just as good in person as he did in the picture. He found himself sucking on his bottom lip as he took him in.

Dan didn't notice Phil staring at him as he looked around. People where staring but for once it wasn't in a rude way. Dan was getting stared at hungrily by guys and girls. He blushed a bit, clearing his throat. He wasn't used to this.

Phil walked a bit closer but didn't say anything as he pulled out his phone and pretended to be doing something on it. He wanted to claim Dan. He saw all the looks he was getting and he was getting angry and possessive. Dan wasn't even his and he found himself wanting to claim him right there right now. He put his phone away as he looked at him with a smile, biting on his bottom lip teasingly, making it seem like he did it innocently.

When Phil offered to walk him to class, Dan grinned, Phil hadn't walked him to class in a while. He grinned and watched his feet as they walked forward.

Phil watched him as they walked, trailing over his body again as he tried to fight off a boner because fuck Dan looked so good and he was getting angry that he couldn't claim him as his.

They made it to Dan's class and he turned to Phil. "Thank you for walking me to class." He says. He turned, walking into class.

Phil nodded and watched his ass while he walked away. He let out a deep breath as he walked to Drama, his cheeks flushed and his mind only on Dan.

Dan sat down, the seat next to him immediately being filled by Cat. "Hey Dan." She said, twisting her hair.

Phil couldn't focus in class as he thought of Dan. He bit his lip as he prayed he wouldn't get hard. He wanted to just kiss that neck and claim him. Wanted to leave hickeys all over him so everyone knew who he belonged to.

Dan ignored her until the class ended. The bell rang and he smiled, getting up and walking out of the room.

Phil was slightly hard when class ended and he hoped Dan wouldn't notice as he made his way to meet him in the hallway. When he saw him he smiled and walked to his locker. He pulled out the stuff he needed for English before walking over to Dan's locker.

Dan glanced over, slightly shocked as Phil usually didn't meet him between classes. "Hey.." he says, smiling a bit.

Phil leaned down and so his lips were brushing against Dan's ear. "Everyone is staring," he said in a low voice in his ear before pulling away, hoping it'd affect him some and show some of the people staring who Dan belonged to.

Dan blushed a bit, looking around. He glanced back up at Phil and bit his lip. "Walk me to class?" He asked.

"Of course," Phil said with a smirk as he led Dan to his next class, narrowing his eyes at Cat as he moved his hand to brush against Dan's hip, winking at her.

She narrowed her eyes and walked away. 

Dan didn't notice and he grinned at Phil, turning to him. "Sit inside with during lunch today?" He asked, wanting to make sure he'd get to buy Phil lunch.

"Yeah I will," Phil said with a pleased smile. When they got to Dan's class he let his fingers accidentally brush against Dan's as he smiled at him. "Ignore the stares," he told him softly, knowing Dan got self conscious when he was being stared at.

Dan grinned, crinkling his nose a bit. "These stares are different. They're not judging." He says and laughs a bit. "It's kind of flattering."

Phil bit his lip as Dan liked the stares. It wasn't fair. He should be the only one staring at him. He ran his eyes over Dan's body as Dan watched him and he smiled once before licking his lips and walked to his next class.

Dan chuckled, walking into class and sitting next to PJ. "He totally just checked you out." Dan laughed. "It's Phil. He was probably just joking around."

Phil walked to his next class as his dick was still slighty hard in his jeans. He let his mind wander to when he was sucking Dan. He smirked as he remembered that all of the people staring at Dan wished they could see him naked but Phil already knew and he was fucking hot. He frowned when he realized Dan had fucked Cat and he got more possessive. He wanted to be the only one who saw Dan's body. He let his mind wander to when he took over and rode Dan his first time, the feeling of Dan sliding in and out of him making him squirm in his seat.

PJ raised his eyebrows. "Are you kidding?" Dan laughed, "No Peej. I'm pretty sure Phil and I are just friends now." 

PJ laughed loudly. "You and Phil will never be just friends."

Phil felt himself getting harder but he couldn't help it. Everything seemed too hot all of a sudden but be didn't have a shirt under Dan's hoodie and so he was forced to feel hot as his dick grew in his pants. He tried fighting it off. But the memories of his sex with Dan kept coming back, making that action impossible.

Class eventually ended and Dan got up, groaning when he realized it was time for athletics.

Phil made his way to his locker and got out his history book as he tried hiding his very obvious boner from everyone.

Athletics passed quickly and he grinned as he walked to the cafeteria quickly.

Phil had gotten his boner to calm down some in his pants but he was still hard as he walked to lunch, moving Dan's hoodie over the bump in the front of his jeans nervously. He grabbed his backpack and walked to the table that Dan, him, PJ, and sometimes Chris sat at. He didnt see Dan and sat across from PJ.

Dan walked in, walking towards the food. He got two trays and started filling them up. When he got to the front he grinned and paid before walking to the table and setting the tray in front of Phil.

Phil looked at him surprised but whined. "Dann I told you not to get me anything."

Dan laughed. "I was going to just give you money but I knew you wouldn't accept it. So I bought you lunch."

Phil sighed and smiled at him. "Thank you," he said warmly, before he began eating his food quietly, "accidentally scooting closer to Dan to steal one of his napkins to wipe his mouth. He felt their thighs touching and squirmed slightly at the warmth.

Dan grinned, beginning to eat his own food as well. He smiled and started eating faster.

Phil licked his lips as he watched him eat, trailing his eyes over his back and his jawline. His throat and his fucking huge hands that he wanted Dan to pin him down with while he fucked him senseless. God how he wanted that.

Dan kept eating, he was grinning. He could feel eyes on him but he ignored it, continuing his eating and glancing up at his friends.

Dan just kept eating acting like nothing was happening and Phil grew hornier. He pressed his hand to Dan's inner thigh as he looked at him. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Dan smiled, swallowing his food. "Yes. I'm good." He grinned a bit at Phil being worried about him.

Phil rubbed small circles on Dan's thigh that he pulled off to be comforting but he was tempted to just reach between his legs and - he shook away the thought as they were in a room of about 150 people and they were just friends. But did a friend make Phil this horny just by existing? He began playing with the holes in Dan's jeans as he bit his lip.

Dan looked down, smiling a bit. He didn't think anything of it. He and Phil had always had quite a touchy friendship, he didn't realize what Phil might be thinking.

Phil looked at PJ and PJ had a knowing smirk as he ate his food and Phil gave him credit. PJ always knew everything. Phil slipped his fingers through one of the holes in Dan's jeans and felt the smooth skin on his thigh. God he was aching for him. He wanted to straddle him in front of everyone or get on his knees for him. He'd do anything for him right now. He squirmed more in his seat as he tried to calm the hardness in his jeans.

Dan glanced up at PJ who looked like he'd just proven Dan right about something. Dan raised his eyebrows questionably and PJ laughed, standing up. "I've got an assignment to finish for English. I'll be in the library." He says before walking off.

Phil watched PJ walk off and laughed lightly as he continued playing with Dan's jeans. He shoveled more food into his mouth with his free hand and crossed his legs to get some relief. He let out a sigh when he didn't get any and he couldn't find a way to pleasure himself. He looked at Dan needingly.

Dan finished his food, standing up to throw his tray away. "I'll be back." He says, walking away. He felt eyes on him the entire time.

Phil frowned and looked around to make sure nobody was watching him before he pressed his palm to the bulge in his jeans, biting his lip so he wouldn't make any noise.

Dan walked to the vending machine to get something to drink. When he went to bend down someone stepped in front of him and he jumped back. "Oh uh.. sorry." He says awkwardly and the girl grins. "It's okay." She says, biting her lip a bit.

Phil watched it happen and grew more possessive. He couldn't take this. His pulled his hand off of himself as the girl pissed him off and he sat angrily in his seat. Dan was HIS.

Dan stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Could I maybe get my drink?" He asks and she laughs. "Sure." She turned and bent down right in front of Dan, grabbing it for him. "Thanks." He said and began to walk away but she caught his arm. "Wait. I had a question for you."

Phil watched as the girl grabbed his arm and he stood up from his seat, walking up to Dan. "Hey sorry I wanted to grab something. So are you up for hanging out at my house after school again today?" He asked with a small smirk, refusing to look at the girl.

"Yeah." He said and smiled before turning back to the girl politely. "What did you have to ask me?" He asked and she shook her head. "Never mind." She said and walked away.

Phil smirked as she walked away and he shrugged. "Eh never mind I'm not in the mood for something," he said looking into the vending machine. He turned and walked back to his seat with Dan.

Dan was slightly confused. "I wonder what she wanted." He says and laughs. "Guess it wasn't important."

Phil laughs lightly as he sits down again, feeling pleased with himself. It irritated him that Dan was so close and he couldn't do anything to get pleasure. The man he wanted was pressed against him yet he couldn't do anything. It pissed him off and he let out an irritated sigh, moving around in his seat.

The bell rang and Dan stood up. "We just have to struggle through math and then the school day is over." He says happily.

Phil nods and picks up his backpack, carrying his tray and throwing it away. He walked with Dan to math as he looked at him, noticing people staring and getting possessive again as he walked closer. He let out an irritated sigh and looked at him again needingly, wanting him to notice, wanting him to know what he does to Phil.

They got to math and Dan sat down, noticing PJ wasn't here so the desk beside him was left open. "Are you skipping?" He texted to PJ.

Phil frowned when Dan didn't notice him and he rested his head on his desk, his dick hurt from being hard for so long and he needed release but he didn't want to take care of himself. He wanted Dan to take care of him. He looked over at him and noticed him texting someone. He pressed his hand down on the bulge in his jeans again but that just made him harder and he whimpered out quietly.

Dan glanced up, putting his phone away when the teacher walked in. He tried to pay attention to the teacher but he hated math and he just couldn't. He stared out the window.

Phil was getting upset. Dan wasn't looking at him or even looking in his direction. He needed him more than he'd ever needed anything in his life. He watched Dan as he chewed on his bottom lip, staring at the small bump in his jeans just from having a huge size. He licked his lips as he trailed his eyes up to his neck and his face, remembering how he looked naked as he fought off the urge to moan.

"Dude you're eyefucking Dan," Chris said behind him, causing him to blush deeply.

Dan heard his name and glanced over, seeing Cat waving at him. He smiled awkwardly, waving back.

Phil huffed as Cat still tried flirting with Dan. He had had enough. After school he was going to claim him in front of everyone. His dick twitched in his pants at the thought as he smirked down at his work.

She passed him a note. "free after school today?" He smiled a bit. "Sorry no. Rain check?" He passed it back and she frowned a bit but nodded.

Phil frowned and turned his attention to the teacher. Dan didn't even know what was coming.

Dan grinned, looking back down at his work and trying to concentrate.

The class went by slowly with a lot of squirming and frowning as Phil waited desperately.

The bell finally rang and Dan sighed happily, putting his stuff in his bag and walking out the door towards his locker.

Phil grinned widely as he packed his stuff up and before he could decide whether or not it was a good idea he was pushing Dan against his locker in front of everyone and immediately connecting their lips in a heated kiss as he pinned his body against the locker with his own.


	30. 30

Dan gasped, his back hitting a locker loudly and he tried pushing the person away before he realized it was Phil and kissed him back. He didn't know why Phil was suddenly doing this but he definitely wasn't complaining.

Phil kissed him hotly as he wrapped one hand around his lower back and the other to his neck, pulling him closer and kissing him deeper as he licked at his bottom lip. He had been needing this for so long and fuck it felt nice. He pressed his hard on into Dan's thigh as he bit his bottom lip.

Dan gasped again, moaning softly. He pulled away to breathe, seeing everyone's eyes on them. "Phil.. fuck. Everyone is staring."

"Good," he said, before he attached his lips to Dan's neck, nipping at the skin there and sucking a hickey into his skin. He pulled away to look at him breathlessly. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold back anymore," he said, biting his lip nervously.

Dan was panting, still a bit shocked. He looked around, seeing everyone's eyes on them and he blushed. "Can we go somewhere else?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah," Phil said, taking his hand as he pulled him to his locker and grabbed the stuff he needed before he was leading him to his car. "Is this okay?" He asked, not wanting to force Dan into anything.

Dan looked over, grinning a bit. "I just don't know where that came from."

"I've been holding it in for so long," he said as he bit his lip and unlocked his car, slipping inside as he let out deep breaths and put his seatbelt on, his eyes full of lust as he looked at Dan.

Dan climbed in the car, putting his seatbelt on. "Your house or mine?"

"Mine, I want to smell you on my sheets tonight," he said as he started pulling out of the school parking lot and made his way to his house.

Dan took a deep breath, shocked by how blunt Phil was being. He nodded and blushed a bit. He wondered what had pushed Phil over the edge.

Phil was panting and squirming in his seat and he knew Dan was watching him and it just turned him on more. "Fuck Dan if you keep staring at me like that I'm going to cum in my jeans."

Dan looked away, blushing. "Sorry."

When they finally got to Phils house, Phil locked his car and unlocked his door as fast as he could, taking Dan's backpack off of his shoulders and setting it on the ground along with his own as he kissed him again and lead him to his room with his lips.

Dan let Phil lead him. They'd never hung out at Phil's house before, mostly because Dan's parents where never home and they never had to worry about it. Dan thought the first time he came to Phil's house would be for homework or just to hang out, but he was letting Phil lead him to his room with his lips and he sighed gently into the kiss.

Phil pulled away when they were at the stairs and they walked up them with Phils arm around Dan's lower back. When they made it upstairs Phil began leading Dan to his room again, glad he decided to clean it last night as he pushed Dan down on his bed and crawled into his lap, kissing him needingly.

Dan kissed him back, his mind working fast. He liked the way Phil tasted slightly like cherries, still after all this time, and he liked how he felt small and warm and perfect on top of him. He wrapped his arms around Phil, wanting him closer.

Phil pulled him closer and began moving his hips on top of him, needing some friction. He lead Dan's hand to his bulge as he whimpered out and bucked into his hand.

Dan pulled away panting, "Oh god, you're so hard." He whispered, rubbing Phil through his jeans.

Phil moaned loudly and threw his head back, rolling his hips into Dan's hand. "Only for you," he whimpered out, finally getting the friction he had been craving.

Dan moaned at Phil's words, reaching down and undoing his pants. He pushed them down Phil's legs and started stroking him through his boxers.

"Fuck Dann," he whined, rolling off of him and lying on his back as he pulled his shoes and jeans off, spreading his legs for him as he pulled him down to kiss him again.

Dan rocked forward, shocked at this turn of events. Dan kicked his own shoes off, not removing his lips from Phil's, and reached up yanking in Phil's shirt. "Off." He mumbled into the kiss.

Phil pulled his shirt off and pulled away for a second. "Y-youre not going to regret this right?" He was incredibly desperate and horny but he didn't want Dan being mad at him after.

Dan paused his actions, looking down at Phil. "I'd never regret you." He whispers softly, the closest thing to a proclamation of love that he'd ever said to Phil.

Phil smiled softly and pulled him in again, licking at his bottom lip, asking for permission as he rolled his hips up.

Dan grinned into the kiss. He reached down, pulling Phil's boxers down so he was completely naked on the bed while Dan was still fully dressed.

Phil whined and pulled away to begin working on the buttons of Dan's shirt. "Rough please," He said quietly, blushing slightly as he worked on his shirt.

Dan nodded, pulling his shirt off and throwing it. He stood up, taking his pants and underwear off before climbing back on top of Phil. He moved Phil's legs to sit on his shoulders and he started grinding his cock against Phil's.

Phil cried out in pleasure as he threw his head back and gripped the bedsheets, grinding himself against Dan desperately.

"God you're so hard." He whispered. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Since you posted that picture last night," Phil admitted as he blushed and worked his cock against Dan's.

"Yeah?" Dan asked, grinding slowly. "What'd you think about baby?"

"F-fuck I thought about your cock. How good you felt inside of me," he admitted, pants leaving his mouth.

Dan moaned, grinding against him a bit harder. "Yeah baby? Have you missed my cock?"

"I've missed your cock so much," Phil whined out. "Fuck you're so big and perfect." He rubbed his cock against Dan's needingly.

Dan groaned, reaching down to wrap his hand around both of their cocks. He looked around. "Fuck, where's your lube?"

Phil grabbed it from his bedside drawer and handed it to him as he bit his lip and watched him jerk them off together, throaty noises leaving him.

Dan crawled down Phil's body, leaving hot open mouth kisses as he went.

Phil moaned and lifted his hands above his head to watch him as he kissed down his body, his chest heaving as he panted lightly.

Dan kissed the area around his cock and the lower, kissing his taint lightly and laughing as Phil's hips bucked up.

"Mmm please," he whined out, clawing down his wall and gripping his headboard.

Dan looked up, locked his eyes with Phil's and leaned down, licking a stripe up Phil's hole.

"Oh f-fuck," Phil cried out as his body jerked at Dan's tongue. He held the headboard tightly as he bit his lip and let Dan use his body.

Dan pulled away, no longer touching him at all. He looked up at him, waiting for him to react.

"Please touch me," Phil whined out. "Use me. Please." He bucked his hips up needingly.

Dan stayed where he was, looking up at him silently.

"Please fuck me. Need your cock. Waited for so long." He turned himself onto his front and backed himself against him. "Please," he whimpered out.

Dan grinned, gripping his ass harshly and pulled his cheeks apart before pushing his tongue inside.

"A-aH!" He cried out, backing his ass against his face as he buried his face in his pillows. Fuck Dan's tongue felt so good and he was so hard for him. "Love your tongue," he whimpered out.

Dan fucked Phil with his tongue harshly, pushing his tongue in and out quickly.

Phil moaned loudly and gripping onto his pillows tightly. He began begging, wanting Dan to be rough with him when he fucked him. "Please use me. Please please."

Dan pulled his tongue out, flipping Phil over and kissing him deeply. He lubed up his cock, wanting to push inside of Phil.

"Don't need a condom," Phil said, wanting to be closer to him. He leaned his head back as he waited for Dan to fill him up.

Dan groaned, spreading Phil's legs and pushing inside slowly. He knew it had been a while since Phil had sex.

Phil let out a loud moan as he wrapped his arms around Dan's neck. He was so tight and Dan hadn't prepped him, but he needed him and he didn't care about the discomfort, only wanting his cock. "So good," he said breathlessly as he wrapped his fingers around his own cock, needing to relieve some of the pressure.

Dan stayed still, wanting Phil to adjust. He didn't want to hurt him.

Phil felt his chest heaving as he let himself relax, closing his eyes and nodding when the discomfort faded. "Want you to be rough with me. Want to not be able to walk for weeks," Phil said, biting his lip as he looked at Dan.

Dan groaned and pushed himself in, pulling out and snapping his hips back in. "Fuck Phil. Oh god."

"Fuck yes!" Phil cried out, moving his hands to the headboard again as he let out needy moans.

Dan moaned, holding Phil's legs open wider and fucking into him roughly. "Oh fuck. You're so fucking tight Phil oh god."

"Make me loose," Phil said, scratching into the headboard as he moaned and whined with each buck of Dan's hips, his body falling apart in Dan's fucking.

Dan groaned, "Yeah baby. Gonna fucking wreck you on my cock." He moaned, rolling over and pulling Phil down on his cock, hitting his prostate. "Fucking ride my cock since you wanted it so bad."

Phil pushed him down roughly and immediately slid his cock back inside of himself, moaning loudly as he began fucking himself on him, digging his nails into his chest as he rode him quickly and roughly, snapping his hips down on him. "Fuck! I love your cock so much!"

Dan moaned, bucking his hips up. "Fuck yeah baby. Fuck yourself on my cock." He bit his lip. "You're such a slut, Phil. Couldn't even wait until we got here to kiss me. Dirty little whore." He whispered in his ear.

Phil moaned loudly as Dan dirtytalked him. "Slut for you, daddy," he let the nickname fall from his lips without thinking much into it, too lost in pleasure. He whined and shook on top of him, fucking himself on to him harder and faster.

Dan moaned loudly, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Phil's waist. He started making Phil roughly bounce on top of him.

Phil let Dan use him as he threw his head back and screamed on top of him, his moaning so loud he was sure they'd get noise complaints. "Fuck!" Phil screamed when he bounced into his own prostate. "Right there!"

Dan tightened his grip on Phil's hips, holding him still. He started bucking up inside of him, hitting his prostate every time and not letting him move.

Phil whined and screamed, digging his nails into Dan's shoulders as he fucked into his prostate with every thrust. He couldn't help it when he came earlier than he meant to, his head falling back and another needy scream falling from his lips as he came on his stomach and Dan's chest.

Dan moaned, coming deep inside of Phil. "Fuck. I love you-- ahh!"

Phil's eyes grew when Dan said he loved him and he felt his breath leave him as he came deep in him. He felt happy tears fill his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in Dan's neck. "I love you so much," he whispered into his  neck as he came down from his high.

Dan opened his eyes, panting a bit. Looking down to where he was still inside of Phil. "Fuck. I love you too."

Phil slid off of him slowly, moaning lowly as he felt Dan's cum in him. "I want to mark you up," Phil said shyly, blushing as Dan's cum dripped out of him when he sat down.

Dan nodded, silently agreeing to Phil's request.

Phil pushed Dan back and slid in between his legs as he leaned down and began kissing over his neck, leaving hot open mouthed kisses before he began biting and sucking on the skin there, the joy of Dan saying he loved him making his head fuzzy and his heart warm. Dan loved him.

Dan gulped, moaning quietly at the feeling. He hadn't meant to say he loved Phil, it had just slipped out while he was cumming. He did love Phil, he loved Phil with all his heart. He just wish he had told him in a different setting, something nicer.

Phil marked up the side of his neck and pulled away to smile at it before he turned his head to the other side and began marking up the other side of his neck, silently claiming Dan as his.

Dan sighed quietly, closing his eyes and letting Phil do what he pleased.

Phil marked him up and ran his fingers over the markings as he smiled at him. "You're so pretty," he said shyly, his cheeks going pink.

Dan blushed, looking up at Phil. "You're gorgeous."

Phil blushed and smiled down at him, leaning down to gently kiss him.

Dan kissed back softly, pulling away and grinning. "Hi." He whispered.

"Hi," he said back softly. "We can go back to being just friends if you'd like," he said with a soft smile. He just wanted Dan to be happy.

Dan chuckled. "I don't think that worked out very well."

Phil chuckled back and nodded. "I'm sorry.. I couldn't hold back anymore. Everyone was staring and I got possessive," he admitted shyly.

Dan laughed. "I never noticed." He admitted.

Phil laughed and smiled down at him. He blushed when he looked down and saw his cuts. "I missed you so much," he said sadly, stroking his fingers over Dan's collarbones.

"Missed you too." He says softly. "Been wanting to kiss you since I chased you with my water gun."

"I've been wanting to kiss you since you helped me with my homework," Phil said shyly, remembering when Dan leaned in to help him with his homework and his heart quickened.

He grinned. "Gonna have to help you with your homework more often."

Phil laughed and nodded. "That'd be lovely," he said jokingly. He sat up fully on Dan and looked around his room. "Is this the first time you've been here?"

Dan glanced around, laughing a bit. "Yeah."

"Welcome to my room," Phil said laughing. "It's not much because my parents are assholes," he said shyly at his blank walls and boring color.

Dan laughed and looked around. "Bigger than mine."

"But not better," he said smiling softly. He got off of Dan so he could sit up and he sat next to him, shrugging at his room and giggling as Dan's hoodie was on his bed. "Yeah I kinda stole that from you," he said shyly when Dan noticed it.

Dan laughed. "Keep it. Looks better on you."

Phil smiled shyly and nodded. "Was planning on it," he said with a wink. "I sleep with that thing almost every night," he admitted, pulling it into his lap and brushing his fingers over the fabric.

Dan grinned, snuggling closer to Phil. "And you thought we'd be able to go back to being just friends"

"There's no way I'd survive," he said grinning. "But I'd do anything if it made you happy."

Dan chuckled, "I think you're my best friend."

"I think you're mine too," Phil said with a grin, admiring the brown eyes he never thought hed look in again a couple of nights ago.

Dan grinned, kissing Phil's cheek. "You look lovely."

"I look naked," Phil said with a chuckle, looking down at his naked body and running his fingers over his cuts with a frown.

"Which is a lovely sight." Dan says, laughing quietly.

Phil giggled and kissed Dan gently. He had missed this so much.

Dan's eyes softened and he pulled Phil close. "Love you."

"I love you too. You don't even know how much," Phil said with a grin as he locked his fingers with Dans.

Dan grinned. "Go on a date with me."


	31. Last Chapter :')

"Right now?" Phil asked with a grin.

Dan smiled. "Yes. Right now." He get up, looking around for his clothes.

Phil smiled and started rummaging his closet for nice clothes to wear. He grabbed a wash cloth from his bathroom and cleaned Dan's chest off, and then his own stomach. When he was done he pulled on a pair of his boxers and his black skinny jeans. He found a blue button up shirt he didnt wear much and turned to Dan. "This?"

Dan turned, immediately nodding his head yes. "Please, dear god. Wear that."

Phil licked his lips and laughed, putting it on as he looked in the mirror. He wanted to put on a jacket to hide his cuts but it took away from his outfit. He gulped and decided to just leave them. He buttoned up the shirt and began fixing his sex hair in the mirror.

Dan walked behind Phil, wrapping his hands around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder.

Phil looked at him in the mirror with a smile. "How did I get so lucky?" He thought aloud.

"Hmm. I don't know." He says, laughing and bit and kissing his neck softly. "How'd I get so lucky?"

"Pft lucky," he shook his head and smiled. "You deserve better," he said softly.

Dan shook his head, kissing Phil's neck again. "Why don't you let me decide what I deserve."

Phil leaned his head to the side to give him more access to his neck and chuckled lightly. "I guess you decide then."

"I think I'm lucky to be able to love someone as beautiful and smart and kind and funny as you.."

Phil bit his lip as Dan complimented him, the corners of his mouth curling into a shy smile. "I never thought you'd say it..." he said shyly. When he told Dan he loved him he didn't expect one back and he didn't get one the first time and it still surprised him that he said it. That he meant it.

Dan frowned. "I'm sorry."

Phil turned around and put his hands on his face. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said softly. "I should be apologizing. I'm a terrible person," he said sadly, looking into Dan's eyes with honesty.

Dan shook his head. "You're not. Don't think that." He leans in, kissing him softly.

Phil kissed him back as he moved his hands down to his lowerback to hold him close. "I love you," he said softly, kissing Dan's shoulder.

Dan smiled, "I love you too." He says and pulls away. "Let's go."

Phil nodded and grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone from his backpack when they made their way downstairs. When he was ready he waited for Dan by the door.

Dan walked out, taking Phil's keys. "I'm driving today."

"Are you even allowed to drive?" He asked with a laugh but let him anyway, getting in the passengers side.

"I do what I want." Dan says and laughs. "It's part of the whole badass thing everyone thinks I have going on."

"I've noticed," Phil said, laughing as he rolled his window down. "Where are we even going?"

Dan grinned. "Down the rabbit hole." He says and starts the engine, beginning to drive to the one place he'd always wanted to take Phil.

"To wonderland we go," Phil said with a smile as he turned the radio up and stuck his head out the window.

Dan laughed, and drove. He drove for over an hour, leaving the city limits. They eventually made it to the bridge that Dan had been looking for. It was on a mostly deserted stretch of road, there where hardly and cars here. He got out and walked to Phil's door, opening it for him.

Phil grinned and step out. "What a gentleman," he said teasingly as he looked around.

Dan smiled. "We're a dying breed unfortunately." He grabbed Phil's hand and walked to the edge of the bridge. When he got there Dan grinned and turned towards Phil. "Take off your clothes."

"All of them?" He asked, his eyes widening.

Dan grinned, beginning to unbutton his own shirt. "Unless you want to jump in with your clothes on."

Phil watched him undress as he grinned and began undoing his own clothes. "You know before I met you I would've been scared shitless to do this," he said, sliding his shirt off and working on his jeans.

"And now?" Dan asks, grinning and taking his shoes off.

"Whatever you want me to do I'll do," Phil said, pulling his jeans down along with his boxers and slipping his shoes off.

"But are you scared?" Dan asks, looking down and grinning.

"Maybe a bit," he said with a grin as he held Dan's hand.

Dan's grin widened. "Good." Is all he said before he's jumping off the bridge and into the water below.

Phil shook his head and caught a breath before he was closing his eyes and jumping off as well, feeling his breath leave him as he felt like he was floating before he hit the water.

Dan came up from underneath the water, laughing and swimming towards Phil.

Phil came up with a gasp as his heart pounded against his chest. He laughed a bit, relieved he was alive as he wrapped his arms around Dan's waist and pulled him close. "This water is fucking freezing and you're a bit crazy," he said with a wide grin.

Dan laughed and hugged Phil, "All the best people are, Lester."

"Guess you're right, Howell." Phil looked around them at all of the city lights and he felt a bit breathless, looking back at him. "No matter where we are and what I see, you always seem to be prettier," he said as he looked at him with a soft smile, admiring the way the lights lit up his brown eyes, making them gold.

Dan blushed, pulling Phil in for a kiss. "You're so beautiful. How'd I get so lucky?" He asked himself quietly.

Phil smiled and kissed his cheek. "You're the beautiful one here," he said gently, pushing Dan's hair out of face. "My hobbit."

Dan laughed, kissing Phil again. "I think it's possible that I might have a crush on you."

"Oh really?" Phil asked with a giggle. "Because I think I might have a crush on you too."

"You don't say!" Dan says sarcastically and started laughing before looking around, watching as the sun set. "Here it comes." He said, excited he saw fireflies starting to light up the area.

Phil hugged him close and watched as he was fireflies start lighting up, and the sun setting. "Wow.." he said breathlessly, staring in awe at the sight.

Dan smiled, watching it and he grabbed Phil's hand. "Dance with me."

"In the water?" Phil asked with a giggle.

Dan laughed and nodded, spinning Phil around in the water and bringing him close again.

Phil giggled and laced his fingers with Dan's with one hand while he held his waist with the other. "Its so pretty out here. Wish we had music," he said softly.

** SONG TO PUT ON : I WONT GIVE UP BY JASON MRAZ **

Dan sighed and started singing softly, "When I look into your eyes it's like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise.. there's so much they hold."

Phil smiled at Dan's singing as he spun him around in the water, starting to swim backwards as he pulled him with him.

"And just like them old stars, I see that you've come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?" He continued, spinning Phil again and smiling at him.

Phil giggled softly as he was spun around and he leaned his head on Dan's shoulder, hugging him close as he listened to him sing.

Dan took a deep breath, "I won't give up on us even if the skies get rough.. I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up."

Phil felt tears fill his eyes as he kissed Dan's shoulder gently, running his fingers over his back gently.

"When you're needing your space to do some navigating. Ill be here patiently waiting.. to see what you find." He took a deep breath, kissing Phil's cheek gently, they weren't even dancing anymore Dan was just holding Phil and softly singing to him. "Cause even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn, god knows we're worth it. No, I won't give up"

Phil smiled at him as more tears filled his eyes, making his vision blurry. "I love you," he said weakly, the words causing the tears to fall down his face.

Dan smiles, "I love you too." He says gently.

Phil wiped his tears off with a small smile, looking down at the water. "It's funny how life turns out." Phil says, looking him in the eyes. "It's like you think you've got it all figured out. And then someone comes along and pushes you off that road into their own little road and you realize that's the road you were destined to walk."

Dan smiled widely. "That was very poetic."

Phil laughed lightly and shook his head. "Everything will be okay," he said gently, more telling it to himself than Dan.

Dan grinned. "Yeah. I told you that."

"Yeah.. I didn't believe you until now," Phil said with a small smile.

Dan grinned, locking his fingers with Phil's. "I just knew."

Phil held Dan's hand as he looked at him. "I love your eyes," he said gently.

"I love yours."

"Its like the sun is in your eyes. Fire, passion, beauty," Phil said as he looked into Dan's eyes.

"Your eyes are so many colors." Dan says breathlessly. "They're so beautiful."

"Yours hold so much meaning and strength," Phil said gently. "You're so strong Dan," he said, resting his hands on Dan's cheeks.

Dan shut his eyes, inhaling deeply and opened them again. "Thank you."

Phil pulled him into a hug as he remembered all the shit Dan has to go through. "I'll take care of you. I'll help you through all of it," he said gently, hugging him closer.

Dan kissed his shoulder, not able to stop smiling. "I'll take care of you too."

"I..I want to be something more to you Dan," he said gently, his heart beat speeding up some in his chest. He kissed Dan's shoulder again gently. "If you're ready..."

Dan smiled softly, pulling away to look Phil in the eyes. "I was kind of under the impression that we already were."

Phil smiled and nodded. "My boyfriend.." He said the words quietly and gently as if he were confirming them.

Dan nodded. "Your boyfriend."

**

WELP *wipes tear* Another amazing story to write has unfortunately met it's end. *wipes another tear* This story was so much fun to write and I think it's because I related a lot to Phil & his family issues & of course I know how fucking stupid school is & this story just hit me on an emotional level but I love it & I hope you had fun reading it♡


	32. Epilogue

Phil covered his eyes as another jumpscare happened, a scream erupting in the movie theaters and he looked at Dan frightened. "Why did you choose this movie?"

"Because I thought it would keep PJ and Chris from making out." He says simply and looks at the seats in front of them. "Obviously not." He laughed and threw some popcorn at them.

"They make out wherever we go," Phil said with a giggle, taking some popcorn and throwing it at them as well. 

Chris pulled away to tell them to fuck off before he was shoving his tongue down PJ's throat again.

Dan laughed, "Guys come on! Watch the zombies eating people!"

Chris flipped them off and Phil took more popcorn and threw it at them.

Dan threw popcorn at them as well, complaining that they shouldn't have come if they where just going to make out.

Chris pulled away to grab the popcorn from PJ as he began throwing pieces back at them, Phil laughing loudly and trying to catch some in his mouth.

Eventually an employee walked over and asked them to leave because they where bothering the other people.

Phil snorted as Chris shoved him playfully. "You guys were the ones making out!" He said as he locked his fingers with Dan's.

"At least we're not fucking in school bathrooms," Chris said, laughing loudly when Phil went red. "That happened one time!"

Dan laughed, "Okay so you caught us having sex once? How many times have we caught you guys?"

Chris blushed and stuck his tongue out at Dan. Phil laughed loudly and turned to Dan. "What should we do now?"

Dan shrugged before getting an idea. "Wanna go to the bridge?" He asked, knowing that Phil is the only person that understood what he meant.

"Let's do it," Phil said, holding Dan's hand tighter. "We're taking you guys to Wonderland," Phil said with a grin as they all walked to Phil's car.

PJ shared a confused look with Chris but followed, sitting in the back as Dan sat in the front with Phil.

Phil drove them with a grin as he remembered this was the place that he and Dan had made their relationship official at the end of last year. "It's almost been a year," he told him with a smile as he remembered that their anniversary was coming up.

Dan grinned. "Perfect time to go back."

"You've had to spend a year with me oh god," Phil said with a chuckle.

"I've loved every second of it." Dan laughed and got silent as Phil drove.

Phil smiled as he turned on the radio and took Dan's hand in his, driving them to the bridge with his other hand. When they got there a little later Phil pulled over in the same spot he did when they first came. "Okay everyone get naked!" He yelled as he took his shirt off and threw it at Chris.

PJ widened his eyes. "I didn't realize you guys were into this sort of thing." He teased.

Phil laughed loudly and shrugged. "It was Dan's idea," he said teasingly as he got out of the car and began unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans.

Dan got out of the car, laughing. "Come on guys." He says, taking his shirt off.

Phil watched PJ and Chris look uncomfortable and he laughed, shaking his head. "We're not forcing you into a foursome oh my god just trust us," Phil said, pulling off his jeans.

Dan giggled, taking his pants off and running towards the edge of the bridge. He looked back at them "Down the rabbit hole we go!" He yelled before he fell backwards off of the bridge.

PJ jumped out of the car, "Oh my god!" He yelled, worried.

Phil giggled and pulled his boxers off, watching Dan hit the water. "Come on," he said, standing at the very edge of the bridge. "Hurry up."

PJ ran over with Chris, looking down. He took a deep breath and Chris grinned. "Let's do this!" He said and he and PJ held hands as the jumped in together.

Phil laughed loudly and jumped in after them, feeling like he was floating again as he 'went down the rabbit hole' as Dan called it.


End file.
